Jennifer Love Hewitt celebrated the slow, inexorable march to Judith Light-hood when she hosted Stereo Loves Love Saturday at Palazzo’s Azure in honor of her new Lifetime movie, The Client List. It’s only a matter of time before she crosses paths with a domestic violence-crazed Brian Dennehy.

After she did the cabana thing, Hewitt was at Lagasse’s Stadium for a screening of the movie, which premieres today on Lifetime. You know what we think of when we think “Sports book?” Lifetime movies. Oh, don’t you remember the one where Meredith Baxter played an abused wife who had to murder her husband and was also a pole vaulter? It’s a Lifetime classic.

Over at Wasted Space inside the Hard Rock, Corey Taylor did a solo acoustic performance that included a few covers including Johnny Cash’s “Give My Love to Rose,” Pearl Jam’s “Black,” and, for some reason, the Steve Miller Band’s “Fly Like an Eagle.” He dedicated a song to recently deceased Slipknot bassist Paul Gray, whose widow, Brenna Gray, was in the crowd. Earlier in the day, the Hard Rock dedicated a case to Taylor and Slipknot.

Jenny McCarthy spent her night at Vanity, putting in a request for Sean Kingston around 2 a.m. and dancing with one dude until 4 a.m. Oh, and not getting vaccinated. She totally spent the whole night not getting vaccinated for anything.

Earlier, McCarthy had dinner at N9NE Steakhouse inside the Palms. Tyreke Evans of the Kings was there with two friends. Amar’e Stoudemire was with a group of eight and the greatest goalie in all of hockey, Ryan Miller of the Buffalo Sabres, came in a little before 9 p.m. with a group of 10 to celebrate his 30th birthday.

McCarthy popped up to the Playboy Club with five friends at 10:45 p.m., where Miss August 2010 Angela Francesca Frigo had a crew of 15, as were castmembers of The League.

Flo Rida probably didn’t need Flavor Flav’s help picking out girls, but he got it anyway. Flav jumped on the Palms pool stage for “Low” to help bring girls up to dance during the song. In a shocking twist, Flav didn’t even make them compete on television for his affections. It’s like our whole world is turned upside-down.

Upstairs at the Playboy Club, Corey Feldman was wearing a polka-dot suit and sunglasses, because apparently there was some kind of convention going on at the Palms for people who dress weird and were famous 15 or more years ago.

Over at Wasted Space inside the Hard Rock Hotel, Halestrom broke out a trash can drum set for their acoustic show. Corey Taylor, tonight’s Friday Night Live performer, was there to check it out, as were members of Five Finger Death Punch and Avenged Sevenfold. Apparently only bands with numbers in their name were being let in.

Look, nobody’s going to take your crime spree seriously at this rate.

It was a year ago today that the L.A. Comedy Club got back on its feet. The month prior, Trader Vic’s had announced it was closing at the Mircale Mile Shops and that left the club, which ran on Vic’s second floor, without a home. Man, if there is anything sadder than a homeless comedian, we don’t know what it is. Unless it’s a homeless comedian who just had all his stuff stolen by another homeless comedian.

Joaquin Trujillo, who founded the club along with Matt Chavez, moved the operation to the Four Queens and almost immediately started going to work on expanding to the Hard Rock Hotel. After an audition show early in May with Bret Ernst, the club started running weekly showcases at Wasted Space June 18.

“We’ve been courting them for almost a year,” Trujillo said. We had to convince the Hard Rock our brand fits their brand. We’ve got a long term contract with them, and it should be pretty fun.”

The idea, he said, is to take comics who have already are a little bit established, but to also walk the line between mainstream stand-ups and the alternative comedy set. It was a search for what Trujillo called, “relevant comedy.”

The Friday, Saturday and Sunday gigs have seen competition from the Hard Rock’s own entertainment — in it first weekend, L.A Comedy went up against The Offspring at The Joint, but Trujillo said the club, like in did at Planet Hollywood, draws an audience that might not otherwise come out to the casino.

“Locals will follow us out,” he said. “We had to bring in an extra 30 chairs just to have room for people (the Sunday of opening weekend. We were driving 1,400 bodies to Miracle Mile per week. As a marketing tool and a feeder for nightlife-based casino, it makes sense. We’re doing three shows a week at the Hard Rock. That’s an extra 650 bodies that weren’t staying on property going to Wasted Space, or gambling. I think we could sustain another room on the Strip.”

The next month’s worth of comics have all had their own Comedy Central Presents or other TV credits, including July 30′s Bert Kreischer who hosts Bert the Conqueror on the Travel Channel. This weekend’s lineup — shifted up to tonight, Friday and Saturday for the Fourth of July — features comic Kevin Shea, who appeared on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend and Jimmy Kimmel Live! He’s is one of the refined-but-edgy imports Trujillo is aiming for, but he’s also using local guys in his shows.

“Almost all of our hosts are local. We give a lot of local guys guest spots.” he said. ” Bryan Bruner and Brandt Tobler, they both featured for us this last month. We like to reward them. Some of them are getting asked to headline.”

If we learned nothing else from Beavis and Butt-Head it’s that Henry Rollins proved that lying is awesome. He also does poetry and comedy, not just angry punk Black Flag ranting. He’s doing a spoken word engagement at Wasted Space inside the Hard Rock Hotel tonight.

Pools

• Liquid at Aria holds Tequila and Turntables.
  

  Clubs

• Encore Beach Club has Dip & Dance.
• Vanity at the Hard Rock Hotel has Paul Harris of Dirty Vegas for Godskitchen.
• It’s Worship Thursday at Tao.
• Gold Lounge does Tempted Thursday.
• King Ink at The Mirage has Throwdown Thursday.
• The Foundation Room at Mandalay Bay has Original Sin Thursdays
• Lavo at Palazzo has Residance.
• Krave does Thurstdaze with DJ Sobe.
• Crown at the Rio does its Latin night, Rumba.
• Blush at Wynn Las Vegas holds Pop Thursdays
  

  Music

• The Spin Doctors are at the Palms Pool.
• Cabo Wabo has Rock Daddy.
  

  Comedy

• Dom Irrera is at the Playboy Comedy Club.
  

  Bars

• The SpyOnVegas.com Open Bar is at Town Square’s Cadillac Ranch from 6 to 9 p.m.
• Diablo’s Cantina at Monte Carlo does Rock the Roof.
• Blue Martini has Mundo Vacio.
• Smokin’ Hot Aces does College Thursdays.
• Cheyenne Saloon brings in Fire to Reason, The Core, Vile Child and Left Unattended.
• Freakin’ Frog puts Topher Koza, Josh Matthew and Last Night in Mexico on stage.

Skybar – Neal Preston photo exhibit
FF –

* Crown – Rumba, Latin night
* HoB – Acoustic Strip
* Smokin’ hot Aces – College Thursdays
* Cathouse – Stiletto Thursdays
* Diablo’s – Lady Reiko & The Sin City Prophets
* Rock Room – Acoustic Asylum
* Obsession – Beau Tech, DJ Frank Charles
* Brand – Brother Luke
* Caramel – Fashion Forward
* Rockhouse – Goung out of Business Thursdays
* Krave – Thurstdaze. DJ Sobe
* Ghostbar – Soundbar (first 3 thurs.) Bang! A Rock Night (last thurs)
*McFadden’s — Beerfest
* Wasted Space – Thursday Night Ride w/ Sinners
* Lavo – Residance w/ DJ Chris Garcia
* The Bank – Sessions (Faarsheed & Eddie McDonald)
*Drais – After Life Thursday Weekly DJ Battle
* Red Room – Soul Kitchen
* Gold Diggers – Latin Night
*Tao – Worship Thursdays
*Dive – Elvis vs. Johnny

We’re really not down with this whole Luke Perry-with-a-full-beard thing. There was a time where his sideburns were a shining beacon on a hill — a signpost that you, too could do anything. Anything like hang around with Shannen Doherty, or somehow get mixed up with the mob in Beverly Hills. Those sideburns meant something, and now they’re gone. Is it a symbol of the passing of childhood? Innocence destroyed? That people get tired of being called “Dylan” on the streets? We’ll never know.

Anyway, Perry and his girlfriend, Madison, were at Love inside The Mirage for Friday night’s 7 p.m. show. When he went backstage, Perry dropped to his knees to thank the cast. Now Luke Perry will be marrying the entire cast of Love. Presumably, in Canada, where that sort of thing is legal. Also only legal in Canada? Chad Kroeger of Nickelback. He was spotted at Bare earlier in the day. Thanks, Canada. Thanks loads. We always knew you secretly hated us.

At the Hard Rock Hotel, Wasted Space did an afterparty for Xfanz with porn stars Teagan Presley, Sunny Leone, Ron Jeremy, Lisa Ann, Andy San Dimas, Kagney Linn Karter, Sarah Sloane, Brynn Tyler and Jenny Hendrix. Poker pro Chris Ferguson was there for a friend’s birthday, while Eva Misle, who’s opened for Miley Cyrus, was at Vanity.

Fighter George St-Pierre was at the Palms pool for a brief stint at one of the cabanas. Please disregard everything we said about Canada. And please refrain from punching us. At Rain, producer Timbaland partied with a group of 30 at around 2 a.m.

Mike Posner did two shows at both Blush and Surrender Friday night, knocking out “Cooler Than Me” just before 1 a.m. at Blush from on top of the bar. He made his way to Surrender to do it all over again at 1:30 a.m. Hurt Locker screenwriter Mark Boals was there for the show, in town for the Campus MovieFest.

Hey, look who’s not publicly grousing about who might have punched who, or who’s strung out on oxycontin? It’s Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson, making nice at Vanity’s UFC afterparty Saturday night where Dana White brought in 51Fifty to entertain the crowd. Producer Victor Calderone joined the scene later in the night, which everyone left free of having been recently punched. Unless they were a UFC fighter. But we guess that goes without saying. Which you would think would be the case with porn stars doing drugs, but apparently that leads to all sorts of brouhahas.

Nas did The Joint with Damian Marley, and Floyd Mayweather Jr. was there to check out the show. Marley followed up with a stop at Wasted Space. The night before, Angels & Airwaves members David Kennedy, Atom Willard and Matt Wachter made that same commute. No Tom DeLonge, though. The Blink-182 deprived masses must’ve been crushed.

At Vanity, Saints Reggie Bush and Bobby McCray came in late to meet DJ Eric D-Lux. Tennessee’s Chris Johnson and former Titan LenDale White, and Green Bay’s Nick Collins brought in a crew of 30. Texans wideout Andre Johnson, Broncos tackle Jamal Williams, Saints linebacker Jonathan Polynice Vilma, Raiders safety Michael Huff and Giants safety Antrel Rolle all had their own tables. Apparently if you weren’t at the Palms or in minicamp, you were at the Hard Rock.

On Sunday, Mark McGrath and DJ Homicide got together at Rehab to do “Every Morning” and a cover of “Don’t Stop Believing” before doing some crowd participation karaoke. DJ Eric Cubeechee played emcee for the 2010 Rehab Model Search, with Jamie Wilmot of Livermore, Calif., earning a spot in the finals with a chance to win $20,000.

And then it’s right back to the NFL with Nick Barnett of the 49ers, the Saints’ Sedric Ellis, Terrell Owens, Javon Walker, Donovan McNabb and the retired William Gay. Certainly, he’ll go down in history as the man whose jerseys prompted smartass friends everywhere to stand to their left in custom “You’reso” jobs.

That night at Wasted Space, former Gunner Gilby Clarke did a show, while Deadmau5 got in during the wee hours for a super late-night set that Larry Johnson and Zab Judah stuck around for.

You know why there isn’t a porn series called Zamboners? Because hockey and pornography don’t go together at all. Yet there they were sharing the same space Saturday night at Vanity inside the Hard Rock Hotel.

Ryan Malone of the Tampa Bay Lightning was popping bottles of Cristal while porn star Jenny Hendrix had her own adjacent table. Later in the night they gathered in the booth with DJ Eric D-lux. We’re not sure exactly how much high sticking was involved.

Over at Wasted Space, Sen Dog from Cypress Hill led the way on the afterparty for their Mandalay Bay Beach show. The guys from Rev Theory and As I Lay Dying also stopped by. There really should have been some kind of “How I Could Just Kill a Man”/As I Lay Dying mashup involved.

A few years ago, there was a horse that ran in the Preakness called “Rock Hard Ten.” Which, is completely filthy and hilarious that it got by the people who approve horse names. Sweethead isn’t quite as filthy, but it’s almost as double entendre-y. Well. We suppose it’s more single entendre, but whatever. Either way, Queens of the Stone Age guitarist Troy Van Leeuwen brings his other project to Wasted Space at the Hard Rock Hotel tonight.

• Vanity at the Hard Rock Hotel has Nic Fanciulli for Godskitchen.
• It’s Worship Thursday at Tao with the May models’ birthday celebration.
• Haze celebrates Cee-Lo’s birthday.
• The SpyOnVegas.com Open bar is at Cadillac Ranch from 6 to 9 p.m..
• Blush at Wynn Las Vegas has the Tuff N Uff MMA Ring Girl Search with $1,000 in cash and three MMA ring girl contracts up for grabs.
• The Artisan celebrates the seven-year anniversary of Soulkitchen.
• Morels at Palazzo has the Stone Brewing dinner at 7 p.m.
• Ghostbar at the Palms does Down.
• J.B. Smoove is at the Playboy Comedy Club.
• Diablo’s Cantina at Monte Carlo does Rock the Roof.
• King Ink at The Mirage has Throwdown Thursday.
• The Foundation Room at Mandalay Bay has Original Sin Thursdays
• Blue Martini has Mundo Vacio.
• Smokin’ Hot Aces does College Thursdays.
• Rockhouse does Going Out of Business Thursdays.
• Lavo at Palazzo has the Seduxion Latin night.
• Krave does Thurstdaze with DJ Sobe.
• The Freakin Frog (4700 Maryland Parkway) has Topher Koza and Byron Grossman.
• Cheyenne Saloon (3103 N. Rancho Drive) has Rovar 17, Stargasm, Vile Child and Erva.
• Beauty Bar (517 Fremont St.) features Romania, the Rooks and Ryan Pardey.
• The Area 702 Skatepark brings in Asking Alexandria, We Came as Romans, From First to Last, Our Last Night and A Bullet for Pretty Boy.

Punks Strung Out hit Wasted Space at the Hard Rock Hotel tonight with Natioins Afire, Cave Mummy (incidentally, our favorite band name of the month), and Chaser. They’re also doing a pin-up girl fashion show and art exhibit from Romantic Rock Designs. Does it even matter what bands you have once you a pin-up girl fashion show? We posit it does not.

• Vanity at the Hard Rock Hotel has Steve Smooth for Godskitchen.
• It’s Worship Thursday at Tao.
• Haze does Industry Thursday.
• The SpyOnVegas.com Open bar is at the Jones and 215 Sierra Gold from 6 to 9 p.m..
• Bryan Callen is at the Playboy Comedy Club.
• Diablo’s Cantina at Monte Carlo does Rock the Roof.
• King Ink at The Mirage has Throwdown Thursday.
• The Foundation Room at Mandalay Bay has Original Sin Thursdays
• Blue Martini holds Mundo Vacio.
• Smokin’ Hot Aces does College Thursdays.
• Rockhouse does Going Out of Business Thursdays.
• Lavo at Palazzo has the Seduxion Latin night.
• Krave does Thurstdaze with DJ Sobe.
• The Freakin Frog (4700 Maryland Parkway) has Topher Ryan Brent and Rebecca Williams.
• The Double Down Saloon (4640 Paradise Road) features Letter of Warning, Typical Mess and Adam’s Dagger
• Cheyenne Saloon (3103 N. Rancho Drive) has Stagnetti’s Cock and Big Jesus.