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CHRIS PAUL WINS CHRIS PAUL’S TOURNEY

ChrisPaul

Friendship bracelet? Purse? Well, when you’re Floyd, who the hell is going to call you out for it?

Chris Paul did his TopSpin Charity Ping Pong Tournament for the second year in a row at Lagasse’s Stadium on Saturday and, lo and behold, Chris Paul won for the second time. What does he have at the NBA that he can keep luring dudes to a vanity event and then whooping him at ping pong? Also, why was Paul not doing double-duty in last year’s Olympics? Like he couldn’t have found the time to go beat up some no-names from China while the men’s basketball team had an off-day?

Paul dragged Lavoy Allen, Alan Anderson, Rudy Gay, Isaiah Thomas, CJ Watson, Al-Farouq Aminu, Stephen Curry, Willie Green, Roger Mason, Jerry Stackhouse, P.J. Tucker and Jerome Williams from the NBA, while ping pongistas Soo Yeon Lee and Wally Green emceed the event. Paul beat Williams to retain his fake title. Floyd Mayweather and Kenny Smith stopped by, both of whom were too cool to actually pong it up with the NBA’s biggest dweeb. (more…)

0728MON: THE ROUNDUP

Diplo

It’s about time someone seized the crown as king of the random white dudes. (Photo by Danny Mahoney | SPYONvegas.com)

Monday you say? Diplo you say? Well that can only mean one thing: Mad Decent Mondays at XS, and another spirited round of What’s Diplo Tweeting Today? In fact, this is his best bunch in a while. Go time:

Mmm, that’s kind of tame. What else ya got?

Better, but still doesn’t have that Diplo feel.

Yep, there it is. We have a winner. Ratchetivity, avant hard music and throat babies. And that’s What Diplo’s Tweeting Today. (more…)

TYSON CARTOON HAS A TRAILER

TysonMystery

Sadly, the T-rex is the Michael Spinks of the dinosaur world.

Forget any Avengers-related news that came out of Comic-Con this weekend, the real important item was that the long-promised Mike Tyson Mysteries got a trailer.

And it’s amazing.

It has everything you could ask for in a Scooby-Doo-influenced Mike Tyson cartoon. Jim Rash as an effete ghost. Tyson getting excited to fight a chupacabra. A jazzy Johnny Quest/Mannix-ish score. Dinosaur punching. The musical debut of “Ain’t Got No Time for Bird Sex.” NORM MACDONALD AS THE DRUNKEN PIGEON YOU ALWAYS SECRETLY SUSPECTED HIM OF BEING.

It’s not too early to proclaim this the greatest show ever, is it? Because it’s the greatest show ever. How long is it ’til fall, again?

ORA ROCKS TAO, PARKER PARTIES SINGLE

Banking on box-office mommy porn to catapult you to greater heights is a solid business plan. (Photo by Al Powers) -

Banking on box-office mommy porn to catapult you to greater heights is a solid business plan. (Photo by Al Powers)

Rita Ora is taking this whole Fifty Shades of Grey thing awfully seriously. She turned up to Tao in a black leather jumpsuit before doing “How We Do,” “I Will Never Let You Down” and “Put Your Love on Me.” The jumpsuit-and-bra combo didn’t last long–she changed into a Black Flag T-shirt after she got off the stage. Just like Henry Rollins would have wanted. The good news is, we might get an angry, non-rhyming poem out of how pop singers co-opt underground artists. So everyone’s a winner. Sort of. Ora was at Tao Beach on Sunday, where Kid ‘N Play hosted. So it was a retro kind of weekend for her.

Over at sister property Lavo, Tony Parker had dinner with a bunch of friends. It was a busy weekend for the former Mr. Eva Longoria. He turned up at Hakkasan, where Ed Westwick of Gossip Girl was partying to the sounds of Calvin Harris. Who went through a messy breakup with Rita Ora. It all comes full circle. But Parker wasn’t done there–he was spotted at Kumi inside Mandalay Bay with DeMarcus Cousins, and at the Cosmo pool, possibly rocking a bachelor party before his upcoming wedding.

Speaking of pools, swimsuit model Genevieve Morton hosted Tao Beach on Saturday with a Baywatch-style number. Thank you, The Hoff. Thank you for everything.

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0725FRI: THE ROUNDUP

Pictured: The joker, the thief and the night.

Pictured: The joker, the thief and the night.

Everyone’s favorite Zep-revivin’ Aussie band that once saw most of its members get fired in between albums, Wolfmother, is at the Boulevard Pool tonight ($20, 8 p.m.). Which is basically going to make us want to play a bunch of Guitar Hero and Rock Band, and try to nail that sweet, sweet “Woman” solo. Now if we can only figure out where we left our plastic guitars.

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WEEKEND KOMBAT: SABINA VS. IGGY

Kick dat, kick dat, K-A-N-O.

Kick dat, kick dat, K-A-N-O.

Everybody has hard choices to make about how they’re going to spend their weekend. Some choices are harder than others. This week’s showdown: A hot-rod-lovin’ model vs. the Down Under songstress of the summer. FIGHT!

Sabina Kelley Iggy Azalea
What: Claire Sinclair’s stand-in forPin Up. The white lady rapper that launched a thousand think-pieces. Advantage: Sabina.
When/where: Stratosphere through July 31. Boulevard Pool, Saturday. Advantage: Iggy.
There will be: Boobs. “Fancy.” Advantage: Sabina and it’s so far removed from being close we’re embarrassed to even posit the scenario.
Has “Weird Al” Yankovic gotten involved: No. So very yes. Advantage: Iggy, and see above.
How about Questlove? Again, no. Yes. Advantage: Sabina. Normally having Questlove talk about you is great, but in this case, not having Questo weigh in on your racial politics is a good thing.
Likelihood of appearing at next year’s Viva Las Vegas: Sky-high. Slim-to-none. Advantage: Sabina.

 

RONALDO PARTIES AT HAK SANS WEEZY

We apologize for bringing up soccer again.

We apologize for bringing up soccer again.

Cristiano Ronaldo, fresh off not leading Portugal to a World Cup victory, was out with friends and girlfriend Irina Shayk at Hakkasan last night. They just did dinner, coming in around 10:30 p.m. and leaving just after midnight.

Which is no way to celebrate entering a partnership with Lil Wayne. Unless they were all just going home to pound sizzurp. Ronaldo hooked up with Weezy’s management company to handle his American branding and marketing. Which might even be worth some money if Ronaldo ever becomes a place kicker in the NFL.

Last Vegas Going Around Again

Because you just couldn’t get enough old-people-doing-the-Hangover shenanigans, Last Vegas is getting a sequel. This new one sees the gang going back to Brooklyn, which means they’re going to need to come up with a much better name than Last Vegas 2: We’re Not Dead Yet.

0724THURS: THE ROUNDUP

Chris Paul is very excited about his new vase. (Photos by Tom Donaghue. Additional photos by Al Powers)

Chris Paul is very excited about his new vase. (Photos by Tom Donaghue. Additional photos by Al Powers)

Chris Paul is getting ready for his charity ping pong tournament, Topspin, on Saturday. Tonight he’s setting the mood by hosting a night at Tao. Which seems like it’s the opposite of how you set the mood for ping pong. Feel like the right way to set the mood for that is to chug Mountain Dew in your stepdad’s basement.

Clubs


  • Hakkasan: Dzeko & Torres. 10 p.m.
  • Tao: Chris Paul.10 p.m.
  • Encore Beach Club: Mighty Mi.10 p.m.
  • Body English: Throwback Thursdays.10 p.m.
  • Haze: DJ Scene.10 p.m.
  • Drai’s: DJ Shift.10 p.m.

Music


  • Las Vegas Country Saloon: Peter Murphy. 9 p.m.. $20
  • Brooklyn Bowl: The Stooges Brass Band. 8 p.m.
  • Boulevard Pool: Mac Miller. 8 p.m., $30

Comedy


  • Improv: Rocky LaPorte, Ron Morey, Justin Martindale. 8:30 p.m., 10 p.m., $29.05.
  • L.A. Comedy Club: Peter Berman, Brandon Hahn. 9:30 p.m., $29.95-$59.85.
  • Riviera Comedy Club: Michael “Wheels” Parise, Penny Prince. 8:30 p.m., $19.99 ($10 locals).
  • Crown Theater: Eddie Griffin. 7 p.m., $77.75-$100.75.
  • Laugh Factory: Harry Basil, Jeff Altman. $29-$44.95, 8:30 p.m., 10 p.m.
  • Brad Garrett’s Comedy Club: Ian Bagg, Erik Myers. $$46-$68, 8 p.m.

Bars


  • Beauty Bar: YNGCult. 9 p.m.
  • Bond: Ryne Pineda. 10 p.m.
  • Chandelier: Jennifer Keith Quintet. 8 p.m.
  • Book and Stage: Dessy Di Lauro’s Neo Ragtime Jamboree. 10 p.m.
  • Double Down: Sluthammer. 10 p.m.

Tomorrow’s Pool Parties


  • Rehab: Hot 100. 11 a.m.
  • Daylight: The Takeover. 11 a.m.
  • Marquee Dayclub: Steve Castro. 11 a.m.
  • Drai’s: Warren Peace. 11 a.m.
  • Tao Beach: Javier Alba. 11 a.m.

RAIDING THE LEGAL VAULT

He filed his lawsuit … in the heat of the moment. (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

He filed his lawsuit … in the heat of the moment. (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

John Payne, the former Asia singer who was co-directing Raiding the Rock Vault at the LVH, dropped a law-bomb on the production and hotel, claiming breach of contract, copyright violations and slander, according to Billboard.

Payne says was fired from the show in June after being forced, under duress, to sign over his ownership rights in the show after he came on board with a royalties agreement. He also claims he wasn’t paid the $1,000-a-gig performance fee he was supposed to get for playing bass and singing in the show. Which … that show runs five nights a week. $5,000 a week for playing bass on “Living on a Prayer?” We’ll do it for half that. We’ll even go buy a bass and everything.

COOLIO GOES IN-DEPTH ON PORN VIDEO

Coolio apparently went on a fantastic voyage to Buffalo Exchange for that shirt.

Coolio apparently went on a fantastic voyage to Buffalo Exchange for that shirt.

The best thing about living in a state with no taxes is that it attracts all sorts of random celebrities to come set up shop here. Like Coolio, who’s been here for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years now. He just did a promo video for PornHub, which TMZ claimed was his big comeback. Now he got together with RollingStone.com to set the record straight, pointing out that PornHub just paid him to come in and cut a video. End of story.

That doesn’t mean Coolio wasn’t as delightful as his insistence on continuing with the braids after 20 years have taken their toll.

I met some executive from Pornhub while he was out [in Las Vegas] for the AVNs. We hung out; he was cool. He asked me to do a song for Pornhub and that was it. It’s not even my song that I’m putting out.

Fair. But at least everything went smooth and not-racist during the video shoot?

That was one of the most racist days I’ve ever experienced in my life. We were supposed to shoot the whole video at this lady’s house in Whittier, [California]. It’s a nice house in a beautiful neighborhood, but her neighbors called the cops because they saw black people going into the house. They filed a formal complaint and it was either, “Shut down the video or somebody’s going to jail.” I said I feel like I’m in Calississippi. I’ve been in Las Vegas for five years and I get treated so much better.

Oh, really? Why do you get so much better treatment here in Vegas?

There’s 7 billion people on the planet, right? If that’s so, then I’m one of the world’s 1 million greatest lovers. I’m totally unselfish.

Oh, don’t be coy about a comeback album, Coolio. We’ll absolutely buy One of the World’s 1 Million Greatest Lovers, this spring from Rykodisc.

Krave Klosing Again

Krave, the nomadic gay club most recently operating out of the Tommy Wind Theater (formerly Empire Ballroom), is closing again. According to the Las Vegas Advisor, it’s going to close on Sunday and be replaced by Equilibrium, another LGBT concept. Krave should just get in and operate on the back of a giant flatbed truck that just drives around the valley. It would save them the hassle of opening and closing in new spots.

Griffith Gets 10 to Life

Jason Griffith, who in 2010 killed and dismembered Fantasy dancer Debbie Flores Narvaez, was convicted of second-degree murder and was sentenced yesterday to the max: 10 years to life. Griffith still claims he did it in self-defense. He’s eligible for parole in six years.

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