One of these men could be the last DJ you see in 2009.

Planning is for chumps. Which explains why everyone got crap from Things Remembered when you got desperate at the mall around 4:30 on Dec. 24. And it also explains why you have no plans at around 4 p.m. for the last eight hours of New Year’s Eve. So if you want to brush up on what to do, like check out Tiesto at Haze or Z-Trip at Moon, hit up our rundown of all the clubs, bars, celebrities, music and dining available to you tonight. And then try to cram it all in. You’d better get cracking.

By Jason Scavone

Party headquarters, obviously.

Finally, for those of you looking for the more get-straight-to-the-point-by-which-we-mean-drinking New Year’s Eve experience, there’s a plethora of bar and miscellaneous options for no-frills revelry. Mandalay Bay is going the inclusive route with their Block Party, which goes down along Restaurant Row, with StripSteak serving as headquarters. A $30 pass gets you entry into drawings, drink specials and one sponsored drink at each of Mizuya, THELounge, the Race & Sports Bar, Orchid Lounge and RM Seafood. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Something new for New Year’s.

Four new spots make their debut (well, discounting soft openings, private events and plans-for-later-bigger-grand-opening situations, anyway) on New Year’s Eve. Rock bar Smokin’ Hot Aces at The Venetian is one, and Eva Longoria Parker’s Eve, above Beso at Crystals is another. But it’s Haze at Aria and Vanity at the Hard Rock Hotel which figure prominently into clubland. The former brings in DJ Tiesto at $350 a ticket, while the latter has DJ Vice, with an open bar from 9 p.m. to midnight for $200. It’s going on in conjunction with the closing of Body English (which will re-open as an afterhours joint later in ’10), with DJ Eric Cubeechee, open bar all night and a very special party favor for the customer with the highest tab — the crystal chandelier hanging over the room — for $150. Better have the U-Haul hotline ready in your phone if you plan on high-rolling it. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

For those who can’t close out 2009 without getting a little extra gelee.

If you’re going to go all foodie on us and go for the big, blow-out meal on New Year’s Eve, you may as well go for broke. Guy Savoy at Caesars Palace has two prix fixe menus available for the gourmand set. The rest of us get Domino’s. And not any of that fancy new stuff that’s supposed to taste 30 percent more like actual pizza, either. First up from Guy Savoy is the $240 Menu Elegance, with marinated lobster salad and gelée of summer herbs; crispy sea bass with delicate spices; artichoke and black truffle soup served with toasted mushroom brioche and black truffle butter; poached-roasted baby chicken; couscous of cauliflower; spinach puree and mustard jus; and fruit and chocolate. Or, go for broke with the $390 Menu Prestige: Oysters en gelée; marinated lobster salad and gelée of summer herbs; colors of caviar; crispy sea bass with delicate spices; foie-gras en papillotte and radish bouillon; artichoke and black truffle soup served with toasted mushroom brioche and black truffle butter; roasted veal chop, black truffle potato purée, young vegetables braised in veal jus; selection de fromages affinés; coconut and chocolate fondant, crunchy praline and chicory cream. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

She’s bringing M.I.A. onto her new album. We hope just to make gunfingers during the videos. (Photos by Denise Truscello)

This year’s celebrity haul for New Year’s Eve is pretty paltry. If partying with the glitterati is your thing, your options are limited to start 2010. Christina Aguilera is the biggest name, hosting at Tao. She also commands the biggest cover of this year’s celeb-events at $250, which includes an open bar from 9 to 11 p.m., hors d’oeuvres and a midnight Champagne toast. DJ Five handles the turntables. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Really, we just wanted a reason to put up a picture with Rihanna in it.

Has anything good happened in ’09? Anything at all? Other than the Yankees winning the World Series, we mean. Trainwreck economy, pop-star icons dropping dead (We’ll mourn ya till we join ya, Swayze) and now even underpants are capable of knocking a 757 out of the sky. You can begin the long, slow process of drinking enough to black out the whole crap year with a few tunes. Maroon 5 headlines at The Pearl, along with opening act and baring-his-dong-enthusiast Jason Segel for $125, $150 or $200. Or, choose from a stone-cold plethora of other shows. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Sparkly. (Photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Now that another page is mercifully off the calendar and we’re all one step closer to the sweet, sweet release of death, it’s time to sit back and contemplate, “Wait. What the hell actually happened the other night?” Truth be told, no one will ever know unless your friends are dicks and have already started putting the pictures up on Facebook. But hey, in that light, you’re right. That dude totally looked like a chick. So anyway, here are some fireworks.

By Jason Scavone

That’s what merriment looks like, right there.

If you’re still undecided about what you want to do tonight (nice going, procrastinators), we already told you about all that. Remember? The concerts, the celebs and the rest. So we’re not going to go over it all again. It’s time you started this new year on the right foot, with a little self-reliance. We think that should be your resolution anyway, so get to it.

On that note, we’ll see you on the other side. Of 2009, we mean. Not death. We hope. That would kind of suck. So stay safe. Ish. We’ll cut you some slack on the liver abuse.

By Jason Scavone

Paul Oakenfold loves the locals.

It’s the New Year’s Eve spectacular so big just that not even two days’ worth of posting can contain it. We brought you the concerts, and we brought you the celebrities. Now it’s time to dive into all the rest. Like Paul Oakenfold doing a special edition of Perfecto at Rain inside the Palms with warm-up sets by Liquid Todd and The Funkler. Every New Year’s Eve party could use a little enfunklening, right? Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Wild Kardashians, seen here in their natural habitat.

Continuing on with our compilation of every New Year’s Eve event, ever (we’ve got some killer stuff about the party at the Roman Colosseum in 1399) today we bring you the celebrity appearances that can turn your dull, drab drunken blackout into a bright, shiny drunken blackout with certified tabloid fodder. Like, for example, the Kardashian sisters — Kim, Khloe and Kourtney — who will host at LAX inside Luxor. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone