If only there were some sort of metaphor we could use to describe something small, yet when rapidly unpacked yields a tremendous, practically unstoppable wave of relentless awe. If … if only. Well, no use killing one’s self over it. Suffice to say that Atomic Liquors, marking its official reopening tomorrow, is mightily impressive.

There’s the plush velvet lining the bar; the original stucco on the ceiling, the shelves full of Old Crow, with sealed bottles from the ’70s; the vintage ’80s bullethole in the front window; the original accent neon that runs along the stucco above the bar; the 1952 Ellsworth Clark painting, supposedly created to settle a bar tab; the warning signs from the Atomic Testing Museum and the more good-natured ones that used to grace the outside of the building; the plexiglass-enclosed remnants from a floor safe, still sitting in the floor itself; the plans for Sunday Church, with a quick non-denominational service hastily followed by a Bloody Mary bar.

“So many people are so passionate about this place. We didn’t want to make any mistakes,” partner Derek Stonebarger said. Which is the attitude you want from people who hold the keys to that much concentrated retro Vegas joy.

Commonwealth is putting a Downtown spin on Electric Daisy Carnival festivities with an EDC showcase this evening featuring the confusingly punctuated ETC(!) ETC(!), along with Helicopter Showdown, Technicolor & PLO, Teenwolf, DJ Zo and Air Stegosaurus. Which is terrifying, what with the dangling, spiky tail and all.

Pools

• Daylight: Nicky Romero. 10 p.m.
  

  Clubs

• Artisan: Cuban Nights. 10 p.m.
• Ghostbar: Steve Madden Intimates. 10 p.m.
  

  Comedy

• Improv: Darryl Lenox, Tom Simmons, Helen Keaney. 8:30 p.m., 10 p.m., $29.05.
• L.A. Comedy Club: Shawn Halpin, Brandon “Gooch” Hahn. 9:30 p.m., $29.95-$59.85.
• Riviera Comedy Club: Maria Walsh, Greg Vaccariello. 8:30 p.m., $19.99 ($10 locals).
• Brad Garrett’s Comedy Club: Brad Garrett, John Dicrosta, Paul Ogata.$59-$76, 8 p.m.
• Crown Theater: Eddie Griffin.7 p.m., $77.75-$100.75.
• Laugh Factory: Rich Hall, Jeff Wayne, Harris Peet. $29-$44.95, 8:30 p.m., 10 p.m.
  

  Bars

• Beauty Bar: The Marquees, DJ Misfit Play. 9 p.m.

If there’s one thing we always said about dresses, it’s that they have too much of a front part. Which is the technical term we learned in fashion school.

Afrojack swung by the Boys and Girls Clubs of Las Vegas’ James Clubhouse yesterday to give out some pointers for the youth DJ class. He didn’t mention that Step 1 was “Be Dutch.” We bet some of those kids are going to have a real problem with that part. Maybe they need to build some windmills at the clubhouse or something.

That new 20,000 seat MGM arena, between New York-New York and Monte Carlo is going to run $350 million to finish. Or roughly the cost of six front-row tickets to the next Floyd Mayweather fight.

AEG and MGM are going partners on the thing, which won’t break ground until summer of next year and won’t even open until spring 2016. Yankee Stadium was built in less than a year between 1922 and 1923. So this arena should, according to math, be twice as good as Yankee Stadium. Except for the part where it will never, ever be home to pro sports.

So, this thing is literally all about flowers, right?

We don’t know if you’ve heard anything about this yet, but there’s this festival called the Electric Daisy Carnival coming this weekend. It’s true! 1 Oak is giving away a trip for six (on a Speedway-bound chopper), with a table, to the industry host or hostess who brings the biggest crew. And will reward them by deeming most of them unfit for chopper duties.

Clubs

• 1 Oak: Rally to EDC. 10:30 p.m.
• Moon: Alie Layus. 10:30 p.m.
  

  Comedy

• Improv: Darryl Lenox, Tom Simmons, Helen Keaney. 8:30 p.m., 10 p.m., $29.05.
• L.A. Comedy Club: Shawn Halpin, Brandon “Gooch” Hahn. 9:30 p.m., $29.95-$59.85.
• Riviera Comedy Club: Maria Walsh, Greg Vaccariello. 8:30 p.m., $19.99 ($10 locals).
• Brad Garrett’s Comedy Club: Brad Garrett, John Dicrosta, Paul Ogata.$59-$76, 8 p.m.
• Crown Theater: Eddie Griffin.7 p.m., $77.75-$100.75.
• Laugh Factory: Rich Hall, Jeff Wayne, Harris Peet. $29-$44.95, 8:30 p.m., 10 p.m.
  

  Bars

• Double Down: Unique Massive. 10 p.m.
• Bond: M!KEATTACK. 10 p.m.
• Beauty Bar: Nickel F*cking Beer Night.. 10 p.m.

There are, at last count, roughly four DJs for every man, woman, child and small dog in Las Vegas during Electric Daisy Carnival Week. With a glut of stage slots to be filled, not to mention the spinoff events at the clubs all week, it’s easy to see how a DJ without any kind of Insomniac-approved official billing could feel like a Dickensian orphan pressed up against the wrong side of a window pane on Christmas Day.

But the truth, say local spinners, is that the rising tide lifts all boats. If anything, there seem to be two basic approaches: To offer up a programming alternative with a focus on open format, or else to take a conventional open format space and throw in an EDM curveball.

“I don’t approach it any different. The spots I work at aren’t EDM-driven. My schedule doesn’t change at all,” says DJ Ikon. “The format doesn’t change. In fact, most of the clubs I spin at during EDC weekend try to spin at try to do hip-hop events because it’s so EDM-driven, for people who don’t want to go to EDC or hear EDM acts, they try to cater to those people.”

DJ Miss Joy is a regular resident at the Cosmopolitan’s Bond, which naturally draws a heavy EDC crowd, and is business as usual. Over at Mix, though, she says she’s found that there’s a strong EDC contingent that wants her to change up from the usual open format in that space.

“When I play at Mix, I play mostly open format, and it comes and goes in a lot of different directions. Definitely when EDC Week comes, it’s nice to get someone who wants to hear something from Knife Party or Zedd,” she says. “They know what they like and if I can play that style of music, it makes me feel good, too.”

What they both agree on, though, is that the influx of partiers spills out into all the other venues as well. You’ll see that in places like Marquee, that expand their regular Friday-through-Monday lineup to include Wednesday and Thursday as well.

That carryover effect tends to hit everyone, Ikon says, because not every out-of-towner is going to spend all three nights at the festival. And because many DJs on the bill won’t necessarily worry about setting up club sets too, there are more opportunities for local DJs.

“Every time you have a busy week in Vegas, it’s better on us local guys because there’s less pressure. It’s way easier because there are so many people here. I’ve found that a lot of the people who come here for EDC weekend, they’re not going all three nights. They’re going one night. It’s such an ordeal to get there, and no one’s taking a helicopter all three days. You pick the one night you want to go, and then you’re going to the clubs or a pool party,” he says. “If there are 60 guys on the bill, there are probably only 10-15 that will actually spend any real time at a club the city. Most of them are dealing with getting to EDC and getting back and getting to the hotel.”

The one thing Electric Daisy Carnival was missing? (Other than pants, we mean.) Lifelong devotions of commitment. But fret not, 18-year-old about to make a huge mistake: Now you can get married at the festival.

Las Vegas Wedding Chapels will be holding weddings, vow renewals and commitment ceremonies run by traditional ministers and/or Elvis. (Wait, do they necessarily have to be two different people?)

If you want to make this thing legal, you have to come with your own marriage license (60 bucks, plus another five if you want to use a credit card). Otherwise, the commitment ceremonies (with a photog available to use your iPhone to take pictures) are free between 9:30 p.m. and 3 a.m.

If you don’t want to wait in line for that, you can spring for one of two wedding packages. For $99, you get a ceremony performed by an EDC minister, use of the Electric Daisy Bouquet, six ceremony photos, a certificate and the minister will handle legal filing. For a DVD, it’s $25 extra. The Electric Elvis Wedding is $179 and includes two songs from the King. Seems like money well spent, especially when you factor in that you won’t have to wait in line with the free ceremonies. Call Brian or Eileen at 1-800-574-4450 to make reservations. Unclear if Elvis will perform a hardstyle remix of “Love Me Tender” or not.

Roller coasters: Try as you might, they just keep traveling through mostly horizontal paths. Well not anymore, thanks to the Polercoaster, an attraction coming potentially to the Tropicana that somehow has nothing to do with strippers.

The Federal Aviation Administration is reviewing plans for the 650-foot observation tower/coaster with retail and dining space at the top. And hopefully a Club Polercoaster. Dear God, please give us a Club Polercoaster.

The website for the ride touts “Safe, secure, efficient operation” and “proven technologies.” Jesus, we’d hope so.

We can’t tell if this is a win for Kanye, or a win for professional Patrick Bateman doppleganger Scott Disick. But to promote future Best of 2013 list-topper Yeezus, Scott Disick filmed this American Psycho parody for future brother-in-law (or however that’s going to work) Kanye West. Better this than the hooker scene, we guess, but it really kind of takes all the fun out of nonstop American Psycho jokes when Disick is in on it. Although it is sort of delightful in Disick’s Judge Doom voice.