Tarzan was running late for the shoot. (Photo by Scott Harrison)

And then, after the Miss USA ceremonies were over, judge Heather Mills, fresh off of being booed by the crowd at the broadcast, was at the official afterparty at Planet Hollywood’s Prive. It was their way of warning Barbara Bach not to reach for those divorce papers from Ringo any time soon.

Mills was chatting with Penthouse Magazine owner Marc Bell and we hope for the love of God it wasn’t about giving her a spread in the mag.

Also at Prive on Friday were Nip/Tick actress Kelly Carlson, David Spade, Project Runway winner Christian Siriano, Joey Fatone, celeb hair stylist Ken Paves, Shawne Marriman of the San Diego Chargers, family patriarch Joe Jackson, and Project Runway contestant Nick Verreos along with sister and Survivor: Fiji contestant, Rita. Shanna Moakler hosted for the evening after being the centerpiece of a one-off production of Pieces (of Ass) at the Steve Wyrick Theater.

By Jason Scavone

Don’t do it, Tailor Made. There’s no way she’s as delightfully batshit as New York. (Photo by Erik Kabik)

One-time Dancing with the Stars rug-cutter Shanna Moakler was at Planet Hollywood’s Prive Saturday night to celebrate her 33rd birthday with Patron, vodka and Red Bull, 40 of her closest friends and George Weisgerber, better known to his adoring legions as I Love New York 2 winner Tailor Made.

“Winner,” of course, being a relative term. He did, after all, get sentenced to date (or possibly marry, if you’re inclined to believe reality TV reunion shows) crazy-ass New York and her 46 pounds of fake boobs.

Also seen at Prive was comedian Wanda Sykes, who would be perfect for Tailor if that whole New York thing doesn’t work out.

By Jason Scavone

Over/under on how many times she’s made “All the Small Things” cracks at Barker: 759.

Former Miss USA, Playboy model, Dancing with the Stars vet and girlfriend of Dennis Quaid (Surely she meant to date Randy, right? You say a sense of humor is sexy all the time, gals. Time to step up.) Shanna Moakler celebrates her 33rd birthday at Prive inside Planet Hollywood Saturday night.

The on-again, off-again wife of former blink-182 drummer Travis Barker gets the party started at 10:45 p.m. Moakler has also been romantically linked with Billy Idol, leading us to suspect she’s chiefly interested in dating guys with exceptionally spiky hair.

By Jason Scavone