Wyatt Cenac is totally making strip-club face.

In the aftermath of Harry Reid’s — well, whateverthehell it was Harry Reid was thinking — The Daily Show sent correspondent Wyatt Cenac to Vegas to cover the Senator’s African Americans for Harry Reid luncheon on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. But who should turn up at the end of the segment? Sapphire Gentleman’s Club and former reality show delight (and current dancer) Angelique Morgan, Frenchy from I Love Money 2.

And you know what? We missed her. We’re not sure why there isn’t a rule at VH1 that she has to be on all their reality shows. It’d be a huge improvement for Frankly My Dear or Basement of Love or whatever they’re calling Frank the Entertainer’s show. It also makes us want to get a gig on The Daily Show, just so we can write ourselves into cross-country strip-club trips.

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Hew Burney | SpyOnVegas.com)

By Jason Scavone

This girl tried to psych out opponents with, ‘Have you seen my porno?’ Well-played. (Photos by Tony Tran | SpyOnVegas.com)

There are some strippers who know their way around ping pong. We don’t know if it’s that they’re just down for anything that involves a paddle, or if there’s some sort of rec room in the basement of every strip club across America, but there were a lot of girls at Sapphire’s Third Annual Ping Pong Palooza that were borderline Gumptastic on the tables. Either that or the Las Vegas Table Tennis Club put implants in a bunch of ringers. Either way. We don’t really know.

The tournament pitted teams of nightlife professionals against each other for a trophy that could only be described as the Stanley Cup of stripper ping pong. Sadly, we weren’t fated to take a celebratory lap around the club, as we personally dragged our team down to an early first-round exit at the hands of Haze. We’re not ashamed to admit that the dancer who was our fourth — every team was three guys and a dancer, unless they brought their own girl — was far and away the star of our squad. But then, we never said we minded getting beaten by strippers. Rimshot! Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Ray Alamo | SpyOnVegas.com)

And now you know what it would look like if Bono tried to blow a robot.

By Jason Scavone

It’s just like the opening scene of Sense & Sensibility.

Yeeeeeaah. We’d let these girls “wash” our big ol’ dirty “car” anytime.

No, seriously, it’s filthy. Don’t forget to vacuum the interior, too. And for the love of Christ, put a coat of wax on that thing.

The girls of Sapphire offered up bikini car washes Friday while McFadden’s sponsored a dunk tank and food and sno-cone booths at the Rio as part of a city-wide Harrah’s Entertainment employee contribution campaign to benefit United Way of Southern Nevada. They hauled in more than $1,700. We prefer to give our money to Sapphire girls one lap dance at a time. We trust they’ll send the cash through the proper channels. It’s all very above-board. What can we say? We’re charity-minded.

By Jason Scavone

Alisa Apps poses for “Holding Your Own Boobs Quarterly” (Via myspace.com/alisaapps)

Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club (3025 Industrial Road) celebrates six years of lap dances (three for bump, and three for grind) tonight hosted by porn star Brittany Starr with a performance by Alisa Apps. She’s a much more natural fit at a strip club than their original choice: Neil Young. They’re offering free drinks and hors d’oeuvres from 8 to 10 p.m.

By Jason Scavone