THE STROKES ROCK THE CHELSEA

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The show screeched to a halt when someone in the balcony mistook them for a Billy Squire cover band. (Photo by Erik Kabik)

Alternative garage rock band The Strokes played the mophie stage at The Chelsea inside The Cosmopolitan last night.

Rhythm guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. performed solo to open the show before the band took the stage and launched into hits like “Reptilia,” “Someday” and “12:51.” Unfortunately, despite our chants Horatio Sanz did not join them on stage to play “I Wish It Was Christmas Today.”

LAS VEGAS ADVANCES TO FINALS OF LLWS

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Technically he’s right. She did throw like a girl.

While you wouldn’t know it from the national headlines, Las Vegas’s own Mountain Ridge Little League team advanced to the finals of the Little League World Series last night with an impressive 8-1 win over media sensation Mo’ne Davis and the Philadelphia team.

Davis, only the 18th girl to ever play in the series, gave up three runs before being pulled in the third inning due to pitch-count rules but still dominated media coverage over actual winning pitcher Brad Stone or Mountain Ridge’s Dallan Cave and Brennan Holligan who hit two home runs each in the game.

Mountain Ridge now advances to the finals of the winner’s bracket on Saturday while Philly moves on to the loser’s bracket to see if they can play their way back into the finals.

50 Cent Wants Floyd Mayweather to Read Him ‘Harry Potter’

Rapper 50 Cent and occasional boxer Floyd Mayweather have been verbally sparring back and forth via TMZ and social media for months now. But our favorite jab was thrown today when 50 used the ALS challenge to question Mayweather’s literacy.

The rapper said he would donate $750,000 to whatever charitable organization Floyd chooses if Mayweather will read one full page out of a Harry Potter book. According to TMZ, 50 insists that Mayweather must complete the reading out loud and without “starting and stopping or
f—ing up.” 50 added that it must be done while he is in bed, wearing his footie pajamas and Mayweather has to kiss his forehead and turn out the light when he’s done but leave the door open just a crack.

Las Vegas Named a Top 10 ‘Most Caring’ City

According to movoto.com, your’e probably a pretty nice person – but we both know that it’s all a facade.

Sin City came in at No. 6 in the real estate blog’s ranking of the top 10 most caring cities using data like the 2010 U.S. Census, Facebook likes, and local business listings while ignoring the things you say to yourself when the car in front of you stops at a yellow light.

ZITO DEFENDS WAR MACHINE

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Artist’s interpretation.

Actor and former president of the New York chapter of the Hell’s Angel’s Chuck Zito is apparently conflicted about his feelings toward what happened between War Machine and Christy Mack.

In his original statement to TMZ, Zito claimed War Machine likely “just overreacted,” and that if Zito were ever in that situation he would probably “be doing the same thing.”

Yesterday he returned to TMZ to state that his comments were misrepresented and that he loves and defends women. You know…like Gloria Steinem if she road a Harley and used bronzer. Zito added that when he said he would do the same thing if he caught his girlfriend cheating he was just expressing his “own personal feelings.” This is now our second favorite non-apology ever.

KIM K DONATES TO HERSELF?

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There’s no way she knows how the “Asian time machine” in front of her works.

Radar is reporting that, for the second year in a row, Kim Kardashian’s favorite charity to donate her eBay auction earnings is…Kim Kardashian. This contradicts earlier reports that the majority goes to further research and development of Photoshop.

Using eBay tax documents, the site estimates that only 10 percent of her eBay charity auction revenue goes to her her mother’s Life Change Community Church while an estimated $400,000 goes in Kim’s pocket. This should really come as a slap in the face to the people who bought Kris Humphries from her thinking they were doing something nice.

Farrah Abraham is “Researching” Being a Stripper

Celebrity teen mom and pseudo-pornstar Farrah Abraham has embarked on a new chapter in her “career” and it involves stripping at a gentleman’s club in Austin, Tex. But, before you jump to conclcusions about her downward spiral, this dancing stint is “just for research,” according to Abraham.

The star of “Backdoor Teen Mom” says she’s researching for an upcoming project she was unable to go into detail about, but the club is reporting she’s being paid $544,000 as a celebrity dancer. Again, let’s not jump to any conclusions. We’ve all been there. Like that time we researched being a waiter in between writing jobs. Or that time in college we researched being in a same-sex relationship.

The End For Cook E. Jar?

A Facebook fan page is reporting that that Aug. 27 could be the last performance for Las Vegas staple Cook E. Jarr.

The lounge singer, who has performed at the Hacienda, Sands, Bill’s Gambling Hall, and Carnaval Court since 1982, currently performs at Harrah’s on Tuesdays and Wednesdays leaving tonight and next week as your last opportunities to be blinded by the light glaring off his bling as you try to avoid looking directly at his hair.

PACINO SITS DOWN WITH MIRAGE CROWD

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He should’ve ended the night by quietly slumping off his seat. Uh. Spoiler? (Photo by Bryan Steffy)

Al Pacino, one of the greatest actors in the history of cinema once you resolve yourself to the fact that cinema ended in 1997, was at The Mirage on Saturday night to spin some yarns from his career. (Was “How did you get conned into doing Gigli one of those questions?)

The one-nighter got a fancy turnout, including Jerry Lewis and Nic Cage. (He’s an Oscar winner. That’s fancy, right?) Plus Jerome Bettis, Paul Pierce and Glee’s Dot Marie Jones.

Sadly, our question didn’t get asked. Now how are we supposed to know what kind of ass she had? Great? Oh, well. Glad we could clear that up, then. Thanks, Heat!

MGM MULLING RETURN OF STUDIO 54?


For maximum throwback impact, JWOWW is available. (Additional photos by Scott Harrison | Retna)

Much like a plane full of Urugayan rugby players, Studio 54 had to die so that Hakkasan could live. But that doesn’t mean MGM was done entirely with the longtime brand. Not with so much tasty, tasty meat left on those bones.

In a survey sent to MLife members, the company asked a series of questions like how important certain nightlife aspects were to you, what clubs you’ve been to lately–the usual polling fare. But then things got specific.

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What MGM failed to ask, though, was “Did you see Steven Tyler at Studio 54?” and “Was Steven Tyler terrifying at Studio 54?” (more…)

0818MON: THE ROUNDUP

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Not bad for starters, but could use more twerking. (Photo by Danny Mahoney | SPYONvegas.com)

Well, children. It sure does appear to be a Monday. And Diplo sure does appear to be at XS. Put it all together, and you come up with Mad Decent Monday. Which, now that we think about it … buckle up, because that means it’s time for another exciting round of What’s Diplo Tweeting Today?

This dude spent $80k on beer at the club tonight .. Wish u were beer . Beer flex

JOE JONES GETS MINI FOR BIRTHDAY

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The cat looks WAY too excited about this.

Birthday strippers are a fine, time-honored tradition that someone should send to us right because, uh. It’s … our birthday. Exactly. Good ol’ August 16, our favorite birthday. What do you mean “It’s the 18th?” Fine. Whatever.

Jonas partied at real-life Wonder Showzen Beacher’s Madhouse on Friday for his 25th, and that means one thing: Lots of little people. That includes Little Spinner, the world’s tiniest stripper, and a stripper mini Miley Cyrys. And also a concert from the mini Jonas Brothers. Before Beacher’s, Jonas was at David Copperfield’s show when the magician brought Jonas up and asked when was the last time Jonas got laid. The JoBro said it was a month ago. Good thing for him the mini strippers were on the case.

But it wasn’t all strippers and/or little people for Jonas. No, on Saturday he got together with a crew of 30, including his brother Nick and his girlfriend Olivia Culpo, plus Alex Pettyfer and girlfriend Marloes Horst. They raided XS, where Joe was spotted talking to a blonde in a black bustier around 2 a.m. She was supposedly a friend who just happened to be in town. Sure, Mini Miley. We’ve all heard that old story before.

WILL SMITH REUNITES WITH JAZZY JEFF FOR “SUMMERTIME”

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If only someone would helpfully delineate who’s the DJ and who’s the rapper. (Photos by Joe Fury)

Here we are, a full 14 years into the Willennium* and this is the first time we’ve heard of Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff performing together in Las Vegas? No one told us the bright future of the Willennium would be a grim dystopia.

But Will Smith was at Ditch Friday to watch his son Trey, DJ Ace, spin with former partner DJ Jazzy Jeff. Naturally, this was as good a time as any for Jazz to drop “Summertime” and let Big Willie Style go shirtless for his ode to the warm months. (Can we get him to come back for his ode to the fall months? Because it’s been way too long since we jammed out to “Nightmare on My Street.”)

Smith and Jazz hadn’t seen each other for seven months, but they fell right into it. Jazz dropped “Apache” so Smith could bang out his moves–without the helpful assist from Alfonso Ribeiro.

There was also a Fresh Prince theme song singalong. Because of course there was. People in the crowd were just going to start doing it spontaneously anyway. Give the people what they want. Other than After Earth. No one wanted After Earth.

Don’t be one of those pedantic assholes who insists the true Willennium didn’t start until 2001, or that Willennium technically came out at the very end of 1999. You know what we mean.

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KID INK BUSTED AT 1 OAK

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At least he didn’t get arrested in Missouri. (Photo by Amit Dadlaney | SPYONvegas.com)

Kid Ink (not to be confused with Kids, Inc.) was cruising along with his regular set at 1 Oak on Friday when things got … weird. Cops were called to the Mirage club after a fight broke out. When Kid Ink and an unnamed girl were leaving the club around 2 a.m. Saturday, things got chippy with security.

Kid Ink (born Brian Collins) was charged with disturbing the peace and was released Saturday afternoon. He made it to his next gig, Saturday night in L.A., and seemed nonplussed by the arrest. Probably because he knows even if he goes to jail, he can scare all the other inmates with his spooky, spooky skeleton hands. (more…)

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