Not even Sex Rehab could stop this? Brutal. (Photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

David Burke restaurant/nightclub Hawaiian Tropic Zone at the Miracle Mile Shops will be closing down. The two-year-old venue is hosting a closing party Saturday night with DJ Gigahurtz and DJ Timbo (and $5 you-call-its).

Word is, it’s a country bar (possibly another location for the PBR Big Sky Bar currently open in Kansas City) that will take over the space, but no timetables have been announced yet.

By Jason Scavone

Still rocking a little mullet? Well. He IS Canadian. (Photo by J. Ludwig)

Corey Haim really wants to be famous again, you guys.

While we can all agree that the Lost Boys vampires would totally kick the asses of the Twilight, True Blood and Vampire Diaries vamps combined it’s been a (License to Drive notwithstanding) tough couple of decades, what with the Variety ad and the blandly transparent Two Coreys and whatnot.

He was at Hawaiian Tropic Zone on Saturday night for the afterparty of the Planet Hollywood premiere of his American Sunset, which was being touted as Haim’s “comeback.” It’s a premiere that only seems to be noted on Haim’s website that came and went with little in the way of fanfare. We suppose it could technically be a return to form of sorts,but what kind of BS comeback is it that doesn’t involve Corey Feldman and Jason Patric? Dance with who brung ya, Haim.

He also turned up at the Hilton Friday for the Reach for Me premiere, which drew Adrienne Barbeau and Alfre Woodard.

By Jason Scavone

Just one weekend, a handle of vodka and access to a midget. We’re guessing it’d be good times. (Photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Former Miss Teen USA now turned America’s Sex Rehab sweetheart Kari Ann Peniche hosted at Hawaiian Tropic Zone in Planet Hollywood Resort Saturday night. And, as a rule, when there’s a compulsive humper running around in bondage boots, that kind of makes it the de facto place to be. She lost her pageant crown for posing in Playboy and she got engaged to Aaron Carter for six days after he proposed to her on stage. She was also diagnosed as too crazy to be treated for sex rehab. She sounds fun.

By Jason Scavone

Crap. Zombies on motorcycles. That’s one small step from zombies in tanks. (Photo by J. Ludwig)

Hawaiian Tropic Zone at Planet Hollywood Resort unveiled the Savage Cycles Resident Evil motorcycle on Saturday, the world’s first motorcycle powered exclusively on brains. Now, the zombocycle is all well and good, but call us when you make a real-life Excitebike.

By Jason Scavone

These girls look a little out of R. Kelly’s demo … (Photo by J. Ludwig | Night Vissions. Additional photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

R. Kelly followed his Planet Hollywood Resort concert Friday night with an afterparty at Hawaiian Tropic Zone. Surprisingly, everyone at the club stayed remarkably dry during the whole thing. There was one tense moment when someone at a nearby table jumped up and ran to get a wet towel, but it turns out she just spilled Champagne on herself. Easy mistake to make.

By Jason Scavone

He’s right. He’d make a hot Sally Jessy.

James Brown might still be the Hardest Working Man in Show Business (despite being dead — that just proves how hard he works), but Jerry Springer might be the jet-laggiest. Since he started doing America’s Got Talent Live Springer spends five days here, two in Connecticut and half a night in Chicago before getting on the carousel all over again.

He’s breaking things up Saturday night when he hosts the Dysfunctional Halloween Bash at Hawaiian Tropic Zone. Just what Halloween needed — an excuse to get even more dysfunctional. The costume contest comes in two parts — $500 for sexiest and $500 for most dysfunctional couple. Who better to judge the absolute rock bottom of what you can scrape together in your most white trashy fever dreams? Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

They’re down with HTZ.

Helloooo, 1995. Naughty by Nature was at Hawaiian Tropic Zone inside Planet Hollywood Resort Friday night to do “O.P.P.,” “Hip Hop Hooray,” and three others, joined on stage by Coolio for a few songs. It was one Ini Kamoze appearance away from being the soundtrack to our entire junior year.

Over at the Palms, Hulk Hogan brought Nick to N9NE Steakhouse for dinner. Just once couldn’t he bring Roddy Piper, Randy Savage and the Ultimate Warrior for dinner? You look us in the eye and try to tell us you wouldn’t drop whatever you were doing to beeline to whatever restaurant those four guys were eating at on the off chance someone gets suplexed through the table.

Jeremy Roenick was at another table with a group of six, while upstairs at Moon, Wally Szczerbiak was at a table trying to explain to everyone how to spell Szczerbiak. Danica Patrick took over Simon with a gang of 30 where she enjoyed the cotton candy.

Over at Lavo inside Palazzo, Macy Gray watched the Treasure Island pirate show with her kids from the terrace. Inside, Craig Smith of the Clippers, Chazz Palminteri, Beth Ostrosky and Queer Eye’s Carson Kressley (the latter together) all had dinner.

In the club, Derek Fisher, Dan Cortese, Warren Sapp and Urijah Faber were all spotted. Now with the rise of MMA, the world needs Cortese more than ever. MTV Sports: Cortese vs. Faber would be a basic cable classic that would instantly go to the Museum of Television and Asskickery.

Finally, Kym Johnson of Dancing with the Stars took in Peepshow.

By Jason Scavone

Like a teeny, tiny virgin.

While the real Madonna may be completely terrifying, Mini Madonna is still adorable. And about 10 times more attractive than real Madonna at this stage of the game.

Mini Madonna was in at Hawaiian Tropic Zone inside Planet Hollywood Resort Sunday night to knock out “Like a Virgin,” “Vogue” and “4 minutes.” That last one has to be something new. We stopped following Madonna songs about the time the Sex book came out. We couldn’t justify following the career of anyone who would bone Vanilla Ice and take pictures of it.

By Jason Scavone

Holding ‘em, folding ‘em, etc.

Poker pro Antonio Esfandiari was in at Society Cafe inside Encore for lunch yesterday and tells the hostess he wants a table for three, but it might be seven. She asks, “What are the odds of the table expanding?” and Esfandiari immediately shoots back “47 percent.” Thankyouhe’llbehereallweektrytheveal. Esfandiari ended Day 1 at the World Series of Poker’s Main Event with 75,000 in chips, but didn’t play in yesterday’s Day 2A — it looks like he’s going in Day 2B today.

Meanwhile, over at Hawaiian Tropic Zone, the run-up to UFC 100 this weekend was under way with fighters CB Dollaway and Ryan Bader having dinner together.

By Jason Scavone

This drink will help you get lei’d. Get it? Lei’d? What do you mean you’ve heard that one before?

Aside from the odd Greyhound, Salty Dog or Sea Breeze, grapefruit doesn’t really get a ton of play in cocktails. Hawaiian Tropic Zone at Planet Hollywood Resort skips right over the grapefruit juice to deliver a tall glass of citrus that keeps the flavor of the fruit without actually consulting the source material.

The Lei-Monade uses Finlandia grapefruit vodka with cranberry juice, lemon sour, Patron Cintronge (in our case, substituted Grand Marnier) and a splash of pink lemonde for a bright pink cocktail that looks like the inside of a grapefruit, while the spent lemon rinds bob up and down like mini grapefruits in the glass.

It’s surprisingly grapefruit-y. It keeps that really sharp tang of the fruit without tasting artificial — or overly sour. The drink has a light and crisp bite with one of the driest finishes you could imagine. It’s straightforward and simple enough for prime summer drinking, or when you’re looking for a libation to kick back when as you listen to Weird Al.

By Jason Scavone