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    We’re hard at work pitching a Cage-Clay This is the End-style screenplay. (Via Instagram.com/Gunsnroses)

    If there are two things Nic Cage loves, they’re swilling wine and Guns N’ Roses. If there are three things Nic Cage loves, they’re swilling wine, Guns N’ Roses and hanging out with Andrew Dice Clay while they’re both dressed like concept designs for Warriors gangs that never really took off.

    At least Dice was true to character, but Cage’s outfit at Sunday night’s Joint show was a marvel: purple jacket, rows of Mardi Gras beads, fringed chaps, pimp cane, mirrored aviators, cowboy hat and, the piece de resistance, a Nic Cage T-shirt. This is Cage in the full flower of his pyramid-mausoleum buying, Wicker Man-starring, just-chugged-a-big-glass-of-Fuckitall glory. Mark our words, Cage will go down as being more important to this city than the Mob. (more…)


    Nic Cage is so ready to play Doc Brown in the Back to the Future prequels. (Photos by Erik Kabik)

    Oh sure, you might be in a band that sold roughly 80 billion albums, but you can’t really say you’ve made it until an unhinged-looking Nic Cage announces you to a crowd at The Joint.

    So congratulations, Axl Rose. You’re finally at the top of the mountain.

    Cage, who looks either like he’s about to genetically engineer a real-life ManBearPig, or else he’s doing a guest semester lecturing on potions at Hogwart’s, was at the show last night for Guns N’ Roses to kick off the new residency. We assume that means Vince Neil and Carrot Top were there too, because they’re the weirdest besties ever. Either that or they’re part of a secret cabal to take over every facet of show business.

    Cage_h1 Cage_h3 Cage_h2


    Pretty sure Axl just wanted to go clubbing again. (Photo by Al Powers)

    Please be advised, your bitch-slap rappin’ and your cocaine tongue will not be tolerated at The Joint between May 21 and June 7. (Your spandex bike shorts and headband, however, are more than welcome.)

    Guns N’ Roses’ second residency at the Hard Rock, No Trickery! An Evening of DestructionAppetite for Democracy get-up and a setlist promising “everything from its greatest hits to a few lesser-known but beloved songs.” “One in a Million?” “Used to Love Her?” But not you, Spaghetti Incident? Never you.

    The show dates are May 21, 24, 25, 28, 30, 31 and June 4, 6 and 7. Tickets start at $49.50 and go on sale Friday at 10 a.m.


    Axl Rose: Supervillain. (Photo by Erik Kabik)

    We realize you just got up off your sha-na-na-na-knees from the last residency, but apparently they’ll be selling tickets to the night train this spring. (Look, it’s just a dirty Amtrak car that Buckethead is passed out in, but go with it, OK?)

    Guns ‘n’ Roses appear to be teasing another Joint residency this year on Twitter (and, anecdotally, a bartender at the Hard Rock told us this weekend it was happening).

    Meanwhile, Slash is in town February 27 for the Kerry Simon benefit. So over the span of a few weeks, you could, conceivably, see the entire original lineup, assuming Izzy Stradlin and Duff McKagan are hanging out playing video poker at a PT’s somewhere.


    You gonna diiiieeeee … by robots. Definitely death by robot for you.

    The Hard Rock Hotel has taken the logical step to its Appetite for Destruction controversy by … just going ahead and cutting out the broad in the picture. After all the recycled, 25-year-old hubub surrounding the painting, the casino will now stop using it in promotions for the Guns ‘n’ Roses residency. We’ll now resume rolling our eyes so hard, you guys.


    County commissioners get two-for-one. (Photos by Erik Kabik)

    It finally happened: Axl ‘n’ friends hit the stage last night for the launch of their Appetite for Democracy residency at The Joint and, either contrary to the Neil Young debacle or else through some … judicious … mixing, Axl didn’t sound too bad. You still had to contend with Bumblefoot painted like a zombie, but we suppose if you’re already going to accept the absence of Izzy and Slash, that’s not the worst thing in the world.


    You gonna diiiieeeee … by robots. Definitely death by robot for you.

    This is the original cover to Appetite for Destruction, an album that came out 25 years ago. It was controversial in 1987, and that’s why the album wound up mostly having the cover you’re familiar with. So naturally, let’s still all be up in arms about it.

    After County Commissioner Mary Beth Scow became aware that G’n'R is using a modified version of the 1978 Robert Williams painting — and in several print/public versions of the poster, the broad has her boobs covered and the around-the-ankles underwear is Photoshopped out — to promote its Hard Rock residency that started Oct. 31, she was incensed. Now a rep from The Rape Crisis Center is chiming in, even with all evidence to the contrary that we actually live in Las Vegas.

    The upshot is, we feel like we’re in the sixth grade again when we first heard about this non-controversy. We’re totally going to go home and watch Duck Tales later tonight.


    This is Axl ‘n’ friends performing at a benefit for Neil Young’s Bridge School Benefit Saturday night. The Appetite for Democracy residency starts a week from tomorrow. I’m sure Axl will have the vocal kinks all ironed out by then. “Estranged” now describes the relationship between Axl and his vocal cords. Meanwhile, has Patton Oswalt ever been more correct?


    GAH too much Axl. (Photos by Erik Kabik)

    So, we’ve come to this, then. Guns ‘n’ Roses is doing a residency at The Joint, called Appetite for Democracy, because no one other than Bumblefoot liked Use Your Lieslusion.

    We can’t help but think that somewhere, Slash is quietly snickering to himself. Or would be, if it weren’t before 1 p.m., which is when we assume Slash slowly comes to out of his Jack Daniels fog from the night before.

    Axl ‘n’ Friends will do a 12-show swing, starting on Halloween night and running through Nov. 24. The set list is “created exclusively for The Joint” and runs through the band’s catalog though, presumably, will be bereft of any The Spaghetti Incident? jams. Sadly. Bonus hype: AEG’s Vice-President of Booking Bobby Reynolds cites “soon-to-be-legendary songs off Chinese Democracy.” Quick! Name three songs off Chinese Democracy. OK, name one song off Chinese Democracy. No, no. “Dead Horse” was off Use Your Illusion I.

    Tickets go on sale Friday and start at $45. Shows will be on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays through the end date. Your ability to ever find “Mr. Brownstone” dark and dangerous again, though, will be forever compromised.


    What … we don’t … what is happening here? (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

    Of all the things we expected from this last weekend’s double dose of Guns ‘n’ Roses shows at The Joint, the last was … that G’n'R would actually show up both nights and go on stage reasonably close to on-time. But the second-to-last thing that we had expected was that Axl Rose would have completed his transformation from sleazy, lithe junkie rock lord to bloated caricature of his former self all the way to reinvigorated, angry demon-imp hell-bent on destroying the world, one “Mr. Brownstone” performance at a time. Here then, are the six most pants-shitting close-ups of Axl from the New Year’s Eve show: