It’s a rare instance of Pauly D not pointing to the camera. (Photos by Joe Fury)

DJ Pauly D: A man of appetites not just for hair gel and questionable hookups, but for actual food too.

Before starting his Palms residency with a set at Ghostbar Friday night, the Jersey Shore started with a 12-ounce filet at N9NE Steakhouse and then went upstairs to Nove Italiano for a second meal with five others. Wait. So there’s an Italian guy who likes to eat? Interesting. We’ll investigate this further in The Chronicles of Young Paul Sorvino.

After Nove Italiano, Pauly D and his party made their way upstairs to Playboy Club where he was presented with a coveted Playboy Club key. Then it was off to Ghostbar for his set, and then to see DJ Jazzy Jeff at Rain around 2:30 a.m. And the DJ who started off as a novelty act is entertaining the DJ who’s essentially a novelty act. It’s the circle of life.

After all of that, Pauly D still had time for Drai’s After Hours where he and some friends camped out in the library, while Robert Kardashian followed up on his Jet appearance with the Drai’s VIP Room.

By Jason Scavone

NOT PICTURED: Vikings. (Photo by Shane O’Neal)

The Playboy Club did it up right Sunday night for its Miss Playboy Club March. We’re never going to fault anyone for choosing dark, exotic-looking girls for anything. Unless maybe it was to play the love interest in a Viking movie. Probably wouldn’t work there. Although we have confidence in Hollywood movie magic to pull it off.

Meanwhile, Miles Austin of the Dallas Cowboys was at N9NE Steakhouse with a group of six. He signed some helmets and jerseys for the staff. Probably inscribing them to all the Cowboys fans, “Hey, we’re just as terrified of Tony Romo in big games as you are — Miles.”

Bears quarterback Jay Cutler was there and signing autographs too. “Could be worse, I could be Romo — Jay.”

By Jason Scavone

What? Not one drapey top among the bunch? (Photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

JWoww — Jenni Farley of Jersey Shore celebrated her 25th birthday Saturday night, while her boobs celebrated their third. Regardless, there was cake enough for everyone celebrating a birthday, just like at the McDonald’s Playland. Except in this case, crawling through the ball pit meant something entirely different.

JWoww brought her boyfriend Tom Lippolis and eight others to dinner at Nove Italiano inside the Palms where Chef Geno Bernando brought out Obligatory Celebrity Cake No. 1. She and Lippolis had taken Bernando’s cooking class earlier in the day.

After dinner, JWoww and her father both got keys to the Playboy Club, which they must apparently keep in a fishbowl by the elevator now, the way they hand those things out. After that, the whole group went up to Moon to party until around 1:30 (with another cake), when JWoww and friends moved it downstairs to Rain to listen to Junkie XL.

Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer were plotting how to extract $300 million from the American public summer 2011 during dinner at N9NE Steakhouse, while the Jets’ Dustin Keller, MMA fighter Chuck Liddell and Pete Rose all had their own, far less insidious (except for Pete, we mean) things going on. Jay Cutler of the Bears started at Playboy Club then moved up to Moon.

By Jason Scavone

Way better than Miss America, as it includes the possibility of nudity. (Photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

February was a good month for Meghan Beck. The Miss Playboy Club of February 2009 was named Miss Playboy Club of the Year on February Eve Sunday night when former Girl Next Door Bridget Marquardt was on hand to crown Beck.

Each of the monthly winners from 2009 were there, plus Marquardt’s boyfriend, Nick Carter, who looks like Henri from Cheers, who was going to steal Woody’s girlfriend. That would make Hef the Woody Harrelson in this metaphor, which means if Woody can find a way to equate himself with Bob Guccione, he’ll hit for the porn cycle.

By Jason Scavone

Seriously, this could slot in on VH1 just fine. (Photo by Cody Boor)

In 1992 it was The Real World. In 1997 it was Survivor. In 2010, Jersey Shore. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the the next great leap forward in reality television: Top and the Dog.

Or, at least, it would be in the fantasy utopia we’ve constructed in our mind. There would also be Snooki teaching English as a Second Language. Anyway, Duane Chapman and his wife, Beth, were at Vanity inside the Hard Rock Hotel Sunday night, where they were hanging out with Carrot Top. The Chapmans were also spotted at Playboy Club and Moon at the Palms, which leads us to believe that someone who kept moving from Moon to Playboy to Vanity was about to get tased and dragged back to Hawaii.

By Jason Scavone

Between you and your brother, who would you say is the more Gossy? (Photo by Joe Fury)

Matt Goss celebrated the end of the run for Matt Goss Live with a trip to the Playboy Club, where they showed a video from his final performance to a photo-and-autograph seeking crowd. They’re anticipating that with the departure, however temporary, of Goss from the stage, that in the post-recession Gossy economy, Goss paraphernalia will skyrocket in value. It’s a sound Gossy investment strategy.

White Sox hurler Jake Peavy was at N9NE Steakhouse, as were the Bengals’ Carson Palmer and TJ Houshmandzadeh. Chef Barry Dakake sent out a few desserts for the party of four, but they inexplicably took it easy on dessert, fearing that next week they’d have to take on a different, but not necessarily better dessert. It’s going to end in tragexy when Carson Palmer is crushed by a giant piece of cheesecake and Darrell Revis takes Houshmandzadeh’s brownies.

Palmer and Houshmandzadeh went upstairs to Ghostbar later on with eight friends, joking about how a giant piece of cheesecake would be an easy matchup.

UFC president Dana White, who also had dinner at N9NE, was spotted later in the evening at Wasted Space inside the Hard Rock Hotel. Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf were hanging out in the HRH Tower.

By Jason Scavone

Porn stars or future members of Jersey Shore 2? Thin line, inn’it? (Photo by Shane O’Neal)

Everywhere you turned last night, you were tripping over porn stars, like the deepest, most awesome dream of a 14-year-old prep school kid whose favorite movies are Pirates 2 and Weird Science. Moon at the Palms was no exception, with the launch of the Wicked Pictures calendar hosted by Kirsten Price, Alektra Blue, Jessica Drake, Mikayla Mendez, Stormy Daniels and Kaylani Lei.

Over at Playboy Club, the Playboy Radio party snared Christy Canyon, Nicky Hunter, Taylor Wayne, AnnMarie Rios and Kylie Ireland while Interscope chairman Jimmy Iovine watched on from a nearby table with eight others.

Whitney Port, David Caruso, Dave Navarro and Danny Masterson were all at N9NE Steakhouse at separate tables. Navarro is of course, here for the AVN Awards, where shirtlessness is a virtue. Also not surprisingly in town for AEE weekend was questionable human being and Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis at the Hard Rock’s HRH Tower, where David Spade was also staying. Scoping the new casino floor space were Carey Hart and Pink, while Mario Lopez hit the gym at Reliquary.

By Jason Scavone

Now if only he had a referee to yell at.

Goofball billionaire Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, hung out at Playboy Club’s Bunny Bar last night knocking back a beer. It’s the best of both worlds for Cuban. Fellow NBA owners run the Palms, and the entrepreneur made his initial killing selling Broadcast.com to Yahoo! so he’s probably going to mingle with all his nerd buddies during CES. All his rich, rich nerd buddies. Hey, does anyone need a nerd assistant? We can handle things like keeping your PS3 warmed up and read all the comic books you don’t have time for. Trust us, we’re totally qualified on both counts, and we’re available for like, less than a billion in Yahoo stock.

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Denise Truscello. Additional photos by Shane O’Neal, Gennie Larson.)

Sirius Radio’s Playboy Morning Show host Andrea Lowell married James Kim on Wednesday, with a wedding dinner at Simon and a party at the Playboy Club. That’s just cold, to make a newly-married guy go hang out at the Playboy Club and pose for pictures with bunnies. That’s like taking someone out of a prisoner of war camp, feeding him a big buffet and then make him hang around a bunch of steaks.

Over at N9NE Steakhouse, UFC head Dana White had dinner with Shane Victorino of the Phillies just a few nights after they were hanging out at the Playboy Club. Tuesday night at N9NE, Tampa Bay third baseman Evan Longoria had dinner with a group of 10 that moved up to Moon later in the evening. Who was there to greet him? Dana White, who was with Ultimate Fighter Season 1 winner Diego Sanchez. We’re telling you, either Dana White has his eye on Bud Selig’s job or he’s bringing in a bunch of baseball players to fight. We’re pretty sure Canseco is available.

Activist and actor Ed Begley Jr. was at last night’s Blue Man Group inside The Venetian, while American Idol Season 8 winner Kris Allen brought his band and wife, Katy, to the 9:30 show of Love. He did a set next door at the B.B. King Blues Club after. On Monday, Babyface checked out Mystere and hit Believe on Tuesday.

By Jason Scavone

At the very least make some doves fly out of that Bunny costume. (Photo by Shane O’Neal. Additional photos by O’Neal, Joe Fury)

All of the 2009 Miss Playboy Club positions may be filled, but that just means it’s time to get it going again for shiny new 2010. Illusionist Steve Wyrick was on hand Sunday night to name local girl Shannon Kelly the club’s Miss January 2010. He could’ve at least sawed her in half, too. What’s the point of bringing an illusionist around if you’re not going to have him saw anyone in half? If we were an illusionist, we’d carry that box and a few saws around everywhere. Just in case. In fact, who wants to put us through magician college so we can become the most annoying guest at your parties. “So, that Alicia Keyes/Jay-Z song sure is good?” “Right, but you know what sounds really good. The sweet, sweet sound of a clean saw blade slicing through a fresh box. If you’ll look, you’ll see that this box is perfectly sturdy and untampere– hey? Where’s everyone going?”

By Jason Scavone