Get used to life … still on the outside. (Photos by Al Powers | SpyOnVegas.com)

Tito Ortiz will not face any charges for not hitting Jenna Jameson. It’s nice to know that under this great judicial system you’re innocent until proven guilty or proven to have married a porn star with a drug habit. Either way, Ortiz’s defense could have been that he’s robot sent back from the future designed specifically to punch people, and if Jameson spent the next day running around telling people about it, it would’ve meant he was a failure as a future punchbot, something that just clearly isn’t the case. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Drug-free, but not Leia-free. (Photo by Al Powers)

Jenna Jameson says a drug test from Vegas-based American Toxicology Inc. shows she wasn’t on OxyContin, or nine other drugs they tested for. This is a really tough thing to see, this very public, very ugly brawl, because it means that it’s going to be a long, painful, confusing time before anyone gets around to making Zombie Strippers 2. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Wait, which one is supposed to be covered in fistmarks again? (Photos by Al Powers | SpyOnVegas.com)

Tito Ortiz, arrested yesterday on domestic violence charges against Jenna Jameson, says all of this can be blamed on her addiction to OxyContin. Jameson, meanwhile, says Ortiz threw her in a tub and tore two ligaments in her shoulder and that the drug allegations are BS. She’s also on her way to Vegas right now. She must figure this is where all the MMA fighters are, in which case Ortiz won’t be able to get anywhere near her, unless she somehow ends up in Ken Shamrock’s suite. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Champagne does wonders to wash out those cuts. (Photos by Al Powers | SpyOnVegas.com)

Tito Ortiz, after a split-decision loss to Forrest Griffin in his ballyhooed return to the UFC, spent Saturday night after the fight with babymomma Jenna Jameson at Tao inside The Venetian, proving once and for all that no matter how much your day at work involves getting repeatedly punched in the face, coming home to Jenna Jameson takes some of the sting out.

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By Jason Scavone

They need to start a ‘Buy our shirts or get punched’ ad campaign. (Photo by Hew Burney. Additional photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

Tito Ortiz, already in the silkscreened T-shirt game with Punishment, pressed the brand by opening the Punishment MMA Las Vegas store at Hooters Casino Friday. Ortiz was on hand on Saturday to sign autographs. Maybe we’re weird, but between Punishment and Affliction, we’d prefer not to wear clothes that threaten to leave us battered and diseased. Someone needs to start “Doesn’t Look Too Bad” and “This Really Isn’t Scratchy” clothing lines.

By Jason Scavone

(Photos by Hew Burney | SpyonVegas.com)

Looks like Jenna Jameson’s “surprise” at CatHouse inside the Luxor for the birthday celebration of her boyfriend, former UFC champ Tito Ortiz, was to pop out of a giant cake and perform a little song-and-dance routine with a few of the CatHouse’s Coquettes.

We kinda wish she ate the damn cake. Seriously, Jameson — does Ortiz have you on a starvation diet? What happened to those knockout curves that used to make our dreams a little wetter?

Sigh. Either way, Ortiz seemed to enjoy himself thoroughly, surrounded by UFC pals Kendall Grove, Tiki Ghosn, Troy Mandaloniz, Rob McCullough and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, as well as other well-wishers such as Mike Tyson (who seems to own one white dress shirt) and System of a Down’s John Dolmayan. Click for more words and pictures »

By Pj Perez

CatHouse has become such a popular nightlife destination, it seems its culinary side — helmed by chef Kerry Simon — has been all but ignored. But don’t expect us to break from that trend. Nope, we’re here to make sure UFC champ and reality TV star Tito Ortiz has a heck of a birthday party tomorrow night at 10 p.m. at the Luxor-located restaurant and lounge.

Of course, with the guest list his girlfriend Jenna Jameson has thrown together — including Jenny McCarthy, Jim Carrey, Jason Giambi, Brianna Banks, Christopher Knight (Peter Brady, woo!), Adrienne Curry and CatHouse owners Simon, Billy Cross and Mick Doohan — we’re pretty sure Ortiz’s bash will be fine whether or not you show up. Reportedly, Jameson has a “very special surprise” in store for Ortiz’s 33rd. Last time a girlfriend told me that, it involved a trip to Planned Parenthood.

Good luck, Tito.

By Pj Perez

(Photo by Hew Burney | Spyonvegas.com)

UFC fighter Tito Ortiz — as well as some of his fellow testosterone-overloaded pals such as “Rampage” Jackson — partied it up at Tao inside the Venetian last night to celebrate some friggin’ “reality” TV show Ortiz is in called The Celebrity Apprentice. Right, in our reality, we compete for a spot to apprentice for Donald Trump with a dozen other C-grade celebrities. Everyday. Ugh …

Anyway, Ortiz showed up for dinner at the restaurant and nightclub with his girlfriend, porn megastar Jenna Jameson, who, judging by the above picture, probably didn’t eat anything. I mean, allegedly they had Kobe beef and sushi, but we’re guessing all the protein was for Ortiz, while Jameson just sipped some lemon water. And maybe some wasabi. Well, either way, Ortiz looks pretty happy to be there. With, you know, a porn star in his arm.

By Pj Perez