Long-distance relationships. Like if, say, your girlfriend is drinking herself to death in Nepal.

If you’ve ever talked to anyone about long-distance relationships, chances are they have a strong opinion and they’ll tell you about it loudly and frequently.

Those for it are confident and secure that they can work through all the problems. (Ed. note: The fools.) Those who are against it simply don’t see the point in putting in all the effort that goes into making a relationship work when they don’t think they’re getting much in return. Maybe they’re too needy, jealous and insecure to deal with having a boyfriend or girlfriend in another city. They can’t handle not knowing what their significant other is doing and who they’re with. (Ed. note: Or they’re smart enough to know they’re getting cheated on. Probably right now.)

So, how can you tell if a long-distance relationship is worth it? (Ed. note: Because you’re comfortable turning a blind eye to all the cheating?)

• It doesn’t feel like work — so much: All relationships are work. But LDRs can be a bit harder when you have to keep making all those phone calls, or get into jealousy-induced fights, or the redundant details of their day-after-day are driving you crazy. (Ed. note: Just like a regular relationship, but without the release valve of regular fooling around.) If, for some reason, you actually hope they have a good night out without you, or you want to pick up the phone hear about whatever stupid thing happened at their office, an LDR could be OK for you.
• You’re both willing to work through the hard stuff: Problems might seem much bigger than they actually are due to the distance. Your significant other isn’t down the street, and you can’t just rush over, deal with it quickly, and have it be over. You have to really talk it out — no rushing into makeup sex before you hash out your issues. If you’re both willing to do this instead of (Ed. note: Do the sensible thing and) bail, it’s probably worth it.
• Willing to go the distance: If you’re in one city, and they’re in another, you have to travel. Otherwise, it’s a make-believe relationship where you only exist in text, Facebook, e-mail, Skype and phone form. That’s like having a relationship with a Facebook friend who you actually just know through a friend, and you only met once. That’s not really real. You have to see each other in person once in a while. That’s the whole point of a relationship. (Ed. note: As opposed to a professional relationship, which we’ve seen Bosley was perfectly capable of maintaining with Charlie’s Angels without being physically present.)
• You have a positive outlook: If you have a negative outlook on an LDR from the get-go, you may be feeling forced into it. (Ed. note: Or are uncomfortable about all the cheating.) But if you’re positive about everything in the relationship, it’s likely you want this to last. If you have a plan you can make it through 200 or 2,000 miles of distance between the two of you, you’ll be in the same city someday, making it work. Only a lot closer. (Ed. note: Maybe even with somewhat less cheating.)

That’s the plan for me, anyway.

Got a question, problem or a rash you can’t get rid of? Let contributor Stephanie Sims help. Find her on Twitter at @_Sims, or write us, and maybe if you’re good and promise to stop chasing the cat around with that jar of peanut butter, it’ll find its way into the column.

By Stephanie Sims

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