Does that mean Hillary Clinton is going to join the show to do her Amy Poehler impression, too?

So, last night on The Tonight Show, Sarah Palin made her stand-up debut. It’s twice the disaster you think it’s going to be, but it was still funnier than Jay Leno. ZIIII-I-I-I-I-I-IIIII-I-I-NG! Oh, take that Leno, and your seemingly indestructible audience with an insatiable appetite for unthreatening comedy and your practically incalculable fortune.

Among her myriad and sundry bon mots (skip to about the 6 minute mark), she said “I picked up a gig in Las Vegas at the Legends show — playing Tina Fey.”

A spokeswoman for Harrah’s says Palin is welcome to get on stage with Legends in Concert any time to do her Fey. Representatives for Fey responded, “What? Why are you bothering us? No you can’t have pictures of Tina Fey in just her glasses and a bustier.” In retrospect, our request for comment may have been a little specific.

Legends right now features a Jay Leno impersonator, so last night’s Tonight appearance gave us a a long, hard look at the show’s upcoming April lineup. As soon as a Kevin Eubanks impersonator can be located. Although even Tyler Perry and Martin Lawrence have rejected the role as being “too humiliating.”

Still, this feels like Palin is foregoing a prime opportunity by not actually taking the gig. Politically, she’s missing out on the chance to align with Mayor Goodman in a strong anti-Obama stance. He’d make a damn fine running mate in ‘12. But more important, she’s robbing us of the endless parade of the moose jokes that have been so sorely missing from the Strip since Siegfried and Roy’s tragically well-intentioned-but-nightmare-of-just-hooves-and-antlers-and-oh-God-the-stomping-the-endless-stomping Tribute to Saskatoon show.

By Jason Scavone

It was the P-Ho’s crushing debt that killed MJ. (Photo by Erik Kabik | Retna)

Harrah’s completes its Jay Leno-ing of Planet Hollywood Resorts tonight at midnight, taking over management of the former Aladdin after buying up its debt, while working on the plan to take over outright ownership. This gives Harrah’s almost all of the east side of center Strip from the P-Ho to their namesake casino.

We’re not sure if this is part of some nefarious Old West land grab where the railroad pays off a bunch of Apache to go terrorize a small town and then grab their homesteads at a reduced price, but they’re getting it just in time to lock in the properties that face about half of the Las Vegas Monorail, which just filed for bankruptcy. It’s a shame, too, because that’s the thing that put Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook on the map. Monorail!

By Jason Scavone

The best of the booze-juggling best. (Photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

The U.S. Flair Open wrapped at Harrah’s Carnival Court last night with Argentinian Rodrigo Delpech taking home a big $10,000 check that they really should have made him juggle if he wanted to keep it. Delpech is currently the No. 1 ranked bartender on the Flair Bartender Association’s Pro Tour Leaderboard. This brings the list of “professional leaderboards we didn’t know existed before this week” up to three, after the Jello, Mud and Oil Wrestling Association of America and the Slip ‘n’ Slide Hot Doggers Federation of the World.

By Jason Scavone

Oh no! We wanted that Martini stirred! (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

For the alcoholic on the go, there’s nothing worse than the flair bartender. Unless you hear the words, “But we’re all out of bourbon.” To parahprase Dave Attell: Flair bartending is for when you want to get a little drunk, but you also want juggling.

This, of course, does nothing to stop crowds of people from gathering around flair bartenders to watch them take their entire range of ingredients on a little vodka Tilt-a-Whirl every time some unsuspecting tourist orders a Cosmo.

The U.S. Flair Open is going on at Harrah’s Carnival Court through tomorrow, where one rum-flinger will net $10,000 for the top prize. Competitors include Paul Nguyen of Caesars’ Shadow Bar and local Chris Parker, plus bartenders from as exotic and far-flung places as Argentina and Reno. You can go watch the qualifiers today at 12:30 p.m. at Carnival Court or hold out for the finals tomorrow night at 7 p.m.

By Jason Scavone

Why a bear? Because why not a bear, that’s why.

Mac King celebrated his millionth audience member yesterday by giving Pearl Lee of New Paltz, N.Y., a prize package that included a two-night stay at Harrah’s, dinner for two at The Range, a spa treatment at Harrah’s, the Mac King Magic in a Minute kit, and a meet-and-greet.

You wouldn’t think they could do a spa entirely in plaid for the promo, but you’d be wrong. That’s something you could probably live with if you close your eyes, but it really is a problem when they ditch the Enya for their soundtrack and put on bagpipe music.

By Jason Scavone

Two things we now know about Mac King: He is short, and he has been to a place where the Olympics were held.

Harrah’s own practitioner of prestidigitation, their lord of legerdemain, the in-house high priest of hijinks and hocus pocus (Jesus, we can’t believe we really Don Kinged it that long) Mac King was in Beijing for the 24th Annual World Fédération Internationale des Sociétés Magiques Championships July 26 to July 31.

Cool, but two questions:

1.) The international magic society is French? Are there even any famous French magicians? Not even the guys from The Prestige are French.
2.) HOLY CRAP, CHINA IS TRAINING AN ARMY OF MAGICIANS. We’re completely boned if we ever have to go to war and they’re making all our tanks disappear, and then drinking milk out of a rolled up newspaper after they totally made that milk vanish a second ago.

There were more than 2,000 magicians from around the world competing for the title of World’s Best (They’re magicians, not good-title-makers, OK?). King was there as a guest performer, his first stint at the championships since a 2000 trip to Portugal.

So wait. If you’re a magician, you get to travel the world for international competitions and you get the ladies in a panty-dropping mood like all the time? Or just one of those things.

Incidentally, the contest only had one American included over two broad categories, which means we can only conclude it’s only roughly as important as the World Cup or reading — you know, other things the rest of the world enjoys that we all secretly resent.

By Jason Scavone

We can’t approve of his use of headbands. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

Last Comic Standing — the show famous for letting alternative and veteran comics on, then crushing their dreams of ever achieving mainstream success — Season 1 winner Dat Phan kicked off his stay at The Improv at Harrah’s last night. Phan is here through May 3 and is doing two shows nightly at The Improv.

Phan was noteable on the show for keeping insanely detailed notebooks of his act, with bits broken down to running time and how many laughs they got. He was also notable for how much the other comics in the house couldn’t stand him. Who knew endless jokes about your Vietnamese mother will put off a room full of stand-ups?

By Jason Scavone

Roger Clemens + Fred Durst = Toby Keith. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

Proving no one should be without a MAGIC tie-in during these trying economic times, Toby Keith — of “We’ll put in a boot in your ass/It’s the American way” fame — hosted a private event to launch his TK Steelman clothing line at his I Love This Bar & Grill inside Harrah’s. To be fair to Keith, ass-booting is an American tradition going back to the Plymouth colony, when Goodly Wife Constance White was booted in the ass on suspicion of witchcraft.

Keith was joined on stage by Flamingo president Don Marrandino, and the singer greeted fans after the fashion show. It’s only a matter of time before Keith opens a boutique, “I Love This Collar Bar & Baseball Hat Bill.”

By Jason Scavone

Go ahead. Try to deny a Hello Kitty chestplate is the most awesome thing you’ve ever seen. (Via myspace.com/airguitarnation)

Not since Journey recorded the Separate Ways video has this much rocking been done without instruments. At 7 p.m. in the Carnival Court at Harrah’s, the Las Vegas regional of the U.S. Air Guitar Championships pits the best and the brightest in the field of pantomime-rock against each other. Perhaps, though — perhaps you hate joy, and air guitar isn’t your thing. We understand. Communist. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone