Exposing the painful tragedy of Labor Day Weekend. (Via myspace.com)

What better way to prepare yourself for a jam-packed three-day weekend than by bringing yourself down with emo act Hawthorne Heights? Seriously, this way everything else will seem all that much better afterwards, the way simple water tastes super sweet after you’ve just heaved up your 12th shot of Patron; or Andre the Giant seems especially tall if you’re standing next to him in a shallow pit. Or, you know, would, if he weren’t dead. To get your free ticket to the show with The Day After and Mickey Avalon at Rio’s Voodoo Beach, hit up SpyOnVegas.com. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Ray Alamo | SpyOnVegas.com)

Look, you have your Ultimate Fighting Championship, and we have ours.

By Jason Scavone

The 2008 convention of the National Alliance of Actresses Who Now Play Poker Almost Exclusively. (Photos by Erik Kabik)

Yesterday’s Ante Up for Africa celebrity poker tournament at the Rio drew a formidable lineup of celebs ready to hit the felt. Among those in attendance were Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Don Cheadle, George Lopez, Adam Sandler, Ray Romano, Charles Barkley, Shannon Elizabeth, Jennifer Tilly, Jason Alexander, Scott Ian and Jerry Cantrell.

We hope to reunite this exact cast when Bravo finally picks up our pitch for Celebrity Dodgeball Cagematch. It’s going to be ratings gold.

By Jason Scavone

The hangdog expression that only having your aces cracked on the river can create.

Don Cheadle, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck took some time to rest up before today’s celebrity charity tournament at the World Series of Poker inside the McFadden’s Irish Saloon room of the Ante Up for Africa suite at the Rio. We imagine Damon halfheartedly humored Affleck’s treatments for Good Will Hunting 2.

Also there were Celebrity Poker Showdown vet Mekhi Phifer enjoying a vodka/cranberry, general gambling vet Charles Barkley enjoying the same – but a triple, and Jerry Seinfeld luggage carrying vet Jason Alexander.

By Jason Scavone

Don’t let that sensitive Boogie Nights crap fool you. Don Cheadle will take all your money. (Photo by Erik Kabik)

Today at 2 p.m. the Rio brings in the big guns for the Second Annual Ante Up for Africa celebrity poker tournament as part of the 2008 World Series of Poker. Well, as big as you can get without getting world-famous actor and long-time terror of the felt Gabe Kaplan involved, anyway.

Created by Don Cheadle and poker pro Annie Duke, the tournament will benefit ENOUGH, which aims to help with trouble in Darfur, northern Uganda and the Democratic Republic of the Congo; and Not On Our Watch, founded by George Clooney, Don Cheadle, Matt Damon and Brad Pitt, which has adopted Darfur as its initial cause.

Expected to play in today’s tournament are Cheadle, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Adam Sandler, Ray Romano, Charles Barkley, Jason Kidd, Kevin Pollack, Cheryl Hines, George Lopez and Joe Trohman of Fall Out Boy. Poker pros Doyle Brunson, Phil Ivey, Daniel Negreanu, Howard Lederer, Chris Ferguson, Andy Bloch, Phil Hellmuth, Phil Laak, Erik Seidel, Phil Gordon, Rafe Furst, Barry Greenstein and others, subject to availability, will sit as well.

There’s a 45 percent chance of Ocean’s 14 accidentally being filmed during the course of the tournament.

By Jason Scavone

Never mess with the ride of a man covered in that much ink. (Via myspace.com/johnhuntington)

John Huntington — of Hart & Huntington fame — brings his One Night Stand touring rock ‘n’ roll party to VooDoo Lounge at the Rio tonight at 9, featuring DJ Danny Love, DJ L1 and Joey Mazzola, along with a Jlinsnider Runway Showing at midnight. This is completely different than that other one night stand you had at VooDoo. For options, keep reading. Events at 10 p.m. unless noted. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Sullivan Charles | SpyOnVegas.com)

… but just be careful you don’t catch any viral marketing.

By Jason Scavone

These guys HATE secondary colors. (Via myspace.com)

The Presidents of the United States of America — that’s right, all of them, except that lazy ne’er-do-well Harrison — take the stage tonight at Rio’s VooDoo Beach for a free poolside concert. Doors open at 6 p.m. for the SpyOnVegas.com Open Bar, and the show starts when the free hooch stops at 9 p.m.

PotUSA, you’ll remember, is that band that put out an album with “Lump” and “Kitty” in ‘95, then released five other albums over the next 12 years that you haven’t heard.

After the show, the official PotUSA afterparty is on the roof at VooDoo Lounge.

By Jason Scavone

Not quite as awesome as Fan Man.

Red Bull pulled out all the stops this weekend for the launch of Red Bull Cola, including a parachute fly-by of Voodoo Lounge atop Rio Sunday night by Jon Devore and Charles Bryan. Bryan is a six-time X Games gold medalist, and the pair or members of the Red Bull Air Force. You know who else was in the Red Bull Air Force? Anthony Edwards. At least he was until some hot-dogging pilots couldn’t stay out of a spin and it led to his tragic death due to an ejector malfunction.

Skateboarders Ryan Sheckler and Jereme Rogers were doing their promotional duties Friday night at Hollywood Skatepark (1650 S. Hollywood Blvd.), where they endured a rain delay with 1,100 fans before putting on a demonstration. You know who else is a top rider? Anthony Edwards, who — wait, no, we’re thinking of Christian Slater in Gleaming the Cube. Nevermind.

By Jason Scavone

Curtis Armstrong, the guy who played Booger, is now an expert on the music of Harry Nilsson. Talk about walking the nerd walk.

McFadden’s inside the Rio celebrates no more classes, no more books and certainly no more teacher’s dirty looks with its Naughty and Nerdy School’s Out Bash. Girls dolled up like schoolgirls and guys dressed up like members of the A/V Club can enter to win a three-day cruise along the Mexican Riviera. Guys dressed like naughty schoolgirls, however, aren’t eligible. We’re sure you can find some other time to wear that plaid skirt. Did you lose your suspenders and/or fishnets? Explore your options at 10 p.m., unless noted. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone