We’re weeping tears of pure awesome right now.

There are three things in the world that are indisputably awesome:

• Monkeys.
• Batman.
• Giant fire-breathing robot dinosaurs rampaging down the Strip with showgirls riding its legs.

Well, ain’t no Batman or monkeys around, Chester. Robosaurus, the 40-foot tall, 6,000-pound, car-lifting, marauding monster that threatened to shake the city to its very core (or, you know, parade peacefully on the Strip), came out to play to herald the start of the Barrett-Jackson automobile auction at Mandalay Bay. It’s invite-only for this evening’s party, but it kicks off in earnest tomorrow and runs through Saturday.

By Jason Scavone

If someone can find us that Cosby-esque sweater, we will never, ever take it off. (Via myspace.com/newkidsontheblock)

The New Kids on the Block, or NKOTB, or whatever they insist on being called these days are back together, much to the delight of everyone’s inner 13-year-old-girl-in-1990. Jonathan, Jordan, Danny, Donnie and Joey take the stage tomorrow night at the Mandalay Bay Events Center at 8 p.m. with guests Lady GaGa and Natasha Bedingfield. Of course, as with every NKOTB show since early 1985, Cranston “Buckle Legs” Oppenheimer, long identified as the fabled “Sixth New Kid’ will not be welcome on stage.

After the show, LAX at Luxor has the official afterparty, if, for example, you’ve been stalking Donnie since 1989 and have never been able to get close enough to snip off a lock of his hair. We know how you roll, boy-band girls.

By Jason Scavone

In the finest tradition of Dethklok, get ready to enjoy Cookie Monster vocals. (Via Opeth.com)

Swedish prog/death metal outfit Opeth headlines at the House of Blues inside Mandalay Bay tonight with guests High on Fire and Baroness. We were hoping Baroness would be an all-G.I. Joe tribute band, but as usual with such matters, we’re sadly mistaken. This is just like that time we went to see White Lion thinking it would have something to do with the Thundercats. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Turd Ferguson himself.

Norm MacDonald is one of four comedy shows you could go see tonight, but why bother with the others when you could go to the one who can out-Reynolds Reynolds? Fellow SNL alum Dana Carvey is at The Orleans Showroom at 8 p.m., Chelsea Handler plays The Pearl at the Palms at 8 p.m. and Kevin James and Ray Romano are at the Danny Gans Theater in The Mirage at 10 p.m. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Under no circumstances should you chase this drink with a Coke.

Oh, there’s a party in your mouth. Would you like to guess who’s invited? If you said “everyone” you may be correct. And you’ll probably need more dip. Regardless, the Shock and Awe at Fleur de Lys takes cocktails to their logical conclusion by introducing the ingredient that’s been missing for decades: fizzing candy.

Starting with muddled strawberries, Kai lychee vodka and fresh lemon juice is shaken together and strained into a cocktail glass rimmed with Pop Rocks for a frothy, pulpy, pale pink libation. Mikey from the Life commercials, beware.

Concocted by Assistant General Manager Theo Rosenblatt, the Shock and Awe stemmed from a well-timed bout of cleaning. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Making us laugh at assistant crack whores all over again.

A lot of professionals will describe Norm MacDonald as a “comedian’s comedian.” What that means is that a guy is far too smart for the public to get him. Don’t front, either. We know Jeff Dunham’s puppet shows keep getting voted Comedy Central’s top stand-up special year after year.

In MacDonald’s case, sometimes the jokes get lost on all the wrong targets — like when NBC suit Don Ohlmeyer famously sided with a certain double-murderer over MacDonald and his relentless barrage of O.J. jokes on Weekend Update and got him booted from the gig even though Chevy Chase himself is reputed to have said Norm was the only other guy to get it right. Not that these kinds of things seem to bother MacDonald. In fact, nothing seems to bother him. Bone-dry and bemused seem to be more than just the cornerstones of his act — they seem to be a way of life.

He went on from Saturday Night Live (where he did what may be the greatest sketch in the show’s history) to do Dirty Work, A Minute With Stan Hooper and The Norm Show. His fans border on the obsessed, leaving a wealth of Norm-related media around the internet.

MacDonald is at the House of Blues inside Mandalay Bay at 8 p.m. We caught up to talk about the Juice, the roast and Henny Youngman’s material on the economy. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

For our money, the best James Earl Jones-voiced cartoon since Cinderella.

With Mamma Mia! wrapping up its run at Mandalay Bay Jan. 4, the ABBA-shaped hole in your heart will be filled with Disney.

The Lion King is set to open May 2, joining the roster of productions already going on in New York, London, Hamburg, Paris, Tokyo and Fukuoka. In a move sure to please fans worldwide, the Las Vegas production of The Lion King will feature 100 percent less Whoopi Goldberg than the film.

By Jason Scavone

Hail to the frozen King, baby.

Oh what a difference a week makes. When last we checked in on Minus 5 the ice was still being put into place and the front entry was still under construction. Now it’s opening day, and everything’s ready to go — including the giant ice sculpture of Elvis. Really, though, shouldn’t everything have a giant ice sculpture of Elvis?

Past the register — where you can order up the basic $30 package for half an hour in the ice lounge and one cocktail all the way up to a $100 VIP setup where you get to keep your own Eskimo hat — you pick up your Minus 5 parka, boots and hat. Inside the antechamber, mittens are doled out like your mom is getting you ready for the bus stop in January. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

After three, you won’t notice your fingers are frozen to the glass.

In the antechamber before you go into the ice lounge at Minus 5 inside Mandalay Bay, there are row after row of mittens hanging off pegs. Trust us: Take them.

It’s not like it’s so cold in there you’ll have to kick a penguin — though you less-hardy folks who didn’t grow up where they have, you know, winter, might be in for a shock. It’s just that the glasses are made of ice. You ever hang on to a fistful of ice cubes for 20 minutes? No? Didn’t think so.

In fact, special mats are laid out on the surfaces inside the ice lounge so your glass won’t freeze to the ice when you set it down. Nothing’s more embarrassing than going to retrieve your cocktail and pulling off half the decor with it. If our time drinking in the Krazy Glue Lounge taught us nothing else, it was that. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Whiny hard rock outfit Trapt headlines the House of Blues inside Mandalay Bay tonight at 7 p.m. where they’ll — we don’t know, whine about how hard it is to break up with your girlfriend or something. They play with Adelita’s Way, Otherwise and Smile Empty Soul. If you can tell the difference between Trapt and Papa Roach, you’re a better person than us. Or in high school. Either way. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone