Kardashian’s career in the Navy has her on the fast track to becoming a rear admiral.

Tonight, Kim Kardashian celebrates her birthday at LAX inside Luxor tonight. Kardashian spent her actual birthday Tuesday in the hospital with boyfriend Reggie Bush, who was recovering from knee surgery.

So, Jessica Simpson leads to Tony Romo shattering his pinkie and Kim Kardashian ruins Reggie Bush’s knees. Thank God Eli Manning married his anonymous college sweetheart.

By Jason Scavone

We could certainly play the part of ‘Geek,’ if she wants to swing by the office. (Photo by Jeff Mendoza)

Playboy’s model of the year and Beauty and the Geek star Jillian Beyor was at Rok Vegas inside New York-New York last night, splitting time between the newer club and LAX at Luxor, where Criss Angel and Tila Tequila wound up after the T&T opening earlier. Beyor must’ve known better than to show up at the opening and get Carrot Top all hot and bothered.

Also at LAX was pro wrestler Jeff Jarrett and Minnesota wrestler Bernard Berrian, getting a jump on the Vikings’ bye week. He’d just better be ready to go against the Texans next Sunday, as he’s a key piece of the official Fiasco fantasy football team.

By Jason Scavone

OK, Luke, now give us ‘disinterested.’

Luke Wilson, the more talented and less suicidal half of the Flying Wilson Brothers, was at LAX inside Luxor last night. No, they weren’t filming a Wes Anderson movie there. Wilson drank Dom Perignon and Belvedere with a group that included pro golfer Dustin Johnson. They’re here for the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open. We cannot confirm at this time if he insisted the Dom had electrolytes, which is what plants crave.

By Jason Scavone

Danny Wood is apparently three apples high. (Photo by Scott Harrison | Retna. Additional photos Hew Burney | SpyOnVegas.com)

The New Kids on the Block came to LAX inside Luxor for their afterparty following their Saturday night concert at Mandalay Bay only to get up on stage and perform some more, doing “Dirty Dancing,” “Single” and “Put It On My Tab.” They’re the hardest working boy-band-reunited-after-years-of-being-dormant in show business. Sadly, they did not put any sucker MCs in check. For the full sea-of-humanity craziness, check out SpyOnVegas.com.

Man, Bobby Brown is a crack-smoking wife beater, Donnie Wahlberg has a receding hairline and one of the guys from Musical Youth died. Boy bands are more depressing than The Cure.

Earlier in the evening, however, Alice Cooper-loving Dennis Haskins stopped by. We wish he had joined the New Kids on stage to cover “No More Mr. Nice Guy.”

By Jason Scavone

Why does everyone in this photo look angry? Did they just get the reviews for The Cell?

Anaconda star Jennifer Lopez was at LAX inside Luxor Friday night with husband Marc Anthony for his 40th birthday after catching Believe where they hung out with star of the show Criss Angel drinking Cristal.

On Saturday, Lopez and Anthony were at The Bank inside Bellagio and was so hungry she had the staff deliver her food from Fix. Not a diva move at all. She stuck with water while Anthony hit the Coors Light. After The Bank, it was off to Pure inside Caesars Palace with Mets outfielder Carlos Beltran and other friends and family. They watched the Pussycat Dolls, with Anthony dancing along. They wrapped up around 3 a.m.

Everything went so well that the couple renewed their vows last night at Caesars. Beltran and his wife also renewed theirs. Beltran appeared to have a clean run to the post-ceremony celebration, but inexplicably tripped up on “to love, honor and cherish” at the end, ultimately costing Willie Randolph his job as the ceremony’s pastor.

LAX also had Crazy Girls creator Norbert Aleman hanging out with dancer Liz Grantham and Carrot Top on Friday, while Pure was the pit stop for the Tennessee Titans’ bye week with Keith Bulluck, Albert Haynesworth and Chris Henry Saturday night.

By Jason Scavone

If someone can find us that Cosby-esque sweater, we will never, ever take it off. (Via myspace.com/newkidsontheblock)

The New Kids on the Block, or NKOTB, or whatever they insist on being called these days are back together, much to the delight of everyone’s inner 13-year-old-girl-in-1990. Jonathan, Jordan, Danny, Donnie and Joey take the stage tomorrow night at the Mandalay Bay Events Center at 8 p.m. with guests Lady GaGa and Natasha Bedingfield. Of course, as with every NKOTB show since early 1985, Cranston “Buckle Legs” Oppenheimer, long identified as the fabled “Sixth New Kid’ will not be welcome on stage.

After the show, LAX at Luxor has the official afterparty, if, for example, you’ve been stalking Donnie since 1989 and have never been able to get close enough to snip off a lock of his hair. We know how you roll, boy-band girls.

By Jason Scavone

He has two crossed arrows tattooed on his arm. That means he’s a member of the West Syde Puebloz, right?

Pittsburgh Slim jumped on stage last night at LAX inside Luxor to do “Girls Kiss Girls” before settling in at his table for Belvedere cocktails. Also hanging out were Olympic gold medal swimmer Cullen Jones, MMA fighter Frank Trigg and Dodgers pitcher Brad Penny. Penny is on the 60-day DL and won’t be competing in the National League Championship Series against the Phillies, but even if the oft-injured pitcher were healthy, he would still kind of suck.

Choreographer Cris Judd was at Company American Bistro next door for dinner, while Strip House at Planet Hollywood Resort saw Hercules himself (no, not Arnold — he’s Hercules in New York) Kevin Sorbo stop by.

By Jason Scavone

Is — is that Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince? Admittedly, we’ve never actually seen Chuck (Photo by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Zach Levi was a busy little superspy this weekend with a birthday celebration Friday night and the Chuck Season Two premiere celebration Saturday. We’re in agreement, right? The combination of premise/show name will make this series the go-to punchline in five years for hacky comics who missed the MacGyver boat, correct?

Levi, the titular Chuck, did his birthday at LAX inside Luxor with friends Amy Adams and Joel David Moore along with castmembers Yvonne Strahovski, Josh Gomez, Sarah Lancaster, Scott Krinsky, Ryan McPartlin.

On Saturday at Pure inside Caesars Palace, that crew was joined by JD Nicholas, Marc C. Lawrence, Julia Ling and producers McG and Chris Fedak. McG is working on the new Terminator installment with Christian Bale, and is expected to do for that franchise what he did for beloved ’70s television icon Charlie’s Angels. Ruin it. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

That’s how Daytime Emmy nominees do it.

Jesse McCartney lined up a few songs for the crowd at LAX inside Luxor Friday night, busting loose with “It’s Over,” “My Baby” and “Leavin’.” Is his audience even old enough to get into a club? We’d have been suspicious of any girl trying to get in who was carrying a sign like she was going to a TRL taping. McCartney also spent some time at Tryst inside Wynn Las Vegas, as did chef Bobby Flay.

Over at sister club Pure inside Caesars Palace, Chris Tucker drank Veuve Clicquot with a small group of friends, continuing the belated celebration of his birthday. If Chris Tucker is hanging out on a Friday, isn’t Ice Cube pretty much obligated to swing by?

Also at LAX were Jermaine O’Neal of the Toronto Raptors and Damon Jones of the Milwaukee Bucks. The comrades-in-hoop were also seen Saturday night dining at Fix inside Bellagio. Jones met up with the Grizzlies’ Rudy Gay at Pure that night, where San Jose Sharks forward Jeremy Roenick also had a VIP table. JR later went down to LAX.

Meanwhile, Playboy playmate AJ Alexander celebrated her birthday Friday night with dinner at Social House followed by a trip to Audigier inside Treasure Island.

By Jason Scavone

Someone give Chuck a steak for that shiner. (Photo by Melissa Reese | SpyOnVegas.com)

Chuck Liddell, who lost by knockout to Rashad Evans Saturday in UFC 88, was salving his wounds last night with Tryst managing partner Jesse Waits at LAX inside Luxor during a performance by prop-rockers Powder. We admire anyone who doesn’t let a little thing like getting jacked up stop them from having a good time. We also admire anyone who could destroy us one-handed, so we’ll stop talking now.

Holly Madison was also at the club, and turned up at the Luxor’s other nightspot, CatHouse, where she shared champagne with Playmate of the Year Sara Underwood. So, she’s bouncing around Criss Angel’s haunts, then? Liddell and Waits also dropped in.

Meanwhile, over at Wasted Space inside Hard Rock Hotel, the Backstreet Boys’ A.J. McLean hung out until 2:30 a.m. with a few friends, when he was spotted leaving with a redhead.

By Jason Scavone