For extra spiciness, take your partner to an adult theater in the 1970s.

With the AEE and AVN come and gone this past weekend, it’s time to take a quick look at porn before it fades from everyone’s memories and computer screens. It’s just the residue on the keyboard that lasts a lifetime. (Seriously, get some cleaning wipes or something.)

Porn is a controversial subject, a billion-dollar industry and a guilty pleasure of many. It’s also something that not everyone is down with, whether because they view it as an infidelity, they feel threatened by their significant other watching it, or it makes them feel imperfect compared to “perfect” porn stars. (Ed note: You mean like the one porn star a couple years ago on the AVN red carpet who said she was doing really good because she’d only had a couple STDs in her career?)

Since I’m an avid believer that porn can benefit relationships, I’ll go over all the pros I know of. The cons of this issue just get too moral and are somewhere between “if you watch porn, you’re cheating!” and “why aren’t I enough?” But pay attention and put your insecurities aside. Hollywood is having a tough enough time of it in this economy, and you’d hate to deprive underground, Naked Hollywood their fair share, too, wouldn’t you? Click for more words and pictures »

By Stephanie Sims

Kayden Kross will make you jump, jump. (Photos by Al Powers. Additional photo by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Kayden Kross, the starlet who co-hosted the AVN Awards on Saturday, got going early with a celebration for the top title in porn in 2009, The 8th Day at Tao. She had dinner with a group of 10, including fellow star Stormy Daniels. Tabu at MGM Grand countered with a Vivid party with Sunny Leone, Savanna Samson, AJ Bailey and Lia.

Lavo, for their part, had Joba Chamberlain and Torii Hunter. Who, for all our sakes’, we hope aren’t appearing in any porn anywhere that isn’t under strict lock and key at the respective Chamberlain and Hunter estates.

Finally, Tera Patrick did a signing for her memoir, Sinner Takes All at Wasted Space inside the Hard Rock Hotel. Patrick, who last year didn’t appear at any of AEE, instead opting to hold her own events around town, was at the convention on Saturday to sign copies of her book there.

Patrick’s ex-husband, Evan Seinfeld, launched his website, rockstarpornstar.com at Moon along with Richard Dreyfuss. Which has us confused about the future of Jaws-related pornography. Alexis Texas, Jenna Haze, Kid Rock and Xzibit all took part. In the launch party we mean, now Jaws porn.

Z-Trip was joined at Rain by Xzibit and Too $hort, where Sean Locklear and Robert Sims of the Seahawks were spotted. Hines Ward and James Farrior of the Steelers and Kevin Payne of the Bears were there, too, because the Bengals had to go half-speed against the Jets in Week 17 and then pay the price in the playoffs.

The football players also bounced over to Moon and to Playboy Club where Harry James Sharper was hanging out. Earlier, Ward was at N9NE Steakhouse, which also saw Rock, Xzibit, Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and tennis power couple Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf.

By Jason Scavone

Andy Williams would be so proud.

This year’s Adult Entertainment Expo has sadly decamped for … wherever it is porn expos go in the off-season, but not before leaving us with misty, water-colored memories of girls walking around in just nip-covering stickers and the hordes of dudes with suspiciously advanced photographic equipment despite not being members of the media.

We went deep into the belly of the beast to bring you the best and worst of AEE. We hope you appreciate the Purell bath we had to take after we were done. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Your lasting image of AEE.

You don’t have to go gently into that good, porn-less night. Even though the Adult Entertainment Expo is wrapping up, there’s a last hurrah at the Hard Rock Cafe on the Strip, when Ron Jeremy is with the Sin City Sinners for the Paradise Visuals party. Don’t be sad, though. Your memories of porn stars will last forever. And be on the internet. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Why are Russian names always so hot? Sasha. Natalia. Boris. (Photos by Al Powers | SpyOnVegas.com)

The outspoken Sasha Grey did a signing session for fans at Tao last night from 8 to 10 p.m. before hosting the AEE Networking Party there last night along with fellow porn stars Kayden Kross and Evan Stone, plus non-porn (that we know of) notables Steven Jackson, Dikembe Mutombo and Danny Masterson. Who had to look like some kind of hipster-bearded elf standing next to Dikembe Mutombo. Brooke Shields was in for dinner.

Over at Lavo, Gilles Marini, Cheryl Burke and Sabrina Bryan from Dancing with the Stars hung out. But why think about that when you can head over to SpyOn and scope out the pornstarstravaganza.

By Jason Scavone

Our airline flights are never like this. (Photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Jesse Jane was roaming the grounds of the Adult Entertainment Expo yesterday, where she stopped in front of an oversize picture of her and her boobs for the flick Fly Girls. Which appears to be about stewardesses, and not the dance troupe from early-’90s sketch comedy. Which, frankly, we’re shocked the porn industry hasn’t made Not In Living Color XXX yet, because Homie the Clown seems like a lock for both comic relief and a breakout performance. For the love of God, the actual Fly Girls already come with knee pads. How much easier does it need to be?

In other AEE portraiture news, artist Fang unveiled her new portrait of Jenna Haze today on the main stage. That’s how you know you’ve arrived. Presidents, bankers and porn stars: The only people left who get portraits made of them.

By Jason Scavone

She looks like a saucy minx.

It looks like there’s some George Costanza-level shrinkage going on at the Adult Entertainment Expo. We thought vice was supposed to be the one thing that’s recession-proof, but first the gambling and now the porn? Get your priorities in order, America.

We just got back from a quick spin around the convention floor, and this year they’re not using the ground floor for business-to-business booths. Instead, B2B is pushed into the back half of the main convention space, that last year was used for retailers and small exhibitors. This year, those booths are all in the middle after the big displays for the established blue-chippers of porn — your Hustlers, your Evil Angels, etc.

Old favorites are well-represented. The Deja Vu Strippermobile was brought out of retirement. Real Doll broke out the acrobatics for one of its gals, and Fleshlight brought in a girl in a zip-up catsuit to demonstrate their vag-in-a-can to passers-by. Ron Jeremy, of course, drew a crowd when he was giving an interview on the convention floor. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

And one day, the parody and robot futures of pornography will converge.

Among last year’s gadgetry at the Adult Entertainment Expo was the Real Touch, a device synched up to computer clips, resting on the bleeding edge of USB-enabled penetration. Coupled with the proliferation of sex dolls at the show, we predicted a future of animatronic humping the likes of which the world has never seen.

We just didn’t think it would get here in 12 months.

Yet debuting Saturday at AEE, True Companion is unveiling the world’s first sex robot. Sadly, it will not be called the Sexmotron 9000. According to a statement from True Companion founder Douglas Hines, “Our sex robots are committed to pleasing their owner. This may involve having a nice discussion or engaging in an intimate encounter. They are fully anatomically correct just like a real person. We have electrical and robotics engineers, artists, fashion models, beauty and makeup professionals all working together to make our customer’s dream a reality.” Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

It doesn’t even fade away. (Photo by Hew Burney)

You can’t stop AEE, you can only hope to contain it. Porn star Teagan Presley was at Rok Vegas inside New York-New York last night. She was doing interview duty for Digital Playground during the past AEE/AVN weekend, but she was on her own for mid-week clubbing. She did have a big week, taking home an AVN Award for Best Solo Sex Scene in Not Bewitched XXX. It’s just a good thing neither Darrin was alive to see that.

By Jason Scavone

The Real Touch inspires such devotion it leads to outlandish hair. (Photos by Hew Burney | AVN.com)

There were two different kinds of love doll being sold on the floor of AEE, the Real Doll and Lovable Dolls. There were also two different kinds of devices wherein one would insert one’s junk, and it would simulate the sexual activity going on in a corresponding video.

Do you realize what this means? We are only months away from a terrifying Blade Runner future.

When the pleasurebots and Rutger Hauers of tomorrow come for you, don’t say you were never warned.

Incidentally, of the two devices, one, the Real Touch, was designed in part by former NASA scientists, proving once and for all that the sex robot portion of the Space Station’s budget was not put in place in vain. The device, which costs $149 but requires a $1-per-minute subscription to the site’s videos, has upper and lower heating elements plus a lube reservoir and it changes how constrictive it is depending on what orifice is being used on-screen.

The other one was hard plastic that buzzed a bit along with the movies. It felt like it would be like trying to hump the game Operation.

This says nothing of the Japanese “masturbation machines,” which we couldn’t tell if they were meant to be taken seriously or not; or the Fleshlight, which can best be described as “vagina-in-a-can”; and the Uniram, of which the less said the better. Gallery of earthly delights after the jump, but probably not safe for work. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone