Apparently he hasn’t been watching those Emmit Smith commercials. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

Jeff Dunham, the undisputed king of the lazy racial puppet caricature and unfunny catchphrase, did two shows at the Colosseum inside Caesars Palace where he debuted his newest: Hans the German Moustache. See, you can tell it’s a crazy character because the moustache is gray while Dunham’s hair is a certain uniform shade of Just for Men brown. So clearly, these two things would match if it weren’t a character.

Hans, the story goes, was a moustache belonging to a butcher in pre-war Berlin. He ends every sentence with a plaintive “Nein, nein! Mein meat!” (Admit it: This is no dumber than “I keeel you!”) Comedy Central has agreed to give the moustache its own spin-off series and a 26-episode deal. How’d Hans get attached to Dunham’s face in the 21st century? We dunno … Peanut or … something. Don’t worry about it.

By Jason Scavone

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