Yeah, cake bitch! (Photo by Karl Thomas)

Breaking Bad’s Aaron Paul brought fiance Lauren Parsekian to Marquee’s Library Room Saturday night, where they both got his and hers cakes. Paul designed the groom’s cake to look like the Eiffel Tower steps where he proposed, and was frosting-inscribed “My pretty bird, thank you for loving me.”

Jesus Christ, we guess Jesse came out of the whole meth thing an incurable romantic. Though if Walt hadn’t have ever murdered Jane, it would’ve been a completely different ceremony. (Oh, and spoiler alert, btw. Can’t forget the spoiler alert.)

Over at Tao, Miguel came in with girlfriend Nazanian Mandi to do “Sure Thing” and “Adorn” for a crowd that included Will.i.am, Jennifer Lopez, Casper Smart and Kevin Hart before the Billboard Music Awards and a world forever changed by Miguel’s bizarre leg-dropping at the show. Theophilus London (of the All-Star Name Hall of Fame) was there too, as was Chris Paul.

By Jason Scavone

While wearing what appears to be a dentist’s lead smock. (Photos by Al Powers)

As Soon as Possible Rocky was at Tao on Saturday to deliver a medley of “Wild for the Night” and “Problems” for a crowd that included prince of pop music darkness Will.i.am. Also at the club were Seth Green and a shockingly still-alive Breckin Meyer, who apparently left behind all that Road Trip fame to just do Robot Chicken Star Wars specials full-time. Even more shocking, people actually recognized them.

Kyle Howard was in for dinner, as was Melissa Rycroft and husband Tye Strickland, while Patrick Peterson of the Cardinals was at the club for A$AP. Drew Carey was at Marquee Dayclub earlier, shockingly not bursting into flames after exposing all that pale Cleveland skin to the sun.

By Jason Scavone

Get it? Because of all the weed. (Photos by Al Powers)

XS wasn’t the only club celebrating an anniversary this weekend–Tao marked its seventh with a Seven Deadly Sins party Saturday headlined by Snoop Dogg, for the well-known “Getting Baked Out of Your Gourd” sin, which we believe slots in somewhere between greed and sloth.

Nina Agdal did part of her birthday celebration that night, as did Jason Strauss who was partying with Busta Rhymes. Rumer Willis and Jayson Blair in the club with Wilmer Valderrama, Allison Melnick, Nick Hoult, Ben Barnes, Mark Salling, Giants defensive back Terrell Thomas and Ken Griffey Jr. During the course of the evening Griffey pulled a hamstring and is expected to be sidelined from further clubbing for the next 15 days.

By Jason Scavone

Those signs have nothing to do with Ray. They’re just trying to get someone to bring them ingredients for sushi. (Photo by Al Powers)

Super Bowl champ (God, it just feels wrong to even type that) Ray Rice of the Baltimore Ravens was at Tao Saturday night to celebrate the win. Ray Lewis would’ve been there too, but he got caught up in thanking God for the invite and never actually made it out of the house.

Considering how many Steelers fans are in Vegas, we can only imagine all night there had to be more than one host, runner or waitress quietly contemplating slipping a few drops of Viseine into Rice’s Grey Goose. A Browns was about to actually do it, but tripped over a table leg and sprained an ankle.

At Marquee Saturday night was Taye Diggs. Reminding us all that sitting home watching Way of the Gun would’ve been way more enjoyable than watching the Ravens win the Super Bowl.

By Jason Scavone

We’re not sure the cowboy hat goes.

Tao has the official Supra Footwear party tonight, with rapper Theophilus London. Tremendous name. Favorite name we’ve heard in years. We believe “Theophilus” translates from the Greek as “Lover of Theo.” From which we’ll infer that London is a huge Cosby Show fan. We love everything about this setup. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

There’s like a 90 percent chance LT was hoping those cake pops were just pure cocaine with sprinkles. (Photos by Al Powers)

Two of the greatest sports figures of the ’80s–Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor and Nature Boy Ric Flair– were at Tao Saturday night for LT’s birthday and the LT Bowl. Or, as it’s better known, “Nearly our childhood dream party come to life if only Skeletor would have arrived, too.”

Former ’85 Bear Steve McMichael was there to party with the crew after the three of them were earlier spotted at Casa Fuente in the Forum Shops. Meanwhile at Lavo, Kathy Griffin stopped in for dinner, and Francisco Rivera celebrated his UFC win over Edwin Figueroa. Lions QB Matt Stafford spent the evening at Marquee’s Boom Box Room, as no Lions are allowed by NFL rule to be within 500 miles of the actual Super Bowl.

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Amit Dadlaney | SPYONvegas.com)

We … we feel like someone’s doing something wrong here. Is the girl on bottom guarding her boobs, or sexily grabbing them? Why is the girl on top just mashing her face into the other chick? It’s like someone ran sex instructions through Google Translate and told them to go at it.

By Jason Scavone

Hooray brunettes! And also, hooray blondes! Hooray redheads, too, while we’re at it. (Photo by Hew Burney | SPYONvegas.com)

Tao is looking to settle the age-old debate of blondes vs. brunettes tonight by having them make out. We’re not exactly sure how you pick out a winner from that particular contest structure, but we find it impossible to fault their logic. The winner of the best blonde-on-blonde or brunette-on-brunette kiss wins $5,000 and a lifetime of quiet appreciation from every dude in the audience. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Just like this, but with more Cuban girls in bikinis. (Photo by Amit Dadlaney | SPYONvegas.com)

Tao Group is once again getting set to invade Miami’s Ultra Music Festival this March. Rather than slumming it with the regular VIP however, true A-listers can relax on a Tao, Lavo or Marquee branded deck that affords unobstructed views of the main stage and promises not only bottle service, but a “gourmet menu.” Other premium perks include expedited entry via an exclusive entrance, private bathrooms and branded merchandise. Tao ran similar VIP operations at last year’s Ultra and Electric Daisy Carnival. Ultra was put to the vote on whether it would be allowed to have a second weekend, but the EDM fans and the reported $80 million they funneled into the local economy won out.

By David Morris

Bossalanabottoamoe. We’re pretty sure that’s the next line in that song, right? (Photo by Brenton Ho)

The pride of Jamaica (Non-Weed, Non-Marley, Non-Bobsled Team Division), Sean Paul, was at Tao Friday night to hang out with Criss Angel and do “Gimmie the Light” and other songs where you won’t possibly understand the lyrics.

Apparently most of the rest of the NFL is jumping into celebratory “We survived another season without massive concussions” mode, because Julius Peppers was celebrating his 33rd birthday there, and the Broncos’ Elvis Dumervil was at his own table with a small group. Though we imagine if he saw how easy it was to beat the Patriots on Sunday, maybe he’d have stepped up his pass-rush game against the Ravens. On Thursday, the Cowboys’ Morris Claiborne and Gerald Sensabaugh were spotted at a table on the dance floor planning a way to have Tony Romo kidnapped for the entire 2013 season.

By Jason Scavone