Worst. Post-apocalypse. Ever. (Photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Lady Gaga’s opening act, Semi Precious Weapons turned up with Bai Ling at Studio 54 inside MGM Friday night for the Gaga afterparty like refugees from the Trashy Gay Thunderdome. Gaga used to open for Weapons in New York, now they’re appearing in her video for “Telephone” and opening for her on this tour.

Lead singer Justin Tranter DJ’d for a crowd of Lady Gaga impersonators, which, all in all, has to be kind of an easy crowd to please. We’re pretty sure we could leave an old mixtape of EMF and Jesus Jones on and it’d be enough for that crowd.

Over at sister club Tabu, UFC fighter Jon Fitch did his bachelor party with Josh Koscheck, Josh Thomson and Phil Baroni. It was another bachelor/bachelorette party, because apparently no one wants to listen to us about that kind of thing. Fiancee Michele Cao spent the night in her wedding veil. See? That’s why you don’t want to combine the two. That’s way too much wedding nonsense for one dude to have to endure.

Meanwhile, Planet Hollywood had Molly Sims and Jennifer Flavin-Stallone for the Home Shopping Network’s 33rd anniversary. They were doing live broadcasts and exhibits from the hotel along with Tori Spelling, Wolfgang Puck Susan Lucci and others.

By Jason Scavone

Bunnies do it all month long. (Photo by David Becker)

Playmate Kelly Carrington already did the Bunny Bash at Eve earlier in the month, but once you’ve got some momentum on this thing, you may as well keep it going. She’s celebrating her birthday tonight at the Playboy Club inside the Palms. But wait! That’s not all for hot-chick based club experiences this evening. Angelica Bridges, Sean E. Cooper and the cast of Fantasy host at Tabu inside MGM Grand while Sports Illustrated model Jessica White holds down the hotness fort at Lavo. We never get invited inside the hotness fort. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Free stuff up for grabs.

Tabu at MGM Grand debuts its new industry night, X Level Mondays, where judges look for girls in the crowd to be the new face of Karma PCT threads in a new national campaign. Finalists are picked every week with the winner to be announced June 28. Weekly winners get a stay in MGM Grand’s Signature Towers, a $200 dinner, two tickets to Crazy Horse Paris and a table at Studio 54 or Tabu. The overall winner also gets a $1,000 shopping spree. DJ Ania and DJ Harry A! spin tonight. Oh, look. Hot chicks are getting more free crap for being hot. See, this is why everyone who tries to push women’s sports needs to knock it off. Women already have their own venue of professional competition, and this is it. And it pays better than the WNBA anyway. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Worth the busted arm? Worth the busted arm. (Photos by Ethan Miller)

We’re so confused. B.A. Baracus shouldn’t be losing fights. What would Hannibal think? He’d be embarrassed. Face wouldn’t even be able to show his … face.

Yet there was Rashad Evans, winner of a unanimous decision over Quinton “Rampage” Jackson Saturday night at UFC 114 celebrating his victory at Tabu inside MGM Grand. He came in with a crew of 30, though we assure you Mad Murdock didn’t number in that bunch.

Ring announcer Bruce Buffer stopped in to congratulate Evans. Over at Studio 54, Forrest Griffin partied with Josh Koscheck and Cain Velasquez, while Anderson Silva, Clay Guida, Antonio Nogueira, Gabriel Gonzaga, Melvin Guillard, Joey Villasenor, Phil Baroni, Jamie Yager, John Chaimberg and Junior Dos Sanos all made the preparty on Friday night.

Guida passed around an In-N-Out paper hat to other fighters on the red carpet. It was either an elaborate prop or what Dana White was threatening everyone with if they started losing too many fights.

By Jason Scavone

When you’re famous, don’t you get to not date the bug-eyed? (Photos by Ethan Miller | Getty Images)

Chuck star Yvonne Strahovski brought her boyfriend, Timothy Loden, to MGM Grand for his birthday Saturday where the couple spent Saturday at Wet Republic with friends and family. Sadly, Strahovski stuck to a sundress instead of breaking out the two-piece. Stupid conservative CIA dress rules.

From there the group gathered at Tabu where Strahovski snapped pictures with fans. And if we know anything about shows where a nerd is the protagonist, what a creepy, sweaty assemblage of fans it was.

Also spotted at Wet Republic was Cedric Yarbrough, the former Reno 911!‘s Deputy Jones. He was in town to celebrate his 37th birthday, and castmember Carlos Alazraqui (Deputy Garcia) joined in.

By Jason Scavone

She could definitely make the cut for Jersey Shore 2. (Photo by Vic Bonadonna)

Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing co-host Madison Hildebrand was at Tabu inside MGM Grand last night for the official 2010 GLBT Nightclub & Bar event along with friend Mervat Berry. Earlier in the day the real estate agent was was scoping out residential units at CityCenter. Hildebrand also posed for Playgirl, which puts him in the lofty company of Levi Johnston. Man, how many innocent dudes who just wanted to flash their dong for money are forever going to be lumped in with the guy who had questionable enough taste to hook up with Sarah Palin’s daughter while also lacking the sense to pull out?

Meanwhile, over at N9NE Steakhouse, Joe Montana had dinner with five others. The good thing about having Montana in for dinner if you’re Chef Barry Dakake is you can ask him if he likes his steak, and you know you’ll get a completely sincere answer. And that answer? He’ll be in his room masturbating.

By Jason Scavone

Brooke Burke, seen here with three friends and one guy who wandered off Con Air. (Photo by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Oh, Wild On. Such a savior for lonely nights in the late ’90s when Internet porn was still kind of crappy. The Wild On maven, Brooke Burke, was at Tabu inside MGM Grand for a pre-Valentine’s Day party Saturday night. She was putting her Dancing with the Stars skills to work, rocking out on the tabletop to Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” and Sean Kingston’s “Fire Burning.” One of those, by the way, has 40 million-plus views on YouTube. So. Nicely done, America.

Over at Tryst, chef Cat Cora was at the owner’s table with Wynn chef Paul Bartolotta. XS saw soccer player Freddie Ljunberg out for a second evening while Mr. Olympia, Jay Cutler, was also in the crowd.

Also at Wynn, UFC fighter Chuck Liddell took his family, including kids Trista and Cade, to see La Reve. They ducked backstage to meet the cast afterward, with Liddell getting a little Dancing with the Stars time in with the ballroom dancers. He returned Sunday night to hit up XS.

By Jason Scavone

Tom Felton is in this pic. He just nicked Daniel Radcliffe’s Invisibility Cloak. /nerdjoke’d. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

This is how you do it. Right before she has to go get yelled at about running and baby carrots and whatever, former Baywatch girl Nicole Eggert celebrated her 38th birthday and the end of her pre-Celebrity Fit Club freedom with a big-ass cake at Tabu inside MGM Grand Saturday night. It’s like celebrating your last night before going into prison by not getting raped.

The cake was supposedly low calorie, but look at that thing. It’s like someone stole it from the Wonka Factory. Also turning up for the party was Tom Felton — Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter movies — because, well, why not Draco Malfoy? Alan Rickman had a thing to do that night and Emma Watson had a dentist appointment early the next morning.

By Jason Scavone

Corey Haim used to be all over that every night. No wonder he’s trying to make a comeback.

Nicole Eggert celebrates the end of her freedom tonight at Tabu inside MGM Grand before she goes on Celebrity Fit Club. In holding with the grand tradition of everyone who was ever on Baywatch having to hook up with a musician of questionable nature, Eggert was the one attached to House of Pain and Limp Bizkit’s DJ Lethal. She sued him for burning her with cigarettes a couple years ago. She still got off better than Pam Anderson. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Kayden Kross will make you jump, jump. (Photos by Al Powers. Additional photo by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Kayden Kross, the starlet who co-hosted the AVN Awards on Saturday, got going early with a celebration for the top title in porn in 2009, The 8th Day at Tao. She had dinner with a group of 10, including fellow star Stormy Daniels. Tabu at MGM Grand countered with a Vivid party with Sunny Leone, Savanna Samson, AJ Bailey and Lia.

Lavo, for their part, had Joba Chamberlain and Torii Hunter. Who, for all our sakes’, we hope aren’t appearing in any porn anywhere that isn’t under strict lock and key at the respective Chamberlain and Hunter estates.

Finally, Tera Patrick did a signing for her memoir, Sinner Takes All at Wasted Space inside the Hard Rock Hotel. Patrick, who last year didn’t appear at any of AEE, instead opting to hold her own events around town, was at the convention on Saturday to sign copies of her book there.

Patrick’s ex-husband, Evan Seinfeld, launched his website, rockstarpornstar.com at Moon along with Richard Dreyfuss. Which has us confused about the future of Jaws-related pornography. Alexis Texas, Jenna Haze, Kid Rock and Xzibit all took part. In the launch party we mean, now Jaws porn.

Z-Trip was joined at Rain by Xzibit and Too $hort, where Sean Locklear and Robert Sims of the Seahawks were spotted. Hines Ward and James Farrior of the Steelers and Kevin Payne of the Bears were there, too, because the Bengals had to go half-speed against the Jets in Week 17 and then pay the price in the playoffs.

The football players also bounced over to Moon and to Playboy Club where Harry James Sharper was hanging out. Earlier, Ward was at N9NE Steakhouse, which also saw Rock, Xzibit, Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and tennis power couple Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf.

By Jason Scavone