Well, we can cross off at least one place on the list of “Locations You Will Not Find 50 Cent Tonight.” Ja Rule hits the stage at LAX inside Luxor to gravel-voice his way through a few tracks. It’s like Tom Waits has something to say about thug life.

Clubs

• Wasted Space at the Hard Rock Hotel has Wasted Wednesdays.
• Crown at the Rio has The Movement with DJ QBert.
• Ghostbar has Snitch with DJ Tendaji.
• Surrender Your Wednesday is at Encore.
• Blush at Wynn Las Vegas does We Love House Music with Justin Baule.
• Haze at Aria has Industry Wednesdays.
• Caramel at Bellagio has Cosmopolitan Connection.
• King Ink at The Mirage does Fight Night Wednesdays.
• The Deuce at Aria holds their Industry Wednesday.
• Lavo at Palazzo has Label Junkie.
• The Gold Lounge at Aria does Model Material Wednesdays with Claudio Milano.
• Foundation Room does Girls on Top with DJ Mika Gold, where ladies get free Champagne from 10 to 11 p.m.
• Luxor’s CatHouse presents Vanity Wednesday at 1 a.m.

Music

• Club Madrid at Santa Fe Station has tribute band Metalhead.
• The House of Blues does Nothing but the Blues.
  

  Bars

• The SpyOnVegas.com Open Bar is at Hooters inside Sunset Station from 6 to 9 p.m.
• Diablo’s Cantina has the Bikini Bash.
• Blue Martini brings in Odyssey.
• Rhumbar at Mirage does its LGBT night, Captiv8.
• The Double Down (4640 Paradise Road) brings has Punk Rock Bingo with Swingshift Sideshow and DJ Beelzebozo.
• Cadillac Ranch at Town Square does the Locals Live Band Battle.
• The Freakin’ Frog features Black Carl.

It’s getting kind of Kardashianish up in here. Kim is coming to host at Tao tomorrow night but for now, Lamar Odom, the sort-of, kind-of, depending-on-the-prenup husband of Khloe Kardashian is here tonight with Kobe Bryant for a very special Lake Show episode of LAX. With the season starting Oct. 27, they have to get it in while they can. Actually, shouldn’t these guys be in training camp? Does Jerry Buss know about this?

• Juliette Lewis brings her band to Wasted Space at the Hard Rock Hotel.
• Godskitchen features Jes, Chris Carcia and Jack LaFleur at Body English.
• Rob Base is known to rock a microphone at Rok inside New York-New York.
• The House of Blues at Mandalay Bay has All that Remains, Lacuna Coil and Maylene and the Sons of Disaster.
• The SpyOnVegas.com Open Bar is at Havana Grill (8878 S. Eastern Ave.) from 6 to 9 p.m.
• Lavo inside Palazzo does Label Junkie with DJ Vice.
• Tacos & Tequila at Luxor holds Mischieve Wednesdays.
• Mist at Treasure Island has Release.
• Caramel at Bellagio holds Fashion Forward.
• The Playground’s Rock Room has the Spacebyrdz.
• Luxor’s CatHouse presents Vanity Wednesday at 1 a.m.
• The Hollywood Theater has Howie Mandel.
• It’s a trio of Latin nights with Azucar at Red Room (3101 W. Sahara Ave.); Noches Latinas with DJs Muneco and Willie at the Thunderbird Lounge (1215 Las Vegas Blvd.); and Tropical at Club Aruba (1215 Las Vegas Blvd.) featuring DJ Muneco.
• The Hostile Grape at M Resort does Escape the Grape.
• Bunkhouse (124 S. 11th St.) holds Hip Hop Roots.
• It’s a First Friday Fall Fundraiser at the Beauty Bar.
• Divebar holds Killer Karaoke.
• The Cheyenne Saloon features Far from Under, Silas, Unconfined and Black Beans & Hippie Liver.
• The Double Down has DJ Beelzebozo.

Apparently Holly Montag and Stacie Hall weren’t the only ones tight-lipped about the new season of The Hills. Kristin Cavallari said she didn’t give away any details about the new season when she was hosting at LAX inside Luxor Saturday night. Like, for example, that this is the season that’s all going to be pseudo-lesbianism.

Cavillari grooved out when a Michael Jackson medley came on, and did her Beyonce “Single Ladies” dance. So, if you were wondering if that was still a thing, the answer, sadly, is yes. We thought we were right on the verge of both of those things riding into the sunset of Not Being a Thing, but clearly, we were wrong. The same thing happens every time we think the Black Eyed Peas are finally over with. Also at the club were Willie McGinest, Criss Angel and Mario Barth.

Nick Lachey was with a camera-shy Vanessa Minnillo at LAX inside Luxor Saturday night when Wilmer Valderrama was there to host. By looking at the pics, it looked like Lachey wanted to get a little love triangle going on — as long as Minnillo got out of the way.

The couple (Lachey and Minnillo we mean — for now) had dinner at N9NE Steakhouse and took in Matt Goss in the lounge. Then on Sunday they went to First at Palazzo to watch the late game where Lachey rooted for the Giants. We don’t care if he’s just bitter at Jessica Simpson for dating Tony Romo, but all of a sudden he’s OK in our book.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs opted for Nove Italiano Saturday before their show at The Pearl. They did their afterparty at Ghostbar with a crew of 20 with DJ and producer Brent Bolthouse on the decks.

Kid Rock had dinner at N9NE Friday night with George Maloof before going over to Rain to listen to DJ Jazzy Jeff with a crew of 30 that included guys from the Booya Tribe. He got on stage for 15 minutes around 3 a.m.

Kid Rock also turned up at Wasted Space Saturday night after a private show at The Joint with Too Short, Vinnie Paul of Pantera and Ivan Moody from Five Finger Death Punch, who got on stage to do a few Pantera covers.

Def Leppard lead singer Joe Elliot (Our “Photograph” theory of the show is alive.) got on stage with Cheap Trick Saturday night to do “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” and “All You Need is Love.” Sadly, no one thought about what it would be like if Paul McCartney sat in on “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” which should be Cheap Trick’s next tour. You can have that one for free, Robin Zander. After the show, the band had dinner at Simon.

Finally, the Conan himself (Barbarian and Destroyer edition, not Talk Show Host) was at Strip House inside Planet Hollywood for his son’s 16th birthday. Samantha Ronson was off in a corner booth.

Queen of the Pussycat Dolls Nicole Scherzinger is at LAX inside Luxor tonight. The full assemblage of Dolls was just here in June, but tonight she’s also throwing some support behind fellow Robin Antin stablemate Matt Goss over at the Palms. We hope that kid is finally going to break out of her shell and wear something a little revealing.

• Pure at Caesars Palace has Bow Wow.
• DJ Reach spins at Lavo.
• Body English at the Hard Rock Hotel does Smashtime.
• CatHouse at the Luxor does Scandal Saturdays.
• The Playground’s Rock Room has Age ov Reason, Funky Jah Punkies.
• Ovation inside Green Valley Ranch has the Sin City Sinners with Robert Mason of Lynch Mob and Warrant.
• Paul Oakenfold’s Perfecto is at Rain with Z-Trip and DJ Scotty Boy along with Oakenfold.
• The Sahara’s Comedy Stop has Bernadette Pauley, Al Ducharme and Jay Black .
• Bonkerz at Palace Station has comics Tanyalee Davis and Kathleen Dunbar.
• Brand inside Monte Carlo features Sharon Paquette.
• Risque at Paris holds Stress-Free Saturdays.
• Bunkhouse (124 S. 11th St.) features Unite State of Electronica.
• The Double Down (4640 Paradise Road) welcomes Brassknuckle Voodoo, The Vermin, DMF, The Returners and Dangerboner.
• Cheyenne brings in Shattered Empire, diM, Missing Blind, Dymentya and Zombie Shaker Box at 8 p.m.
• The Aruba has For the Fight, Sicocis, Protest, Fractured Point and A Sinner’s Confession at 8 p.m.
• The Freakin’ Frog welcomes Scirocco at 7 p.m. and Solarcade with Light the Big Skye.
• Down and Derby returns to the Beauty Bar.
• The Double Down goes with Thee Swank Bastards, Cash from Chaos, Hogjaw, Kamikaze, The Knoits and Final Solution

Shannon Elizabeth headed up the draft class at LAX inside Luxor Friday night for the Superdraft party, a multi-property collection of the nation’s top minds in fantasy football like Bill Simmons, Gary Dell’Abate, Shark Tank panelist Daymond John, Paul Scheer, Ncik Kroll and Stephen Rannazzisi of The League and ESPN Fantasy Analyst Matthew Berry.

Thursday was the official start of festivities, with a Stacy Keibler-hosted affair at Jet, while Saturday saw Molly Sims take over hosting duties at Pure for a performance from Flo Rida and the aforementioned on the guest list.

We hope everyone had a good time, because when Maurice Jones-Drew gets knocked out in Week 3 and your team isn’t going to climb out of ninth place the rest of the way, at least you’ll be able to say you spent a night hanging out in Pure the same time an ESPN.com columnist was there.

How much of Todd Bridges dies inside every time someone runs up to him and says “Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” We bet at first it was a lot, like 1 percent. But now, years later, he probably barely notices. If you ever wanted to be the person that sapped the last little bit of joy out of a former beloved child star, though, tonight’s your chance when Bridges is at LAX inside Luxor for Way Back Wednesdays. We suggest you go for the montage approach to really break him down.

Incidentally, even though Bridges stabbed a guy in ’93, he did it in self-defense as his roommate attacked him with a sword. It makes Bridges the first former child star to defend himself from a sword attack since that time Jerry Mathers was accidentally sent back in time to the 1300s.

The delightfully white trashy, knee-whackin’, celebrity-boxin’, hubcap-chuckin’, Gillooly-humpin’ Tonya Harding is the host of Wayback Wednesday tonight at LAX inside Luxor. We haven’t really heard too much out of Harding since her boxing career ended a few years ago. We don’t like that. For the better part of 10 years we were getting used to Harding popping up on something absurd and booze-related every 18 months or so. It’s too quiet now. Someone check on Nancy Kerrigan and make sure she’s not in a shallow grave outside the Olympic Training Center.

• Starkillers & Austin Leeds spin for Godskitchen at Body English.
• Wasted Space has the Kings of Leon afterparty following their Joint show.
• The SpyOnVegas.com Open Bar is at the Blue Hawk Tavern on St. Rose and Las Vegas Boulevard from 6 to 9 p.m.
• Lavo inside Palazzo does Label Junkie with La Dolce Vita.
• Tacos & Tequila at Luxor holds Mischieve Wednesdays.
• Mist at Treasure Island has Release.
• Chris Isaak is at the Star of the Desert Arena.
• Caramel at Bellagio holds Fashion Forward.
• Luxor’s CatHouse presents Vanity Wednesday at 1 a.m.
• It’s a trio of Latin nights with Azucar at Red Room (3101 W. Sahara Ave.); Noches Latinas with DJs Muneco and Willie at the Thunderbird Lounge (1215 Las Vegas Blvd.); and Tropical at Club Aruba (1215 Las Vegas Blvd.) featuring DJ Muneco.
• The Sahara’s Comedy Stop features Tim Walkoe, Manny Oliveria and Glen Jensen.
• The Hostile Grape at M Resort does Escape the Grape.
• Bunkhouse (124 S. 11th St.) holds Rhythm and Rhymes.
• AJ’s Tavern (3650 S. Decatur Blvd.) does karaoke with Frankie Almost at 9 p.m.
• The Freakin’ Frog has the Swingin’ Pedestrians.

Way Back Wednesday is coming to LAX tonight and to host the party the Luxor has reached way into the distant past of the 1980′s for lovebale interracial adoptee Emmanuel Lewis.
The star of Webster is scheduled to be on-hand from 10 p.m. to midnight or until Alex Karras tells him it’s bedtime.

You probably haven’t had your daily dose of bitchiness yet (we assuming those of you reading this are not Wendy Williams’ personal assistant). So if you need to top off the bitch tank, classic Queen B Shannen Doherty is kicking off Wayback Wednesdays at LAX inside Luxor — their Wednesday celebration of all things retro. Future hosts include Emmanuel Lewis, Todd Bridges and, if we’re lucky, a very special appearance by the actual, real-life (nearly discarded, lifeless and matted fur puppet of) ALF! Yay! Everyone loves ALF!

• Morgan Pagespins for Godskitchen at Body English with an opening set from Scotty Boy.
• Wasted Space does Wasted Wednesday.
• The SpyOnVegas.com Open Bar is at Planet Hollywood Resort’s Heart Bar from 6 to 9 p.m.
• Lavo inside Palazzo does Label Junkie.
• Tacos & Tequila at Luxor holds Mischieve Wednesdays.
• Mist at Treasure Island has Release.
• It was only a matter of time, but the House of Blues at Mandalay Bay brings in Michael Jackson tribute band Who’s Bad. (Way to name your band in such a fashion as to inspire the most, and laziest critics.)
• Caramel at Bellagio holds Fashion Forward.
• Luxor’s CatHouse presents Vanity Wednesday at 1 a.m.
• It’s a trio of Latin nights with Azucar at Red Room (3101 W. Sahara Ave.); Noches Latinas with DJs Muneco and Willie at the Thunderbird Lounge (1215 Las Vegas Blvd.); and Tropical at Club Aruba (1215 Las Vegas Blvd.) featuring DJ Muneco.
• The Sahara’s Comedy Stop features Eric O’Shea, Tina Giorgi and Kevin Knox .
• The Hostile Grape at M Resort does Escape the Grape.
• Cheyenne Saloon (3103 N. Rancho Drive) features Rhino Bucket, Circa:Sik, Bulls on Parade, Tragedy X and Sector 7 G.
• Bunkhouse (124 S. 11th St.) holds Rhythm and Rhymes.
• AJ’s Tavern (3650 S. Decatur Blvd.) does karaoke with Frankie Almost at 9 p.m.
• Double Down (4640 Paradise Road) does Punk Rock Bingo with Jenn O Cide..
• Beauty Bar (517 Fremont St.) brings in De Siervas with DJ Ella & Bad Beat.