PORN SLAPPERS HAVE LOUSY JOBS

Pornslap
That number checks out.

It probably didn’t take a piece of investigative journalism for you to figure this out, but the Guardian did a piece on Strip porn slappers and–surprise–they have a lousy time of it. What next? The guy driving the mobile escort billboards gets hosed on truck rental and gas?

You may have surmised that sketchy companies take advantage of undocumented workers to take a crappy gig in relatively cruddy conditions. Congratulations, person with a black view of the world and common sense. You win again:

Carla, from Mexico, and Victor, from Cuba, said they were ashamed of their pornographic product. Others expressed frustration over the wages – $5 an hour, when they’re paid at all. … Many handbillers alleged that the individuals assigned to manage them – fellow immigrants from Mexico – were in the practice of stealing portions of their earnings. Carla called the supervisors “thieves”, while Consuela labeled it “a custom they have to rob the worker”.

Throw that on top of $5-an-hour wages when they do get paid, and aggressive tourists openly mocking them, a government trying its damnedest to legislate the industry out of existence (“a 2012 ordinance empowering police to ticket handbillers caught within 25 feet of littered ads”), and it sounds like a dream job. At least they get to work in the fresh air?

“The worst part is the pay,” [Rafael] said. “Also standing here eight, nine, 10 hours a day. Sometimes 12. The heat can be insufferable. I feel it from the soles of my feet.”

At least the guy with the “Kick me in the nuts for $20″ sign owns his own business.

JOSE ANDRES: EXPERT PREPARER OF HUMAN MEAT

JoseAndres
Frankly, it would be insulting to his craft to suggest he couldn’t prepare human.

Of course Hannibal Lechter is a foodie. It’s right there on the screen in Silence of the Lambs: Total know-it-all, fussy perfectionist, so hipster he can’t be bothered with chicken or beef.

But to get the long pig looking just right on Hannibal, the showrunners turned to Bazaar Meat/Jaleo/China Poblano mastermind Jose Andres.

“I have a lot of ideas of how Hannibal would be inspired to cook something. The way he cooks is clean. He is stylish, the way he sautes.”

Waitasecond. We think we just figured out why the wait to get a table at é is so ridiculous. Has anyone gone missing from the line at Marquee lately? Why is Alive showing on loop in Jaleo, anyway? (more…)

0924WED: THE ROUNDUP

FatTony
What if your family don’t like bread? They like … cigarettes?

Fat Tony is at The Bunkhouse tonight (7 p.m., $8-$10), and imagine our surprise when it wasn’t, as it turns out, a Joe Mantegna-voiced cartoon mobster. Suppose we’ll have to settle for the Houston rapper who’s there instead. Which probably means we won’t ever find out if his wife was really whacked by natural causes. (more…)

WAHLBURGERS COMING TO VEGAS

McCarthy
Have your burgers flipped by an authentic Boston longshoreman. (Photos by Erik Kabik)

Fans of television, celebrities and gimmicky burger shops, rejoice: Wahlburgers is bringing three locations to Las Vegas. Giving you a chance to finally, finally catch a Paul Wahlberg celebrity sighting.

The chain, nominally founded by Paul, Donnie and Mark–but c’mon, even Donnie doesn’t really need this–is the subject of a reality series wherein A&E poses the question: What if the dudes from Entourage ran a souped-up Carl’s Jr.?

They’re franchising with Vegas American Hospitality Inc. to open the first 4,400-square-foot, patio’d store in early 2015, with two more to come in the next five years. No locations have been disclosed yet, because the Wahlbergs can’t figure out which casino is the most Boston-y. Obviously, the answer is The Riviera–gritty, but with a strong sense of history, and has an improbably high wall right out front. Though as far as we know, the Riv isn’t filled entirely with douchebags. So maybe we need to rethink this. (more…)

0923TUE: THE ROUNDUP

Silversage
We’d camp more if we knew there would always be a band playing.

Brooklyn Bowl goes local tonight with rockers Silversage (8 p.m.). They’ll also be featuring Crazy Chief, which we initially read as Crazy Chef and oh man that is a much better name. Crazy Chef sounds like the kooky cousin to Cannibal Corpse. Or at least a really rad ’80s horror movie. We want to buy Crazy Chef CDs like right now. (more…)

SCHWARZENEGGER EXTRAVAGANZA AT STRIP HOUSE

PSchwarz
Later that night, Arnold made a fumbling, awkward pass at the cake.

Arnold Schwarzenegger brought his son, Patrick, to his usual Vegas hangout–Strip House–for the latter’s 21st birthday. So you’re saying junior is all grown up? Why, they look like twins, if you went over a few of Arnold’s wrinkles with an eraser. … uhhh, kindergarten cop.

Earlier, they went for the private bar treatment inside a Linq pod. Where they were pumping drinks instead of iron–FINE, we’ll stop. That was the last terrible pun about the action hero. Oh God! We’re in too deep! We can’t control it anymore. (more…)

0922MON: THE ROUNDUP

SkrillexMinecraft
Skrillex and the dude who made Minecraft. Next-gen nerdery in the house. (Photo by Danny Mahoney)

Coming off a long weekend of playing music for Chris Brown and hoping not to see the back of a hand, Skrillex dips back to XS tonight. So if you really need to get yourself in a Halloween mood, there’s a pale ghoul with scraggly hair there to make it spoooooky. (more…)

IGGY AZALEA, ARIANA GRANDE TAKE IT OUTSIDE IHEART

IggyAzalea
Still waiting for a club to book “Weird Al” instead. (Photo by Joe Fury | SPYONvegas.com)

The iHeartRadio performers spread their wings far and wide during the iHeartRadio Festival. Or at least as far and wide as “slightly further north along the Strip.” Still. That counts for something, right? Right.

Iggy Azalea dropped in at Drai’s Saturday night and, we hadn’t noticed this before, but she looks an awful lot like Paris Hilton. We thought we were finally starting to move into a post-Hilton landscape, but you’re telling us as soon as one Paris Hilton goes away, there’s just going to be another Paris Hilton waiting to take her place? She even has a sex tape. Goddammit. It’s just Paris Hiltons all the way down.

Meanwhile, Ariana Grande was at 1 Oak on Friday with Big Sean, for two thirds of the “Problem” roster–because every song needs like eight different people to perform on it now and we’re going to go ahead and blame the internet or iPhones because if we’re already complaining about this we may as well go full-old with it. She might have one less problem without you, but she had one less Iggy on Friday. Seriously though, just as a logistic problem, how do you perform these songs in public when you can’t get the musical Avengers to assemble every time you go on tour? It’s complicated enough when just Dave Grohl drums on Queens of the Stone Age albums.

Grande was there for 1 Oak partner Richie Akiva’s birthday, which also drew Jason Derulo and Rick Fox. Big Sean did his stage turn, then Grande did hers. Once again, Rick Fox wasn’t allowed to sing anything. This is just like being on Kobe’s Lakers all over again.

CHRIS BROWN, USHER LEAD JERMAINE DUPRI’S BIRTHDAY

ChrisBrown
Chris Brown, seen here shortly after someone asked him what would’ve happened if there were cameras recording in his car. (Photos by Danny Mahoney)

The conspiracy-minded among us like to play a fun little game called “who benefits the most?” Go ahead and Google “Gary Condit” and see how fast “9/11″ comes up. If those people are right, then Chris Brown must’ve been needling Ray Rice for months.

Brown, now off the hook as America’s Most Recognizable Woman Beater, was at XS Friday night to celebrate So So Def mogul Jermaine Dupri’s 42nd birthday. He pulled assists from Usher, One Direction’s Niall Horan, Schoolboy Q, Tommy Lee and fiancee Sofia Toufa, and Jesse Waits.

They hopped up on the stage after Skrillex wrapped to sing “Happy Birthday,” then stayed up to do “New Flame” as part of a half-hour set that ended at 3:30 a.m. Not to be outdone, Minecraft lead designer Markus “Notch” Persson was in the club, drinking the $5,000 Five Star cocktail. Which is the kind of thing you can do when Microsoft shells out $2.5 billion for your video game. He probably thinks that’s just what cocktails cost now. We need to open a bar right near wherever this guy lives. “No, we’ve got a happy hour special tonight. Two-for-one wells, only $3,500.”

Dupri was back at it on Saturday, partying with Brown and his off-again, doesn’t-get-the-hint-again girlfriend Karrueche Tran. They had cutouts of Dupri’s face in the crowd, which is goddamn terrifying. Horan and fellow One Directioner Zayn Malik kept it at XS, where they were partying with Ed Sheeran and Macklemore, in what has to be the whitest night at XS on record. Were John Cougar Mellancamp and U2 just completely unavailable that night? Dupri swung over to XS as Lil Jon was wrapping up, in time for him to drop “Turn Down for What” and “Bend Ova,” before handing off to Macklemore to do “Same Love.” (more…)

0919FRI: THE ROUNDUP

motley
We assume they’ll be using more pyro than Coldplay. Hopefully. (Photos by Erik Kabik)

The chart-busting behemoth that is the iHeartRadio Festival kicks off tonight at MGM Grand Garden Arena, and with it, the farewell-tourin’ Motley Crue. It could be your last chance to see the Crue in Vegas, discounting all those future times Vince Neil gets arrested here. Or when they set up with another post-tour Joint residency. Still! It’s also your only chance to see any kind of rock music on the iHeart bill. No, we’re not counting Train, you asshole. Also on the bill? Nicki Minaj, Taylor Swift, Usher, the Zac Brown Band, the sad realization that taking your own life might be your best option, Coldplay. (more…)

  • Categories