Is that Bedazzled mic lifted from the Monte Carlo? (Photo by Erik Kabik. Additional photos by Kabik, Scott Harrison | Retna)

Mariah Carey did the final show of The Angels Advocate Tour at the Colosseum inside Caesars Palace Saturday night. She took off to go to her afterparty at Haze inside Aria, where Ciara was doing her one-two step inside the club. She was … active on stage floor too. Hit up SpyOn to scope Mariah and Ciara’s evening.

Husband Nick Cannon, meanwhile, was over at Vanity inside the Hard Rock Hotel where he was joined by Carey’s opening act, RydazNrtisT. Cannon jumped in the DJ booth to spell Clinton Sparks for an hour. One of the Rydaz pulled out a camera and told anyone who wanted to be in their video to “get closer and shake their sexy bodies,” then jumped on stage to do a couple songs.

By Jason Scavone

Does that mean Mimi has to officiate the ceremony? (Photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Mariah Carey was back for her second weekend at The Pearl inside the Palms — which just happened to coincide with husband Nick Cannon’s birthday weekend. And what sort of birthday treat does he get? He gets to — wait for it — dance next to the soundboard! Man, that is so much better than a cake shaped like a race car and some sweet new Nintendo games.

During the show, one gentleman went on stage to propose to his boyfriend during the show, which we guess is the equivalent of putting your proposal on the scoreboard at Dodgers Stadium. Except with significantly less chance of accidentally having your moment interrupted by a Manny Ramirez foul ball.

After Saturday’s show they went to The Bank at Bellagio to celebrate Cannon’s birthday. He still totally didn’t get the race car cake there either. What a gyp.

By Jason Scavone

It’s like the set was designed by a 9-year-old who owned every Barbie ever. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

We can’t take it anymore. Every time we’re convinced, absolutely convinced, that Mariah Carey looks boring or old or Eminem-y, she comes out looking like this and then we have to think she’s hot again. Until the next time she decides to slap on a fake goatee and dress like a 1940s doorman.

Carey did two shows at The Pearl inside the Palms this weekend and she’s back for another two Oct. 9 and 10. We certainly hope she’ll be reprising her “Princess With Giant Boobs” costume. (Actually, that could be a “Ballerina With Giant Boobs” costume. We need to consult some kind of expert.)

By Jason Scavone

She’s bestowing the gift of glitter. (Photos by Denise Truscello)

Mariah Carey is doing a limited engagement at The Pearl inside the Palms starting Friday night, and she was rehearsing the show inside the friendly confines of the music venue earlier in the week. Shows are set for Friday and Saturday, and again Oct. 9 and 10. Tickets start at $129, with this being the smallest venue Carey has played. We haven’t seen what the over/under is yet on Nick Cannon DJ Sets for the four nights she’s in town but we’re assuming it’ll stand at at least six.

Maybe she’ll really like doing smaller venues and you can see her doing after-concert shows at Divebar. It would certainly raise our level of respect for Mimi.

By Jason Scavone

In the most cloying, twee way possible. (Photos by Bill Boatman)

It was a year of wedded freaking bliss for Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey last night when they started with dinner for 50 at Simon inside Palms Place. The table had candles set up and a “Happy Anniversary” sign. Then they went up to Moon where Cannon surprised his blushing bride with a video montage of moments from their first year together while 1,000 balloons were released into the air through the open roof at the club. He even made her cry. Why can’t these two take a lesson from Kelis and Nas and recognize that marriage is an institution reserved strictly for regret, suffering and babies born so-close-but-not-quite into wedlock?

Something ain’t right here. He’s trying way too hard, and Mariah is way too crazy. Ashton Kutcher has this exact same relationship with his wife, and everyone’s pretty sure he’s secretly gay. Why doesn’t Cannon come under that same cloud of suspicion? All we know is when those two are hooking up on some island in the Mediterranean, you heard it here first. Also there for Cannon’s DJ set were Antonio Reid, Steve Bartles, Tyrese Gibson, Sanaa Lathan and Floyd Mayweather.

By Jason Scavone

We’re pretty sure they moved here and we didn’t hear about it. (Photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Andre Agassi held his 13th annual Grand Slam for Children charity event at Wynn Las Vegas on Saturday, bringing out Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, who are not only insufferably happy, but are doing charity work too. So, once again we bitterly say: Screw those guys. Seriously. Also turning out for the benefit were David Spade, Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, Natasha Bedingfield, Emeril Lagasse, Rod Stewart, Lifehouse and The Killers.

By Jason Scavone

Exhibit A for our argument that they’re using their joy to shame us all. (Photo by Erik Kabik | Retna)

Mariah Carey led the charge for husband Nick Cannon’s birthday last night at Pure inside Caesars Palace. The couple, which we’ve firmly established is a threat to this country’s very stability, took over a table next to the DJ booth while Cannon spun. The duo arrived just after midnight with a group that included Cannon’s mother and friends. Around 3 a.m., he mixed together a few Carey songs including “Fantasy,” “It’s Like That” and “I’ll Be Lovin’ U Long Time.” Now that the event is wrapped, we expect city elders to hustle Carey, Cannon and their damnable syrupy happiness right the hell out of town.

By Jason Scavone

She’ll be having a vision of cake at this party. (Photo by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Mariah Carey’s still hanging out in town, sandwiching in a video shoot at The Bank in between hosting gigs, which culminates tonight at Pure inside Caesars Palace. Tonight she’s leading the charge for husband Nick Cannon’s birthday in another irritating super-couple move.

Cannon doesn’t even get to just hang out at his own birthday party; he’ll be pressed into service at the DJ booth where he’ll spin for the crowd. Go ahead and play one of your own tunes, Nick. It’s your birthday. It’s cool with us.

By Jason Scavone

Nick Cannon’s music box. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

WiseGirls star Mariah Carey brought along Nick Cannon to The Bank inside Bellagio on Saturday night for her hosting gig. Mimi was doing a little advance scouting, too — they were shooting the video for her single “I Stay in Love” yesterday, directed by Cannon.

They’ve reached the “annoyingly happy” stage of couple-dom, right? We’re going to give you the go ahead to start resenting them for their joy. You’re welcome.

The obnoxiously thrilled duo (seriously, screw those guys) started the night off with dinner at Yellowtail along with six friends. Executive Chef Akira back personally welcomed Carey, who remembered him from his days at Nobu in Aspen, Colo.

By Jason Scavone

Would you or wouldn’t you? That is the question.

Perhaps no celeb has been as divisive in fueling “Is she or isn’t she hot?” debates as Mariah Carey. No less an authority as Derek Jeter is in the former camp, though it remains entirely possible he gave her herpes. Or vice versa.

Regardless, Carey hosts The Bank inside Bellagio tomorrow night, where she’s likely to perform her new tune, “Touch My Body (But Only If You’re Nick Cannon).” See? You thought we would go for the cheap Glitter hit, but we’re totally above that.

By Jason Scavone