We’re your ice cream man, stop us when you’re passing by.

You remember when you were a kid and you’d chase after the ice cream truck to score Creamsicles and Bomb Pops? Wouldn’t it be better if there were booze involved? Well, that’s what we thought, anyway, but then again, we were the only 8-year-old hanging out with a Gimlet in one hand and a SuperSoaker in the other.

Anyway. MGM Grand’s Wet Republic took two things we all know and love and put them together into the poolside treat, the Drunken Popsicle. Served in plastic cones with a long, thin spoon through the middle in lieu of wooden sticks, the Drunken Popsicles come in Red Bull/vodka, Corona limon and Frida Margarita. They’re served in an acrylic, modernist tray for rapid deployment of the cones. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

This is much better than writing a paper on the Medieval philosophy of Boethius.

Going on this very second, until 6 p.m. over at MGM Grand’s Wet Republic is Summer Rebellion, a pool party put on by UNLV’s nightclub management program. It’s free entry for UNLV students and alumni, and includes a volleyball tournament. So if your only other option is sitting in a dank classroom on a nice day and listening to some prof drone on about Jacques Lacan or the mating habits of starfish (turn the lights down low, baby, it can be sexual or asexual — awww, yeah), you may have a viable alternative on your hands.

By Jason Scavone

Seriously. We also would have accepted Laura Prepon.

Wilmer Valderrama was everywhere this weekend, begging the question: If we’re going to have a That ’70s Show actor running around town, why can’t we get Mila Kunis? Valderrama started the day yesterday at MGM Grand’s Wet Republic with, apparently, new best friend Criss Angel while Lil John did his duty on the turntables.

Then Valderrama and Angel hit The Bank inside Bellagio, drinking Patron straight from the bottle all night. There’s something unspeakably brave about sharing a bottle with Criss Angel, like a doughboy coming off the farm to sign up for duty on the Western Front in World War I.

On Friday at the Bank, Playboy playmate Destiny Davis was there along with Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim pitcher Kelvim Escobar. Escobar is on the disabled list right now and KILLING our fantasy team. Keep that arm well protected at the clubs, please. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Ray Alamo | SpyOnVegas.com)

Brand loyalty is one thing, but you really could’ve taken that Dasani. You were thirsty, and it wouldn’t have killed you to drink it.

By Jason Scavone

What, no water slide?

Wet Republic at MGM Grand doesn’t have its grand opening until Friday, but thanks to a combination of hopping the fence and slipping the lifeguard a $20 to look the other way, we were able to take an early look around before security caught on to us.

At the heart of the ultra-pool are two salt-water swimmin’ holes adjacent to each other, framed on the left by the outdoor ultralounge and on the right by daybeds and cabanas behind them. At the foot of the complex are three spas lined end to end, while at the head are six VIP bungalows with their own spas for a vantage point over the entire complex.

The cabanas come equipped with a wraparound couch as well as flat-screen televisions and mini-bars, while the bungalows offer king-sized beds and a table and chairs for gatherings. The front even has a small well-manicured lawn, should VIP guests feel the need to break out a game of jarts. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Zab Judah, left, lobbying for a guest spot on the next Three 6 Mafia record.

Wet Republic at MGM Grand just needed Don King to get a pay-per-view started as boxers Mike Tyson and Zab Judah shared a bungalow Friday with the Three 6 Mafia and Adventures in HollyHood assistant Computer.

Meanwhile, over at The Bank inside Bellagio, CeCe Peniston delivered a performance of her 1991 hit “Finally” Sunday night. Neneh Cherry could not be reached for her response.

By Jason Scavone

Does this mean we’ll have to get a bikini wax?

Following yesterday’s soft opening, it’s now official — Wet Republic at MGM Grand will have its grand opening April 25. Yesterday, DJ Eric Cubeechee was there with Grandmaster Flash was there to inspect the DJ booth. Flash was standing precariously close to the water when he was overheard to remark to a mischief-minded lass “Don’t push me, ’cause I’m close to the edge.”

By Jason Scavone

Do you think they’ll let us bring our snorkel and fins?

Uber-pool Wet Republic at MGM Grand is having its soft opening today, right as we speak. Hurry! Grab your board shorts and go!

The ultra-pool is set up as a megalopolis of chlorinated good times, with DJs, bottle service, spas and a pair of salt-water swimmin’ holes, among other amenities. The grand opening is scheduled for later this month.

By Jason Scavone

It’s going to be almost as good as running through a sprinkler.

Although there’s no official opening date and no pictures have been released, the early buzz on Wet Republic at MGM Grand is starting to ramp up. Even by our jaded, cynical standards, we have to admit that this self-styled ultra-pool sounds pretty cool.

Consider this: MGM is advertising eight separate pools and spas eating up 7,600 square feet of real estate on the sprawling, 53,000 square-foot complex. Two of the pools will be saltwater swimming holes surrounded by waterfalls.

There will be an open-air ultra-lounge, a sundeck, VIP bungalows that offer private spas, flat-screen TVs and video game consoles (because what you absolutely need for a day at the pool is Super Smash Bros: Brawl). Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone