Bullet 07.16.14

KA DOES 7 MILLION

Ka7M
(Photo by Joseph Donato)

We thought this was a plot reserved strictly for sitcom grocery stores, but Ka held a celebration for its seven millionth guest last night–complete with balloon drop and confetti. Jason Pierce and his group of five from Kailua, Hawaii, got to head backstage and meet the cast in order to, we assume, make awkward conversation like, “That part with the flips was great,” and “This is all lovely, but we have dinner reservations. Can we go now?”

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Bullet 07.16.14

FATBOY SLIM STILL DELIGHTFULLY CRANKY

Fatboy

Our favorite person in dance music, Fatboy Slim, continues to do things to remain our favorite person in dance music.

He’s already on record as hating Dutch DJs and not being a fan of pneumatic tits, but now he told Simon Cowell to fuck off when he wanted to launch a “DJ Idol” type show, but he also distilled the essence of what makes the evolution of any subgenre perfect:

“That’s the good thing about dance music; it grows organically through drunk people late at night coming up with stupid ideas. It’s not something that can be scripted or transported into a TV studio.”

Never stop being cantankerous, Fatboy Slim. Click for more words and pictures »

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Bullet 07.15.14

0715TUE: THE ROUNDUP

Santa
Pirate Santa wants you to have a mARRRRRy Christmas. (Photo by Bobby Jameidar | SPYONvegas.com)

The best part about July? What? Fireworks? A little on-the-nose, don’t you think? No, it’s those brave souls who put on fur and velvet for Christmas in July parties, even though it’s a thousand and dickety six degrees out. Like Clinton Sparks is doing for Santa’s Circus at 1 Oak tonight. Guess you should’ve thought about cleaning up your naughty act before Thanksgiving this year. Click for more words and pictures »

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Bullet 07.15.14

BANNER DAY FOR KIM KARDASHIAN


¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Photos by Erik Kabik)

Oh, it’s good to be Kim Kardashian today. It’s actually pretty good to be Kim Kardashian most days, what with the vast sums of money for doing little to no work. But today in particular, she’s got to feel great, because a woman in Britain spent $300,000 to look like a Kim Klone. It would be more flattering if she didn’t look like a lamprey in kabuki makeup, but it’s the thought that counts.

Then there’s the Kardashian app, a video game that lets you, we don’t know, roll your eyes every times someone brings you sushi when you clearly ordered sashimi. That’s set to earn upward of $200 million, because everything is terrible and you should be ashamed of yourself. Click for more words and pictures »

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Bullet 07.14.14

0714MON: THE ROUNDUP

MonroeValentino
The chest piece: A convenient target of blame for why you’re staring at a woman’s boobs.

It’s Monday, easily the Monday-iest day of the week. But seeing as how porn stars tend to alleviate early week humdrum, Artisan’s XXX Nights would seem to be well-placed. And tonight they’re placing Monroe Valentino at the center of that party. She has Marilyn Monroe tattooed on one thigh, obviously. She’d better have Rudy on the other. Click for more words and pictures »

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Bullet 07.14.14

JENNY MCCARTHY’S STILL GOT IT

McCarthy
By “it” we mean a stupid tattoo.

Jenny McCarthy came to party at Azure Pool on Friday with some friends, no doubt timing her visit right for when the New Kids on the Block were in town. She confirmed that her marriage to Donnie Wahlberg was imminent–just a matter of weeks.

She also revealed her next move after getting dumped by The View–she’s doing a SiriusXM show, Dirty, Sexy, Funny with Jenny McCarthy. She’s already done Dirty, Sexy, Funny at Vinyl. And she comes through here recently. Put her in a booth on the Strip and let her do the show here. Hell, charge $10 to watch her do it, and it could still out-draw the High Roller.

The ladies of television spread out to Tao Beach on Saturday, when Wendy Williams and Brandi Glanville of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills hosted the World’s Largest Bachelorette Party. (Also known as “Thank God Someone Thought of This So They Have Somewhere to go Other Than Taking Over My Bar.”)

Williams brought her husband, Kevin Hunter, to Tao that night to hang out with the bachelorettes and Jaymes Vaughan of Chippendales. It was also her 50th birthday, which makes her earlier decision to wear a bikini that showed off her waist tattoo all the more impressive.

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Bullet 07.14.14

KISS DOING JOINT RESIDENCY


Gene Simmons was spotted later in the day selling rides on the KISSmobile for eight bucks a pop. (Photos by Erik Kabik)

Music-related marketing platform KISS is finally bowing to the inevitable and doing a residency at The Joint. Our condolences to the staff of The Joint and their families.

The shambolic, lumbering corpse of a rock band that exists primarily to keep their lucrative licensing deals current will slot their way through the same set list they’ve been playing since the Psycho Circus years starting November 5 and running nine shows through November 23, at $49.50 for the privilege of watching Eric Singer in second-hand cat makeup.

Gene Simmons couldn’t be reached for comment, as he was busy selling bottles of official KISS H-Deuce-O Water: For When it’s Hotter Than Hell on the pedestrian foot bridge over Flamingo. It’s pretty humanitarian though. He just wants to make sure people don’t need to get strapped into the Dr. Love Kidney Dialysis Machine. Click for more words and pictures »

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Bullet 07.11.14

0711FRI: THE ROUNDUP

EnglishBeat
To be fair, this could also be a Mighty Mighty Bosstones concert.

Hard Rock Live is slicing off a big ol’ hunk of ’80s tonight (8 p.m., $10) with ska revivalists The English Beat, of “Mirror in the Bathroom” and “Save it for Later” fame. We’re not sure which wave of ska that’s supposed to be, because keeping track of ska categories is only slightly more tedious than parsing metal subgenres. And we like metal. Click for more words and pictures »

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Bullet 07.11.14

CASINO WRITER PENNING SLY MAFIA FLICK

Sly
It will not be the first time Stallone has played a mobster.

Nicholas Pileggi, the author who wrote Wiseguy and Casino, which were the basis of Martin Scorsese masterworks Goodfellas and, uh, Casino, is doing another Mob movie, this time starring Sylvester Stallone.

Scarpa, directed by Runner Runner’s Brad Furman, will take on Colombo family hitman and FBI informant Gregory Scarpa. The fun part is that Scarpa owned a home here. So there’s a decent chance Pileggi could return to vintage Vegas which could possibly be the most awesome thing that ever awesomed. Click for more words and pictures »

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Bullet 07.10.14

EDC DEATH RULED ECSTASY OVERDOSE

EDC2014

Montgomery Tsang, 24, collapsed in the parking lot of the Las Vegas Motor Speedway during Electric Daisy Carnival. He was pronounced dead on June 21. Now the Clark County Coroner says Tsang died from an ecstasy overdose, with a cardiac enlargement playing a part.

Another EDC attendee, 25-year-old Anthony Anaya, was found unconscious in his hotel room and later died. There hasn’t been a cause of death identified yet. Click for more words and pictures »

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