Apparently diamonds cure autism now, too. (Photos by Erik Kabik)

The nice thing about throwing a big jewelry party is that it makes it really easy to lure in a bunch of hot chicks. We’d try it ourselves, but the only kind of jewelry we can afford to pass out are a bunch of Ring Pops.

Tao played host to the Simong G. Soiree Saturday night, where Jenny McCarthy was all dolled up, along with Paula Abdul, Holly Madison, Audrina Patridge, Catt Sadler, LaLa Anthony, Peta Murgatroyd, Mario and a very-pregnant Courtney Lopez, Gilles and Carole Marini and newlyweds Natrina Bowden and Ben Jorgenson.

The Village People were on hand to do “YMCA.” We’re not sure that a song about not having money for a hotel really fits with a diamond party. Because that’s what that song is about, right? Thrifty alternatives to expensive lodging? No? It’s about what? Oh. Well, uh. Never mind, then?

By Jason Scavone

Fun club move: Wait until about 5:30, then start slipping Ambien in everyone’s drinks. (Photo by Brenton Ho)

Memorial Day just isn’t Memorial Day without staying up late enough that “getting breakfast after the club” starts to veer into “getting brunch after the club territory.”

Kaskade took his first crack at Tao on Sunday night, blasting through a six-hour set that didn’t end until 7:30 a.m.–after which he still hung around and signed autographs. Unless he was autographing a pillow and a sleep mask, we wouldn’t want to hang out any longer than we had to before dragging off to bed. Nothing good comes of 7:30 a.m. There shouldn’t be a time where people out on the street are equally as likely to have been making bad decisions as they are to be up for a morning jog.

Over at Lavo, Jamie Foxx had a table with a small group of friends before he hopped in the booth with DJ Vice. Weird, that Foxx would call attention to himself like that.

By Jason Scavone

Yeah, cake bitch! (Photo by Karl Thomas)

Breaking Bad’s Aaron Paul brought fiance Lauren Parsekian to Marquee’s Library Room Saturday night, where they both got his and hers cakes. Paul designed the groom’s cake to look like the Eiffel Tower steps where he proposed, and was frosting-inscribed “My pretty bird, thank you for loving me.”

Jesus Christ, we guess Jesse came out of the whole meth thing an incurable romantic. Though if Walt hadn’t have ever murdered Jane, it would’ve been a completely different ceremony. (Oh, and spoiler alert, btw. Can’t forget the spoiler alert.)

Over at Tao, Miguel came in with girlfriend Nazanian Mandi to do “Sure Thing” and “Adorn” for a crowd that included Will.i.am, Jennifer Lopez, Casper Smart and Kevin Hart before the Billboard Music Awards and a world forever changed by Miguel’s bizarre leg-dropping at the show. Theophilus London (of the All-Star Name Hall of Fame) was there too, as was Chris Paul.

By Jason Scavone

While wearing what appears to be a dentist’s lead smock. (Photos by Al Powers)

As Soon as Possible Rocky was at Tao on Saturday to deliver a medley of “Wild for the Night” and “Problems” for a crowd that included prince of pop music darkness Will.i.am. Also at the club were Seth Green and a shockingly still-alive Breckin Meyer, who apparently left behind all that Road Trip fame to just do Robot Chicken Star Wars specials full-time. Even more shocking, people actually recognized them.

Kyle Howard was in for dinner, as was Melissa Rycroft and husband Tye Strickland, while Patrick Peterson of the Cardinals was at the club for A$AP. Drew Carey was at Marquee Dayclub earlier, shockingly not bursting into flames after exposing all that pale Cleveland skin to the sun.

By Jason Scavone

Get it? Because of all the weed. (Photos by Al Powers)

XS wasn’t the only club celebrating an anniversary this weekend–Tao marked its seventh with a Seven Deadly Sins party Saturday headlined by Snoop Dogg, for the well-known “Getting Baked Out of Your Gourd” sin, which we believe slots in somewhere between greed and sloth.

Nina Agdal did part of her birthday celebration that night, as did Jason Strauss who was partying with Busta Rhymes. Rumer Willis and Jayson Blair in the club with Wilmer Valderrama, Allison Melnick, Nick Hoult, Ben Barnes, Mark Salling, Giants defensive back Terrell Thomas and Ken Griffey Jr. During the course of the evening Griffey pulled a hamstring and is expected to be sidelined from further clubbing for the next 15 days.

By Jason Scavone

Those signs have nothing to do with Ray. They’re just trying to get someone to bring them ingredients for sushi. (Photo by Al Powers)

Super Bowl champ (God, it just feels wrong to even type that) Ray Rice of the Baltimore Ravens was at Tao Saturday night to celebrate the win. Ray Lewis would’ve been there too, but he got caught up in thanking God for the invite and never actually made it out of the house.

Considering how many Steelers fans are in Vegas, we can only imagine all night there had to be more than one host, runner or waitress quietly contemplating slipping a few drops of Viseine into Rice’s Grey Goose. A Browns was about to actually do it, but tripped over a table leg and sprained an ankle.

At Marquee Saturday night was Taye Diggs. Reminding us all that sitting home watching Way of the Gun would’ve been way more enjoyable than watching the Ravens win the Super Bowl.

By Jason Scavone

We’re not sure the cowboy hat goes.

Tao has the official Supra Footwear party tonight, with rapper Theophilus London. Tremendous name. Favorite name we’ve heard in years. We believe “Theophilus” translates from the Greek as “Lover of Theo.” From which we’ll infer that London is a huge Cosby Show fan. We love everything about this setup. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

There’s like a 90 percent chance LT was hoping those cake pops were just pure cocaine with sprinkles. (Photos by Al Powers)

Two of the greatest sports figures of the ’80s–Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor and Nature Boy Ric Flair– were at Tao Saturday night for LT’s birthday and the LT Bowl. Or, as it’s better known, “Nearly our childhood dream party come to life if only Skeletor would have arrived, too.”

Former ’85 Bear Steve McMichael was there to party with the crew after the three of them were earlier spotted at Casa Fuente in the Forum Shops. Meanwhile at Lavo, Kathy Griffin stopped in for dinner, and Francisco Rivera celebrated his UFC win over Edwin Figueroa. Lions QB Matt Stafford spent the evening at Marquee’s Boom Box Room, as no Lions are allowed by NFL rule to be within 500 miles of the actual Super Bowl.

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Amit Dadlaney | SPYONvegas.com)

We … we feel like someone’s doing something wrong here. Is the girl on bottom guarding her boobs, or sexily grabbing them? Why is the girl on top just mashing her face into the other chick? It’s like someone ran sex instructions through Google Translate and told them to go at it.

By Jason Scavone

Hooray brunettes! And also, hooray blondes! Hooray redheads, too, while we’re at it. (Photo by Hew Burney | SPYONvegas.com)

Tao is looking to settle the age-old debate of blondes vs. brunettes tonight by having them make out. We’re not exactly sure how you pick out a winner from that particular contest structure, but we find it impossible to fault their logic. The winner of the best blonde-on-blonde or brunette-on-brunette kiss wins $5,000 and a lifetime of quiet appreciation from every dude in the audience. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone