Is Jenny McCarthy wearing a Michael Myers mask when she tans now? How is her face that pale? (Photo by Denise Truscello)

Jenny McCarthy was over at Palms Place this afternoon getting in a little crucial, Jim Carrey-free bikini time in her cabana. It’s got to be nice to finally get some free time where you’re not constantly being bombarded with stories about the set of Dumb & Dumber.

Last night, Phantom handed out more than 1,800 masks to audience members at the Venetian to celebrate the show’s fourth anniversary and, presumably, give Andrew Lloyd Weber nightmares. The masks are cool and all, but let’s see them hand out 1,800 pipe organs. After the show cast members went into the audience to hand out commemorative versions of the mask to the crowd.

Over at Tao, Kevin Jonas’ blushing bride, Danielle, was having dinner with her sister and a group of friends celebrating a bacherlorette party. Ain’t no bachelorette party like a Jonas Brothers bachelorette party, because a Jonas Brothers bachelorette party don’t stop.

Finally, Derek Fisher and his wife, Candace, got to Encore Beach Club around 11:30 last night for Dip and Dance and stayed until around 2:30 a.m. We’re surprised Kobe’s wife didn’t crash the party and try to hog the cabana all for herself.

By Jason Scavone

We can’t promise he won’t be wearing the wig. (Photo by Denise Truscello)

Fresh off the Puscifer tour, Maynard James Keenan is back in Vegas for a bottle signing of his wines from Caduceus Cellars, Merkin Vineyard and Arizona Stronghold Wednesday at the Town Square Whole Foods from 5 to 8 p.m.

First, though, Simon at Palms Place is doing a wine pairing dinner tonight with Stronghold’s Tazi, Mangus and Nachise, plus Merkin’s Chupacabra. The 7 p.m. dinner is $85 and includes a $20 gift card to Whole Foods, plus line-cutting privileges at the signing on Wednesday.

Chef Kerry Simon even donned overalls for the Puscifer show when he brought cotton candy out on stage for the band. That’s how you know you’ve arrived: When you can talk people into getting into costume to bring you food. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to persuade our minions to put on slutty Mrs. Claus outfits and deliver us candy canes and egg nog. All in the spirit of the season, of course. (First step: Finding minions. Applications now being accepted.)

By Jason Scavone

This is what Shaq sees when he looks at photos of himself and Kobe. (Photo by Ana Dobrijevic)

Shaq and Oscar De La Hoya were filming at Simon for a show Shaq is doing for ABC called Shaq Vs.. Presumably this is going to be about Shaquille O’Neal taking on reasonably mundane jobs, because he went back to the kitchen with Kerry Simon to make a burger. It would be a lot better if it was Shaq vs. Kerry Simon in one-on-one. Or even better, things we’d actually like to see Shaq take on. Like Shaq vs. A Horse. (In free throws. We like the horse.) Or Shaq vs. Batman. (In crime fighting. We like Shaq.) Or Shaq vs. Giant Robots. (Actually, we all win in that one.)

Yesterday at Simon, Joe “Let’s not rush into this burying-my-son thing” Jackson had brunch. Holly Madison was there, too, as was Benji Madden.

By Jason Scavone

That’s it. We’re going to start rocking the ’70s yachtman look.

Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt were all on hand to help Hugh Hefner mark 83 years of being fascinated with boobs. Einstein had physics, Hef has something way, way better than physics; but either way, a life’s work is a life’s work. Hef’s three former girlfriends were at the Palms Place pool Saturday afternoon while he was there with the new ladies, Crystal Harris and Karissa and Kristina Shannon to tape for Girls Next Door.

Later that night, they had dinner at N9NE Steakhouse before heading up to the Playboy Club where George Maloof had everyone serenade Hef. Marquardt doubled down on the “Happy Birthday” when she sang it to him Marilyn Monroe-style. Last year, Pam Anderson was on surprise “Happy Birthday” duty, although Marquardt declined to do it in the buff like Anderson (unfortunately) did.

Wilkinson brought along boyfriend Hank Baskett, while Eva Longoria was at N9NE and running back Clinton Portis was at the head of a group of 14. Both Longoria and Portis made it up to Playboy Club, where Jamie Foxx also was spotted. Playmates Alison Waite, Hiromi Oshima and Janine Habek all did double duty at Playboy and Rain.

By Jason Scavone

NASCAR we could kind of see, but Butkus? Our world is rocked.

NASCAR driver Rusty Wallace and Chicago Bears legend Dick Butkus were at Primp Salon inside Palms Place yesterday for a manicure/pedicure and a haircut, respectively. Wallace drank chardonnay during his session. What the holy hell is going on? This is Dick Butkus. He used to make wide receivers cry just by looking at them. We had been pretty sure he wasn’t allowed within 100 yards of anyplace that did pedicures, by court order. Someone needs to roust the angry ghost of Lee Marvin and put an end to this.

By Jason Scavone

Churchill fought the Nazis so one day England could be a world player in the reality TV game. (Photo by Denise Truscello)

Brit singer Peter Andre and wife Katie Price (known by her nom de model, Jordan) had dinner at Simon inside Palms Place last night. They’re filming the sixth season of their reality show Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter Stateside, doing shots at the restaurant and in a sky villa at the Fantasy Tower.

Katie & Peter is a big hit in the United Kingdom, so it’s a good thing they’re over here to get some rare reality TV footage in these here United States. We should send Omarosa to go crash their show wearing an Uncle Sam hat and a shirt that says “Courtesy of the U.S. of A.” Just to remind the Brits who’s boss. We don’t want them getting cocky and trying to pull any of that War of 1812 crap again.

By Jason Scavone

Michael Phelps does love him some surgery-related jewelry. (Photo by Alex Loc Thieu)

Jewelry line Skeletal Metal — which fashions rings, necklaces, earrings and bracelets based on reconstructive plates used to mend broken bones — holds its launch party just in time to cash in on maximum Halloween-induced creepiness tonight at Simon at Palms Place.

Swimmer Michael Phelps will be at the pool-side restaurant, as will UFC light heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin, gold-winning Olympic swimmer Eric Vendt, volleyball silver medalists Stacy Sykora and Nicole Davis, soccer player Abby Wambach, beach volleyball’s Nicole Branagh and volleyball gold medalist Rich Lambourne along with Reed Johnson of the Chicago Cubs, Skeletal Metal founder Dr. Michael Crovetti, and partners Marty Cordova, formerly of the Minnesota Twins and Anthony Bonifazio.

If you’re lucky, maybe Phelps will break a bone just for you, so you can get your very own unique piece of jewelry. Ask him nicely — we’re sure it’ll be fine.

By Jason Scavone

Bass says bye, bye, bye to pasty skin.

Lance Bass — everybody’s favorite boy band cosmonaut — was at Sunset Tan inside Palms Place yesterday for a custom airbrush job. He was there with Dancing with the Stars partner Lacey Schwimmer. Michael Phelps-dater and Director of Mobile Operations Amber Peterson was also there. Now he can get back to the important work of his long-running personal space race with O-Town’s Dan Miller, who recently made significant strides in his partnership with the European Space Agency.

Later in the evening, Bass dined with friends at Lavo inside The Palazzo. He moved upstairs to the club after dinner.

By Jason Scavone

Not pictured: The tail that Michael Phelps has instead of legs.

One more bit of Michael Phelps-related news: The swimmer got himself a custom airbrush job at Sunset Tan inside Palms Place Friday night prior to his dinner at N9NE Steakhouse. Look, the man spends most of his time soaking in a puddle of chlorine indoors. It’s a wonder he doesn’t look like Gollum. Included in his gang of 44 for dinner was Sunset Tan’s Director of Mobile Operations, Amber Peterson.

By Jason Scavone

Maybe he’s looking for property around here or something. (Photo by Ray Alamo | SpyOnVegas.com)

So, Jamie Foxx is still in town, huh? A week after he was working the mic at the Palms Place pool, last night Foxx was — working the mic at the Palms Place pool during the Addicted to Quack party. We hope someone’s picking up his mail for him at home.

For the full breakdown in pictures, check out SpyOnVegas.com.

By Jason Scavone