(Photo by Eric Ita | SpyOnVegas.com)

See? This is what happens if you don’t keep the bartenders busy. Redouble your efforts, people. As with most things, continuous heavy drinking is the solution to this tragic problem.

By Jason Scavone

K-Fed is going to be all sorts of jealous.

Shar Jackson, who celebrates her birthday tonight at Wynn’s Blush, was at Tao Beach at The Venetian this afternoon along with Kevin Federline, his brother Chris, Federline’s parents, Jackson’s parents, and we assume Randy Quaid after word got out of a family gathering that big.

By Jason Scavone

Could not have hit life’s lottery any harder, could he? (Photo by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Kevin Federline, whose custody battle with Britney Spears cost her $460,000 on top of the $250,000 she had to pay Federline’s attorney, was at Tao Beach at The Venetian this afternoon with his brother and friends. The crew had a bottle of Jack Daniels and Patron shots in the cabana.

So, at least $710,000 for the custody arrangement to be finalized? That is some pressure to lay on a kid, if he has to live up to that kind of expectation. Thank God we never felt like we had to live up to anything to our parents beyond some macaroni and cheese and basic cable for Nickelodeon.

By Jason Scavone

FACT: This is Ja Rule’s swimsuit. He’s very modest. (Via JaRule.net)

Ja Rule set up shop at Tao Beach today at The Venetian, having lunch in a cabana with friends, keeping things simple with a salad and a frozen Tao-tini. Even that, though, couldn’t erase the lingering sting of not being nominated for a Best Supporting Actor award for his role in The Fast and the Furious.

By Jason Scavone

We sincerely hope Chuck Woolery is involved.

Are you sexy, sophisticated, upscale and professional? No? Neither are we. On the off chance you are, though, new reality dating show Heavenly Match is casting for an audition June 21 at Tao Beach inside The Venetian.

The show promises three guys and three girls will dine together, and gimmicky eliminations won’t be used. Which totally kills our idea to get the guys from Air Supply to boot people off a show by playing “All Out of Love.”

Single guys and girls ages 21 to 39 can submit a headshot and 200-word story about why they should be selected to info@tmgfilms.com

By Jason Scavone

Bet you didn’t expect to see a picture of Mario Lopez and a cow wearing a dress today, did you? (Via myspace.com/mariolopez1)

Mario Lopez hosts Tao Beach’s Hot Bodies celebration today at 10 a.m. inside The Venetian. We assume Dennis Haskins had something else important going on. You could also check out the Palms Place grand opening or Christina Aguilera at Luxor’s LAX. If none of that appeals to you, read on. Events at 10 p.m. lest noted. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Give him this: The man knows his advertising. (Photo by Melissa Reese | SpyOnVegas.com)

Bad Boy Bill steps in for Tao Beach’s Sunset Sessions tonight, spinning from sundown until 10 p.m. His brother, Good Boy Bill will be sitting home quietly all night reading Victorian British literature. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Curious what else is going on? So are we. Read on. Everything is at 10 p.m. unless noted. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

This is what she wears out pretty much everywhere. (Via myspace.com/karolinakurkova)

Victoria’s Secret model Karolina Kurkova spent yesterday afternoon at Tao Beach at The Venetian, setting up shop at one of the VIP cabanas. The Czech supermodel and actress in the upcoming G.I. Joe movie prompted more than on guy at the pool to remark he’d like to “show her my Cobra Commander.” One even went so far as to say, “she can polish my Destro any day.” No, we have no idea what that means, either.

By Jason Scavone

As appropriate for summer as bikinis and the Grease soundtrack.

The sun is blazing, the heat is like a blast furnace, and the prospect of gin and Gatorade, while doing wonders to replenish your electrolytes, just doesn’t sound that appealing. You need a pick-me-up that isn’t going to linger on the tongue.

Tao Beach’s Pear Cooler is there to step up to your summer refreshment plate. The Cooler, created by Tao Beverage Director Edward Allen, combines Ty Ku sake liqueur, Grey Goose Pear, fresh lemon juice and a spritz of soda. A pale seafoam green served over as much ice as your cup can hold, on presentation alone you know you’re about to regulate your inner thermometer.

“You want something that’s light and refreshing, with good acid,” Allen said of the drink that started out in the early stages of its creation as something using muddled kiwi with the Ty Ku. “It reminds me of pools.” Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Sure, it looks tranquil here, but Manatee Night at Tao Beach is kind of smelly.

Tao Beach at The Venetian kicks off its pool season at 10 p.m. tonight with Lipstick Jungle actress Lindsay Price. Price performed in a few of the late Beverly Hills 90210 seasons, so we’re pretty sure if you ask her all sorts of questions about Torii Spelling’s pregnancy, she’ll be happy to answer anything you care to know.

On Saturday, Chace Crawford and Chris Evans will be there for a 2 p.m. afternoon shindig, while at 10 p.m. tomorrow night, things get cranked up into full gear for Tao partner Jason Strauss’ birthday. In attendance will be Project Runway winner Christian Siriano, Kourtney Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian and Krobert Kardashian. Er, Robert. You know what we mean.

By Jason Scavone