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    The Latin Grammys, everyone! (Photos by Erik Kabik)

    The Latin Grammys do their fifth and final turn in Vegas today at the Mandalay Bay Events Center, starting at 3 p.m. to make the Univision 8 p.m. Eastern broadcast. Le Reve is performing at the show to give it some Vegas flair. Which is cool, because unless J-Lo shows up we pretty much have no idea who any of the people are that’ll be there. We do know, however, that we don’t care because they tend to draw some impossibly hot women. God, we really need to move to Belize or something.


    Needs more train. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

    Every year we forget about the Latin Grammys, and every years it’s an awesome surprise when we get to see this army of hot women wearing stuff the girls at the regular, boring Grammys never would dare to put on. It’s like a Christmas morning of semi-slutty formalwear. Seriously, how do the Latin Grammys not have their own viewing parties by now? It’s just an endless parade of hot chicks … and Erik Estrada.

    Last night’s blowout at Mandalay Bay saw Shakira, Sofia Vergara, Zoe Saldana and an awesomely cleavagey Demi Lovato walk the carpet, as well as Usher, Pitbull, Taboo, Wilmer Valderrama and, for some reason, Sammy Sosa. We, uh. We never knew about Slammin’ Sammy’s music career, apparently?

    Reggaeton duo Calle 13 picked up seven Grammys. Menudo, tragically, was shut out.


    Everybody’s third-favorite Colombian export. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

    The girl with the truth-telling hips took down Person of the Year honors for the Latin Grammys last night at Mandalay Bay. It’s a good thing her breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains and dear God, that’s an actual Shakira lyric. That’s how you take down the hardware, Calle 13.

    The actual awards show is tonight, kicking off at 5 p.m. at the Events Center. It’s the fourth year the event will be held in Vegas, and performers are already making the rounds. Pitbull was spotted last night at Yellowtail, with a group of eight. He’s up for two awards this year, which should be tremendously helpful when it comes time for him to shill more Dr Pepper, Bud Light and Kodak. Then again, maybe we shouldn’t speak ill of the guy who did this.


    Still unmolested by the wrath of karma. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

    Professional terrible person Jennifer Lopez, husband Marc Anthony and husband Marc Anthony’s sunglasses were at the 11th Annual Latin Grammys last night at Mandalay Bay. So was Ben E. King, we assume because he recorded a song called “Spanish Harlem” 50 years ago.

    Once again, though, the strength of the Latin Grammys is in the women, including another lava-hot appearance from Miss Universe Jimena Navarrate. Seriously, we need to learn Spanish, like immediately. Is there anyone who can tutor us in the language for the express purpose of trying to pick up Latin girls? What’s Spanish for “What do you mean that’s creepy?”


    The one tenor. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

    The Latin Grammys are way more awesome than the regular Grammys. Last night, to honor 2010 Latin Recording Academy Person of the Year, Placido Domingo, at Mandalay Bay, they trotted out not one, but two former Miss Universes. Barbara Palacios of 1986 was on the red carpet, along with this year’s Jimena Navarrate. Even their reporters are unbelievable. Chiquinquera Delgado from Univision may make us singlehandedly start watching Univision. We don’t even know who Natalia Jimenez is, but she was there dressed like Audrey Hepburn, and that’s enough for us. We’re completely in.

    And if the girls aren’t currently gorgeous, they probably used to be, and they’re wearing something ridiculous anyway. Aida Cuebas had the kind of ridiculous and awesome dress you only see trotted out when someone’s doing a “traditional costumes of the world” exhibit. All the regular Grammys get is stupid Will.I.Am. Why even bother?


    We regret to inform you Alicia Keys is not actually topless. (Photos by Scott Harrison. Additional photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

    All we really know about Latin music is that 20 minutes in the late ’90s when everybody thought Ricky Martin was enough of a thing that he needed to be on the cover of Time. Oh, and that one Pepsi commercial where Shakira was really hot. To be fair, though, our idea of the pinnacle of music is from the golden age of the Ratt ‘n’ Roll movement, not coincidentally, Ratt’s Out of the Cellar.

    On Thursday, singer Juan Gabriel was named Person of The Year ahead of the 10th Annual Latin Grammys last night, with Miss Universe 2009 Stefania Fernandez and Mayra Veronicaat turning up. Which, incidentally, is always the way to get us to pay attention to something. Start throwing Miss Universes into the mix.

    Eva Longoria and Alicia Keys were on the red carpet for the main ceremony at Mandalay Bay, as were Jimena Angel, Alex Castillo, Melissa Marty, Martin Liorens and Shakira’s Pepsi commercial.

    Photo by Scott Harrison Photo by Erik Kabik Photo by Erik Kabik Photo by Erik Kabik Photo by Erik Kabik

    Photo by Erik Kabik Photo by Erik Kabik Photo by Scott Harrison Photo by Scott Harrison Photo by Scott Harrison


    Seriously. Major disappointment.

    We were so bummed to see that the Latin Grammys look just like the regular Grammys. We were really, really hoping they’d be little gold statues of some of the chicks from Sabado Gigante. Seriously, Mad Men might be a great show and all, but Univision has it all over American television when it comes to putting girls in skintight dresses on set for no discernible reason. Anyway, the Latin Grammys are going on right now at Mandalay Bay. (more…)