This is why America is the greatest country in the history of countries. (Photo by Jessica Blair | SpyOnVegas.com)

Here at DailyFiasco, we’re more patriotic than George Washington crossing the Delaware to sign the Gettysburg Address in front of the flag at Iwo Jima while Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the U.S.A.” blares out of speakers carried by F-14 fighter jets.

That’s why we’re here to offer a selection of patriotic Fourth of July activities that even notorious curmudgeon Millard Filmore would approve of. Take that, Compromise of 1850.

• CatHouse inside Luxor does Red, White & Va Va Voom, with a display of all-American lingerie and red, white and blue cotton candy at 10:30 p.m.
• Torrid at Planet Hollywood’s Hawaiian Tropic Zone hosts Red, White & Boobs. Playboy model Tiffany Holliday hosts and DJ Roxanne Dawn spins, while one lucky lady will win a new rack courtesy of Dr. Pancholi from Cosmetic Surgery of Las Vegas.
• Prive at Planet Hollywood Resort has a Fourth of July Party with Perez Hilton and guests Lady GaGa and Ultraviolet Sound.
• Blush at Wynn Las Vegas has Dependence Day, with a fireworks show at midnight.
• Tao Beach at The Venetian celebrates with DJ Samantha Ronson starting at 10 a.m.
• McFadden’s inside the Rio has a hot-dog eating contest at 9 p.m. where contestants won’t be judged by speed or volume, but by seduction.
• Rock the Block at the Fremont East area of downtown brings in Everlast and Taproot for a free show at 6 p.m.
• Six Stations casinos, Red Rock, Green Valley, Texas Station, Fiesta Ranch, Sunset Station and Santa Fe Station, will shoot off fireworks to the tune of Frank Sinatra, Bruce Springsteen, ZZ Top, James Brown, Jimi Hendrix, Yes and John Mellencamp. Yes and James Brown? Are they trying to figure out if they can put people to sleep while fireworks go off?
• Mist at Treasure Island and Diablo’s Cantina both celebrate for the entire weekend. Mist does Red, White and Booze starting at 2 p.m. Friday through Sunday,while Diablo’s celebrates later in the day, running from 9 p.m. Friday through Sunday.

And now we present to you the greatest patriotic song of them all. Yes, even more Americatastic than the “Star-Spangled Banner.”

By Jason Scavone