Check out the gobblers on her. No, we don’t know what that means either.

It just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving if you didn’t have to face down your family nice and hung over. You’re a lot less likely to hear your mother nag you about getting married sometime soon if all you can hear is pounding in your head. Plus, you’ll be too miserable to be horrified when your Uncle Herb undoes his pants.

So, Rok Vegas at New York-New York hosts 944 Magazine’s Jive Turkey 2, with Rhyme and Rhythm, The Bargain DJ Collective, Los Martinez Bros., DJ Sense and Ms. Ghetto Superstar herself, Mya. Go, steel yourself for battle, soldier. Aunt Edna’s horrific medical tales aren’t going to be any more bearable with a clear head.

By Jason Scavone

CariDee better think twice before showing off her QB skills. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

Brittny Gastineau, actress, model and daughter of Jets great Mark Gastineau, celebrated her birthday Friday night at Rok Vegas inside New York-New York along with CariDee English from America’s Next Top Model. In a tribute to the old man, Gastineau recorded 3 1/2 sacks on the evening. That one cocktail waitress is going to walk with a limp for a week.

Also at Rok on Friday were Heidi Cortez of Sunset Tan, DeAnna Pappas from The Bachelorette and Dennis Quaid, who came in with a group of ladies around 12:30 a.m. Randy Quaid was going to come too, but he was busy flying an F-14 into an alien spaceship. Again.

Desperate Housewives and 90210’s Josh Henderson was over at The Bank inside Bellagio along with girlfriend Taylor Cole of Numb3rs.

LAX at Luxor saw Cole Hauser of 2 Fast 2 Furious fame host after dinner at Treasure Island’s Social House, while Jeremy Jackson hosted at Audigier. Pure got Dieter Schmitz of Laguna Beach, which is grabbing the short straw out of that particular threesome.

By Jason Scavone

She should’ve gone as Holly Madison dressed as Pam Anderson from Baywatch. (Photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Carmen Electra did her Halloween turn at Rok Vegas inside New York-New York, going as a cigarette girl who had a tray full of candy instead of smokes. We’re pretty sure a pack of Parliaments would’ve made more people’s Halloween than a fun-size Milky Way, but whatever. As Candy Girls go, she couldn’t hold a candle to Selma Hayek’s turn in Dogma.

Fiance Rob Patterson, formerly of Korn, was along to do a DJ set with a little guitar work thrown in there. Sure, but did he play any New Edition?

By Jason Scavone

That dude makes a great Dai– oh. Oh wait. Nevermind. (Photo by Hew Burney | SpyOnVegas.com)

The VH1 dating show machine just keeps grinding on and on. Real and Chance have their own show. Ray J is getting a show. Now Sobby McFakeboobs herself, Rock of Love 2 runner-up Daisy de la Hoya is doing a second night of casting, going from Rok Vegas Wednesday to the Double Down Saloon tomorrow night.

Wednesday’s tilt at Rok drew members of Trapt, Hinder and Rev Theory along with former Steelers great Jerome Bettis and Big Brother’s Dick Victorious. Don’t expect that kind of celeb turnout at the Double Down. She’ll be there from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. looking for rocker dudes who want to go live in a house with a bunch of meatheads and try to keep her from bawling her eyes out for 10 lousy minutes. Good luck, intrepid soldiers. You’ll need it.

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Hew Burney | SpyOnVegas.com)

Let’s see, you’ve got your slutty firefighter, your slutty faerie, a slutty bee in the back there, slutty Marie Antoinette over on the right and … slutty Slash? Oh, well played ma’am. This is the Halloween costume ensluttening equivalent of Dylan going electric.

By Jason Scavone

We could certainly play the part of ‘Geek,’ if she wants to swing by the office. (Photo by Jeff Mendoza)

Playboy’s model of the year and Beauty and the Geek star Jillian Beyor was at Rok Vegas inside New York-New York last night, splitting time between the newer club and LAX at Luxor, where Criss Angel and Tila Tequila wound up after the T&T opening earlier. Beyor must’ve known better than to show up at the opening and get Carrot Top all hot and bothered.

Also at LAX was pro wrestler Jeff Jarrett and Minnesota wrestler Bernard Berrian, getting a jump on the Vikings’ bye week. He’d just better be ready to go against the Texans next Sunday, as he’s a key piece of the official Fiasco fantasy football team.

By Jason Scavone

Needs more fire, more chainsaws. (Via myspace.com/jimrosecircus)

If you want to nab free tickets to the Most Interesting Show in the World (Really? More interesting than the Swing Shift Side Show’s vagina darts?) with Jim Rose and his stable of freaks, hit up SpyOnVegas.com.

Performers for tonight and tomorrow at Rok Vegas inside New York-New York include comic Mark “The Knife” Faje, singer Melody Sweets, cyborg dancer Kenichi, contortionist Lilia Stepanova and Beacher’s Madhouse staple Leonid the Magnificent. We appreciate anyone who uses the nickname “The Knife.”

By Jason Scavone

Is it is, or is she starting to look like Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford? (Photos by Hew Burney)

Heather Chadwell, who has now been on VH1 more than Richard Marx was in the ’80s, hosted at Rok Vegas Wednesday night along with local Playboy model Jesse Preston to launch Rock of Love: Charm School. We’re not sure about the whole Charm School concept as it takes what makes Rock of Love girls great — unrepentant skankiness — and then beats it out of them. We should take this the other way and get a bunch of repressed librarian girls to skank it up. Like a long-form “Hot for Teacher” video.

By Jason Scavone

Gratuitous, soapy boobs never hurt anyone. (Via myspace.com/hchadwell)

I Love Money, Rock of Love and now Rock of Love: Charm School VH1 reality All-Star Heather Chadwell hosts at Rok Vegas inside New York-New York tonight for a Charm School premiere party at 10:30 p.m. We’re pretty sure trashy VH1 reality shows and the Las Vegas nightlife industry are going to merge into a single, pulsing entity before 2015. And we can’t wait. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Her entire life is Margaritas and sunshine. Makes you a little sick, doesn’t it? (Photo by Hew Burney)

Wild On! host Cindy Taylor hosted at Rok Vegas inside New York-New York Friday night. The E! network stalwart has had a large bikini to fill with Brooke Burke’s tragic departure in 2002, but in the realm of “Hot broad vaguely reporting from beaches,” Taylor’s work has been superb.

By Jason Scavone