10.28.13

KIM, KIM’S TWO FRIENDS, DO 33RD

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Well hello there, motherhood. (Photo by Erik Kabik. Additional photos by Kabik, Denise Truscello)

Kim Kardashian showed off the best thing about having a baby Friday night at her 33rd birthday party at Tao. Well, the best thing about having a baby for the rest of us, anyway.

After the Kanye West show at MGM Grand, everyone in the fam gathered at Tao–Khloe, Kourtney, the terrifyingly single Kris, Scott Disick–along with Naya Rivera, Tyga and Blac Chyna, Jonathan Cheban, Simon Houck, Robin Antin and Chris Rock, which is vaguely disappointing for some reason.

The club dropped 33 bottles of Ace of Spades at the table and ran a montage of Kim-at-Tao photos behind the DJ booth. Tyga jumped on stage for a bit. Faith Hill was there in a skybox, but was not expressly partying with the Kardashians.

But the real stars of the show were Kim’s post-baby boobs. And if we were thrilled about them, just how happy was Kanye, who actually gets to touch them?

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He’s that happy. He’s happy enough he’s going to burn a hole in the top of her boobs just by staring that hard. Remember this. Remember this, the perfect photo of this happy marriage, when the divorce hits in 18 or so months.

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10.11.13

A$AP FERG WORKS OVER TAO

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Pictured: People in the front row ruining it for everyone behind them. (Photos by Al Powers)

Next Big Thing A$AP Ferg was at Tao last night to blast out “Work” and “Shaba.” And then after he finished doing his songs, he leaned into the mic, took measure of the audience and said, “Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, right?” At which point a pair of Elvis sunglasses and one of those Baby Carlos T-shirts instantly teleported onto him, while a yard margarita materialized in his hand.

Congratulations, A$AP Ferg. You have been initiated.

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10.10.13

1010THURS: THE ROUNDUP

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Paul Wall approves.

A$AP Ferg is rolling into Tao tonight. He’s part of the A$AP Mob. Glitch Mob. Goodie Mob. A$AP Mob. Is that how we finally get into the mob? Start a hip-hop collective of some sort? Because we always thought it had something to do with sauce-stained wife-beaters and track suits. Now we’re all sorts of confused. Click for more words and pictures »

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09.23.13

MIGUEL MANAGES NOT TO KICK ANYONE

Miguel
Give the man some space around the leg area. (Photo by Karl Larson)

After his Saturday-night stint at iHeartRadio, Miguel went into Tao to to do “sure Thing,” “Quickie,” “Power Trip,” “Adorn” and “Hey Ladies, Don’t Get Mad if I Accidentally Almost Decapitate One of You.” It’s a bit wordy, but it’s catchy as hell.

Miguel also got on the New Year’s Eve bandwagon by announcing he’ll be playing Tao come the dawn of 2014, much to, we assume, the delight of Darren Criss of Glee and Pretty Little Liars‘ Lucy Hale and Shay Mitchell in the crowd.

In other Tao news, the New York club is opening Tao Downtown this week, at 40,000 square feet of Rockwell Group-designed space with an animatronic Buddha. Because every club needs some Hall of Presidents-esque creepiness.

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08.28.13

STRAIGHT OUTTA TAO

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The invisible fish hook had plagued Ice his entire career.

Legendary rapper Ice Cube will host a party at Tao in the Venetian tomorrow night as part of Worship Thursdays and the unofficial kick-off to its Labor Day festivities.
The co-founder of ground-breaking gangster rap crew NWA, is expected to grab the mic and spit a few hits or give a sobbing, revealing speech in which he apologizes for selling out and making movies and TV shows that even Tyler Perry would find cloying. Either/or.

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08.5.13

BRUNO MARS FOLLOWS SHOW AT TAO

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Bruno Mars, seen here slowly morphing into Lenny Kravitz. (Photos by Al Powers)

After Saturday night’s gig at MGM Grand Garden Arena, Bruno Mars bounced over to Tao for the afterparty. He got up in the booth to do “Locked Out of Heaven” and “Bubble Butt” before retiring to his table. Pacers center Roy Hibbert was also there, officially marking him as the smartest man in the NBA as he’s the only one to figure out to go to the club when it’s playing home to an artist that works exclusively in the “Hey lady, I find you distractingly pretty” school of R&B.

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07.29.13

CHRIS PAUL IS THE URKEL OF THE NBA

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Chris Paul is very excited about his new vase. (Photos by Tom Donaghue. Additional photos by Al Powers)

Quick! Who’s the biggest nerd in all of basketball? Dirk Nowitzki? Steve Nash? Muggsy Bogues? (Come on, just look at him.) Nope, nope and probably up until now, but moving forward, nope.

Chris Paul hosted the first TopSpin Charity Ping Pong Tournament at Palazzo on Saturday, where he dressed like this, with those glasses, and then posed with a championship crystal trophy after winning his own ping pong tournament.

He then went home and watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Twice.

Actually, he went to Tao with fellow basketball/ping pong stars Alan Anderson, Al-Farouq Aminu, Michael Conley, Jerome Williams, Royal Ivey, Andre Igoudala, Kyrie Irving, Greg Oden, Jerry Stackhouse, Al Harrington, Tyronn Lue, Roger Mason, Sebastien Telfair and Kenny Smith.

He did dinner with his brother, CJ, and STackhouse, while they were joined up at the club by Russell Westbrook and Carmello Anthony. Also at Tao that night was Josh Groban, who for once wasn’t the geekiest dude in the club. All thanks to the magic of Chris Paul and his ping pong paddles.

Paul and compand did Lavo on Friday night where David Spade and Kevin Farley, younger brother and nigh-doppleganger of Chris.

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07.8.13

LEBRON ON REPEAT AT TAO

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That is far, far too many pairs of indoor sunglasses for one photo. (Photos by Al Powers)

LeBron James capped off his second NBA championship in the LeBron-iest way possible: Through rampant self-congratulation.

James took to Tao Saturday night with Damon Jones and Juwan Howard, where after dinner he was joined by Floyd Mayweather and told the crowd to only refer to them as “Money Mayweather” and “King James.” Even you can’t feel good about that, six Heat fans who were into the team before the bandwagon pulled up.

A couple of girls painted gold to look like the championship trophy led out two cakes shaped like rings. About all James needed was an oil painting showing him dressed like George Washington next to a stallion to really cement the whole deal.

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06.3.13

MCCARTHY GETS SPARKLY

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Apparently diamonds cure autism now, too. (Photos by Erik Kabik)

The nice thing about throwing a big jewelry party is that it makes it really easy to lure in a bunch of hot chicks. We’d try it ourselves, but the only kind of jewelry we can afford to pass out are a bunch of Ring Pops.

Tao played host to the Simong G. Soiree Saturday night, where Jenny McCarthy was all dolled up, along with Paula Abdul, Holly Madison, Audrina Patridge, Catt Sadler, LaLa Anthony, Peta Murgatroyd, Mario and a very-pregnant Courtney Lopez, Gilles and Carole Marini and newlyweds Natrina Bowden and Ben Jorgenson.

The Village People were on hand to do “YMCA.” We’re not sure that a song about not having money for a hotel really fits with a diamond party. Because that’s what that song is about, right? Thrifty alternatives to expensive lodging? No? It’s about what? Oh. Well, uh. Never mind, then?

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05.28.13

KASKADE SERENADES EARLY RISER SET

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Fun club move: Wait until about 5:30, then start slipping Ambien in everyone’s drinks. (Photo by Brenton Ho)

Memorial Day just isn’t Memorial Day without staying up late enough that “getting breakfast after the club” starts to veer into “getting brunch after the club territory.”

Kaskade took his first crack at Tao on Sunday night, blasting through a six-hour set that didn’t end until 7:30 a.m.–after which he still hung around and signed autographs. Unless he was autographing a pillow and a sleep mask, we wouldn’t want to hang out any longer than we had to before dragging off to bed. Nothing good comes of 7:30 a.m. There shouldn’t be a time where people out on the street are equally as likely to have been making bad decisions as they are to be up for a morning jog.

Over at Lavo, Jamie Foxx had a table with a small group of friends before he hopped in the booth with DJ Vice. Weird, that Foxx would call attention to himself like that.

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