THEATER OF URETHRAL PAIN


Pictured: The face Vince Neil makes when he tries to pee. (Photo by Erik Kabik)

Vince Neil spent his Sunday in Australia doubling over in pain and cutting his concert short, thanks to kidney stones. (Kidney stones sent by the DEVIL.) Now he’s back up and going to Brisbane for the next Motley Crue show tomorrow night, because what the Devil takes away in kidney stones, he more than makes up for in unholy stamina for the power of rock.

Here though, let’s examine the story of Vince Neil’s kidney stones, as told by the members of Motley Crue.

Tommy Lee, blissfully unaware of any trouble brewing.

Nikki Sixx is on the case, as you’d imagine someone who had a crippling heroin addiction would be.

The normally reticent Mick Mars managed to send a Tweet from his darkened room rigged with copper telegraph wiring.

That’s adorable Tommy, but we’ve kind of got a situation going on here.

It’s either constant Twitter vigilance or Nikki starts diving for a tie-off.

That’s remarkably chipper for someone who just had to undergo surgery in a country that treats medicine with the same cavalier disregard for safety as it does for swimming with stingrays.

It’s amazing drummers can even dress themselves. That’s why so many of them are shirtless.

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