So there you go. The very best the Internet has to offer.

Christine Dolce, she of more than a million MySpace.com friends, hosted Friday night at Hawaiian Tropic Zone’s Torrid inside Planet Hollywood Resort. Being the queen of MySpace, though, is kind of like being the coolest kid at the comic book store, isn’t it?

Sunday night at the club, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson took in dinner while watching the Lakers game and spent most of the night fielding numerous questions about whether patrons could in fact smell what was cooking.

Meanwhile on Friday, Dane Cook kicked off his weekend of screaming, gesticulating comedy with dinner at Boa Steakhouse inside Caesars Palace.

By Jason Scavone

In retrospect, the lit cigar probably hurt his ability to get up and down the court. (Photo by Scott Harrison)

Dennis Rodman celebrated his 47th birthday at Hawaiian Tropic Zone’s Torrid Friday night. The one-time husband of Carmen Electra had a decent night, grabbing 12 rebounds, but was repeatedly denied on the perimeter by the tenacious defense of one of the Hawaiian Tropic models.

By Jason Scavone

Is this her sexy look or her ‘You gotta be effing kidding me?’ look? (Via myspace.com/jeskavardinski)

Jeska Vardanski, cover model for the June issue of Strip Las Vegas hosts Torrid at Hawaiian Tropic Zone inside Planet Hollywood Saturday night where she’ll be joined by 30 NFL players including Jason Bell of your Super Bowl Champion New York Giants. If you’re lucky, and you ask nice, he might rub a little of that Super Bowl magic off on you. It’s better than anything AJ Feeley might rub off on you, and he’ll be there too.

By Jason Scavone

We hope he wears the wedding dress tonight.

Tonight at Hawaiian Tropic Zone’s Torrid inside Planet Hollywood Resort Dennis Rodman will celebrate his 47th birthday while DJ Direct spins. We assume he’s as shocked as anyone that he made it to 47. Rodman reportedly checked into a Florida rehab center after his April 30 arrest on domestic violence charges, so someone may want to get Dr. Drew on standby for this one.

By Jason Scavone

Anna Naroznaja is not Hawaiian, nor is Estonia tropical. Somehow, this still works. (via HawaiianTropicModels.com)

It’s just a week away until the gaping void left in our hearts by the departure of the Miss USA pageant is filled, when the Miss Hawaiian Tropic International Model Search celebrates its 25th anniversary at the Golden Nugget.

Running from May 6-10, the contest will pit representatives from dozens of countries against each other as they try to crack the top 10 for a share of $25,000 in cash and prizes and a chance to take the crown that Miss Hawaiian Tropic 2007, Estonia’s Anna Naroznaja, will be passing on. If the folks at Hawaiian Tropic would listen to us for a change, this will be the year oil wrestling is finally used to determine a winner.

The run-up to the event will include photo shoots, rehearsals and meet-and-greets at the Nugget and Hawaiian Tropic Zone at Planet Hollywood Resort, with the preliminary swimsuit competition set for May 9 and the finals May 10 at the Freemont Street Experience’s First Street Stage. Everclear will perform, and their depressing songs about daddy issues should be a perfect counterbalance to an otherwise upbeat evening.

By Jason Scavone

Newman from Seinfeld will absolutely be starring in The David Burke Story.

Chef David Burke dropped in on his Hawaiian Tropic Zone Monday night, and we can only hope he hit someone on the knuckles with a wooden spoon in the kitchen for doing something wrong, in the fine tradition of Italian grandmothers everywhere.

Starting this Friday, HTZ will convert its bar/patio area to the nightclub Torrid. Not to be confused with Hot Topic’s sister store. If you show up looking for goth clothes, there is at least a 64 percent chance you will be disappointed.

Torrid will operate Wednesdays through Saturdays, and will be kicking off the new nom de club with DJs Samantha Ronsen and Direct, Playboy playmate Amanda Paige, American Curves model Brooke Banx and others. Stay tuned.

By Jason Scavone

The Sexy 100 are chosen by rigorous, objective scientific studies. Don’t argue with science.

One of Playboy’s Sexy 100, cover model Amy Lynn Grover was at Planet Hollywood Resort’s Hawaiian Tropic Zone to host Saturday night. Regrettably, she did not bring the other 99 with her. If the people who made 1 vs. 100 were thinking, that’s totally the 100 they should’ve chosen.

By Jason Scavone

Shockingly, this picture was NOT taken on the set of a Warrant video. (Via AmyLynnGrover.com)

Hawaiian Tropic Zone at Planet Hollywood Resort loves the Playboy playmates, and we love that about Hawaiian Tropic Zone. Tonight, cover model and one of Playboy’s Sexy 100, Amy Lynn Grover hosts as DJ Direct spins. Ladies drink free from 10 p.m. until midnight.

At the rate they’re going, though, HTZ will start running out of Playboy models to bring in, leaving us all in the uncomfortable position of coming out for a meet-and-greet with Miss June 1971. Which would be kind of like that time at your high school graduation party your mom’s friend got a little too drunk and kept insisting you’re a man now, and that you could learn something from an older lady.

By Jason Scavone

“They told us we’d be at Radio City, but I don’t remember it being in Vegas.” (Photo by Scott Harrison)

Last night, Hawaiian Tropic Zone at Planet Hollywood Resort saw an invasion of Miss Teen USA contestants, and it didn’t even involve a taping of TRL, or The Hills, or The Cavuto Report, or whateverthecrap the kids are into these days.

Dozens of the pageant contestants were there, along with current Miss Universe, Riyo Mori, 2003 Miss Universe Susie Castillo and Nick Verreos of Project Runway for the club event/fashion show/charity function Fashion Rocks the Universe. So you hear that, universe? You just got served by fashion. Consider it your last warning.

By Jason Scavone

2007 Miss Universe Riyo Mori should not be confused with Captain Universe, who we believe once fought Dr. Doom.

Had your fill of beauty pageants with all of the Miss USA hullabaloo going on? No, we didn’t think so. Tonight at Hawaiian Tropic Zone at Planet Hollywood is Fashion Rocks the Universe featuring enough pageant winners and contestants that we’re actually legally required to refer to it as a bevy of beauties. It’s like how you can only call it “champagne” if the sparkling wine comes from that one region of France. Otherwise the government gets all tetchy.

Let’s see, we’ve got 39 Miss Teen USA 2008 contestants including Miss Nevada Teen Lauren Hudman, last year’s Miss Teen USA Hilary Cruz, Miss USA 2003 Susie Castillo, 1995 Miss Universe Chelsi Smith and Miss Universe 2007 Riyo Mori, along with Nick Verreos of Project Runway and hairstylist Michael Boychuck among others. Although we can’t actually include those last two dudes among the bevy of beauties. Sorry, fellas, we told you there were regulations about this sort of thing.

There will also be a silent auction, and a portion of the proceeds will go to the Goodie Two Shoes Foundation. The red carpet starts at 7 p.m.

By Jason Scavone