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  • JUICY J ENTERTAINS THE CHAMP

    JuicyJ
    (Photos by Scott Harrison. Tao photo by Al Powers)

    The Joint wound down 2013 with Juicy J who did strip-club anthem “Bandz a Make Her Dance” among other faces for a crowd that included Floyd Mayweather. Juicy moved on to Body English with Mike Will before the night was over, while Mayweather was spotted at Tao that evening as well.

    Leg-droppin’ Miguel did his midnight kiss with girlfriend Nazanin Mandi at Tao before ripping into “Sure thing,” “How Many Drinks?” “Adorn” and “Power Trip.” The champ had a table with friends. Friends other than the roster of Michigan State, we mean.

    LISTEN UP, BROTHER!

    hulk
    .Macaulay Culkin looks terrible these days.

    Well, you know somethin’, Mean Gene? Professional wrestling legend Hulk Hogan was spotted dining with three friends at Tao in the Venetian on Dec. 20. The group enjoyed spicy tuna tartare, Chilean sea bass, lobster wontons and Chinese sausage fried rice, but Hogan seemed horrified of the rare and fearsome Yokozuna roll.
    Hogan politely interacted with fans, took photos and threatened anyone who didn’t train, say their prayers and take their vitamins.

    1212THURS: THE ROUNDUP

    BadSanta
    We’re suddenly filled with Christmas cheer. (Photo by Gabe Zapata | SPYONvegas.com)

    You’ve worked hard this holiday season. Shopping. Decorating. Getting blasted on nog. It’s time you took some time to appreciate the season for its true purpose: Girls in slutty Santa suits. Tao has you covered tonight with its Bad Santa party, offering up $5,000 for Santa’s naughtiest helper. Screw the two front teeth, this is all we want for Christmas. (more…)

    WHERE YOU’RE DRINKING ON THANKSGIVING


    We also won’t be wearing pants this Thanksgiving. (Photo by Tony Tran | SpyOnVegas.com)

    And don’t say “At home, with my family.” We all know you’re a damn liar.

    Thanksgiving is traditionally a slow week in town, which is kind of hard. It’s right when you need an outlet that doesn’t involve your great-aunt complaining about Obamacare for five goddamned minutes. You do have more options than usual this year–and you’ll have them on a night that figures to be relatively relaxed, as these things go.

    Assuming you can roust yourself from a gravy coma, Tao does its 8th Annual Terminate the Turkey night, with DJ Five holding it down. Hakkasan gets in the mix this year, with DJ Cyberkid in the main room. Haze mixes it up a little with Yo! #HazeTBT for Throwback Thansgiving as DJ Scene goes old-school. And Pure and LAX are both open for their usual Thursday business as well.

    And if you’re in more of a live music mood, the Double Down brings in The Fremonts.

    The important thing here is you drink enough to black back out after you just started coming to from your day-drinking blackout. Trust us, you really don’t want to remember what you said to your step-cousin about her fourth baby by a third father.

    LAUREN CONRAD FETES LITTLE BROTHER

    Conrad
    Is that a banana reading your menu, or are you just happy to see us? (Photos by Al Powers)

    Lauren Conrad is getting married to William Tell, and if we’ve set it once, we’ve said it a hundred times: If you’re going to get married, get married to someone who has their own overture.

    Conrad and Tell brought her little brother, Brandon Conrad, to Tao Friday night to celebrate his birthday by dressing like a banana. Lauren put in the bare minimum effort, sticking on a set of bunny ears and calling it a night. It’s literally the most disappointed we’ve ever been with anything to do with The Hills.

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    KIM, KIM’S TWO FRIENDS, DO 33RD

    KimBday
    Well hello there, motherhood. (Photo by Erik Kabik. Additional photos by Kabik, Denise Truscello)

    Kim Kardashian showed off the best thing about having a baby Friday night at her 33rd birthday party at Tao. Well, the best thing about having a baby for the rest of us, anyway.

    After the Kanye West show at MGM Grand, everyone in the fam gathered at Tao–Khloe, Kourtney, the terrifyingly single Kris, Scott Disick–along with Naya Rivera, Tyga and Blac Chyna, Jonathan Cheban, Simon Houck, Robin Antin and Chris Rock, which is vaguely disappointing for some reason.

    The club dropped 33 bottles of Ace of Spades at the table and ran a montage of Kim-at-Tao photos behind the DJ booth. Tyga jumped on stage for a bit. Faith Hill was there in a skybox, but was not expressly partying with the Kardashians.

    But the real stars of the show were Kim’s post-baby boobs. And if we were thrilled about them, just how happy was Kanye, who actually gets to touch them?

    KimBday_KanyeLeer

    He’s that happy. He’s happy enough he’s going to burn a hole in the top of her boobs just by staring that hard. Remember this. Remember this, the perfect photo of this happy marriage, when the divorce hits in 18 or so months.

    KimBday_v1 KimBday_v2 KimBday_v5 KimBday_v4 KimBday_v3

    A$AP FERG WORKS OVER TAO

    Asap
    Pictured: People in the front row ruining it for everyone behind them. (Photos by Al Powers)

    Next Big Thing A$AP Ferg was at Tao last night to blast out “Work” and “Shaba.” And then after he finished doing his songs, he leaned into the mic, took measure of the audience and said, “Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, right?” At which point a pair of Elvis sunglasses and one of those Baby Carlos T-shirts instantly teleported onto him, while a yard margarita materialized in his hand.

    Congratulations, A$AP Ferg. You have been initiated.

    AsaP_h1 Asap_h2 Asap_h3

    1010THURS: THE ROUNDUP

    Ferg
    Paul Wall approves.

    A$AP Ferg is rolling into Tao tonight. He’s part of the A$AP Mob. Glitch Mob. Goodie Mob. A$AP Mob. Is that how we finally get into the mob? Start a hip-hop collective of some sort? Because we always thought it had something to do with sauce-stained wife-beaters and track suits. Now we’re all sorts of confused. (more…)

    MIGUEL MANAGES NOT TO KICK ANYONE

    Miguel
    Give the man some space around the leg area. (Photo by Karl Larson)

    After his Saturday-night stint at iHeartRadio, Miguel went into Tao to to do “sure Thing,” “Quickie,” “Power Trip,” “Adorn” and “Hey Ladies, Don’t Get Mad if I Accidentally Almost Decapitate One of You.” It’s a bit wordy, but it’s catchy as hell.

    Miguel also got on the New Year’s Eve bandwagon by announcing he’ll be playing Tao come the dawn of 2014, much to, we assume, the delight of Darren Criss of Glee and Pretty Little Liars‘ Lucy Hale and Shay Mitchell in the crowd.

    In other Tao news, the New York club is opening Tao Downtown this week, at 40,000 square feet of Rockwell Group-designed space with an animatronic Buddha. Because every club needs some Hall of Presidents-esque creepiness.

    Miguel_h2 Miguel_h1

    STRAIGHT OUTTA TAO

    cube
    The invisible fish hook had plagued Ice his entire career.

    Legendary rapper Ice Cube will host a party at Tao in the Venetian tomorrow night as part of Worship Thursdays and the unofficial kick-off to its Labor Day festivities.
    The co-founder of ground-breaking gangster rap crew NWA, is expected to grab the mic and spit a few hits or give a sobbing, revealing speech in which he apologizes for selling out and making movies and TV shows that even Tyler Perry would find cloying. Either/or.