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    God, that thing looks like it gets a quarter mile to the gallon. It’s glorious.

    Texas alt-country act Cody Canada and The Departed comes to Brooklyn Bowl tonight (7:30 p.m., $16.50). Bad call on the name, continuing to go by Cody Canada, even though you’re from Texas. Instinctively, we thought this was a Triumph cover band. Still, anyone who uses an early ’50s Hudson in their press photo can’t be all bad. (more…)


    Rob Schneider, seen here confused by mosaics.

    How often do you get the chance to see the vaccine-hatin’est member of Grown Ups live and in person? Rarely. That’s how often. Tonight’s your chance, though, when Rob Schneider opens up the first of two nights at the South Point (7:30 p.m. $30-$40). The man’s impressive, if for no other reason than because in the wave of anti-Adam Sandler resentment that poured out of the Sony leaks, he seems to have emerged unscathed. (more…)


    Eagerly awaiting his collab with DJ Pastrami.

    DJ Mustard (real name, no guff, is Dijon) pops into Light tonight. The “Rack City” producer really should have a bunch of chorus girls behind him, like those Old Gold girls, all decked out like condiments. It could be a thing. You wouldn’t go to see a monthly Picnic residency? Of course you would, who are you even trying to fool? (more…)


    Stay out of Malibu, Lebowski.

    Planning on checking out the benign stoner noir of Inherent Vice this Oscar season? Why not take in an amuse boche of the original stoner noir, The Big Lebowski, tonight at Inspire Theater? The flick is free with the purchase of one lonesome cocktail. Sure, you could order a Caucasian. If you want to be all That Guy about it. (more…)


    For when you really need your neckbeards in monochromatic jumpsuits.

    Do you want the funk? Gotta have that funk? Then you need Brooklyn Bowl, where Turkuaz and :sigh: Sophistafunk are playing tonight (7 p.m.). Really, funk bands? You can’t just give it a rest with shoehorning “funk” into your names? Ska bands are right there, where you can see how terrible it is. Is that what you want? To be more like ska bands? (more…)


    Seen more shit than Snoop.

    Beloved weed-entusiast grandpa Willie Nelson is at House of Blues tonight(7:30 p.m., $55-$150), and if you haven’t ever seen Willie live you owe it to yourself to get out there. Besides, you can’t do pills with Johnny Cash anymore. Blowing a bowl with Willie might be as close as you can get. Do it for America. (more…)


    Look at that mind. So suspicious.

    Sure, you could go to another headphones party at Tao tonight with Wyclef Jean. That’s a thing you could do. Or. OR. You could do the right thing and head down to Beauty Bar to celebrate what would have been the 80th birthday of the King of Goddamn Rock ‘n’ Roll. Beauty Bar has King vs. Cash and DJs Lucky LaRue, Maybeline and Catman to help you break free of your poor, stilted wooden heart. (more…)


    Tiesto is watching. Always watching. Grinning that Tiesto grin.

    What do you do when you re-sign your top-draw DJ to another multi-year deal? You get his ass up in the booth and tell him to get to work. Tiesto is back at Hakkasan tonight for another edition of Club Life. Assuming you can peel yourself away from whatever headphones that can fold into a tablet you were playing with at CES for long enough, anyway. (more…)