Custom kitchen deliver-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

Some people might think this column doesn’t take dating issues seriously. If that’s a problem, no one’s stopping you; go read Ann Landers. No really, I bet that old biddy would give you guys great advice about how to get chicks in bed. (Take them out for an ice cream and a Coke after the sock hop, boys. You’re so in.)

But today, we tackle a serious subject: Moving in together. Lots of couples do it, and hey, it’s a recession. Why not save on rent? But is that really a great idea, especially if you’re only doing it to save money?
Maybe you’ve been in a relationship for a while now. Maybe you just met someone a month ago and are flat-out crazy about them. Or as Ann Landers would say, “Just smitten with that nice young lad.” But when’s the right time to move in? Should you move in at all? Before you take the plunge, make sure you go over these things:

• Establish your relationship: If you’ve been dating for at least a year, it might be safe to say you’re ready to live together. Less than six months and it’s safe to say you’re broke and are doing it for the same reason your grocery receipt says “Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (10 @ $1.59)”. But hey, it could still work. Talk it out. Establish your boundaries, figure out who you both are and hey, if you honestly, no lying, think it’s a good idea, then talk about the next point.
• Money: Not just in terms of rent — that’s the easiest thing to split. Utilities can be tough to split, especially if only one person works. You can try to say you’ll split the electric bill every six months and then stiff the other person with summer, but you’re also not the first person to think of that trick. You can’t split groceries all that easily, either. I mean, unless you’re living with someone calculate DiGiorno, fruit and Jell-O divided by cereal, milk and Diet Dr. Pepper every time. That’d be amazing. And probably means you’re dating Stephen Hawking. If so, make sure your new place is on the first floor and has plenty of ramps. Plus, what if you need new furniture? Who sells their stuff, do you split the cost of a new couch because you’re both using it and if you break up, who gets it? If you’re going to live together, talk a lot about money, whose checks will be sent to the landlord, how you’ll split things, and so on.
• Secret single stuff: Yeah, if you live together, it’ll be hard for you to hide these facts from your boyfriend: You wear acne cream at night, you get disgusting flakes from your feet with a pumice stone and you watch Bridezillas and Platinum Weddings every Sunday night. Guys, your girlfriend might discover your stash of Asian porn, your penchant for Us Weekly (for the pictures of hot actresses), a few of your stuffed animals you’ve had since you were a kid, and when she tries to Google on your computer, she’ll discover exactly what you were searching for, too. (Watch yourself here. A simple search for “handbags” could bring up “hand job hookers,” or a search for “Ana Molly by Incubus” could bring up “anal sex gang bang.”) (Ed note: This is far less embarrassing than being caught Googling Incubus songs.) It’s all going to be out in the open when you move in together, and you can try hiding certain things from each other, but just be prepared to make public a few of your “single life” habits. Live-in boyfriends in apartments with one TV have never seen so many episodes of Bridezillas. Or attempted WE Network-related suicide that many times.
• Checking in: When living together, your relationship changes. You can’t party all night — even if you’re completely innocent. You’ll worry your partner. If they expect you to be home at a certain time, they’ll get worried and/or suspicious if you’re not. No matter why you’re out, it’ll lead to a fight. What’s always the verdict of that fight? “Why didn’t you call?” Yeah, you’re not married, but you live together now, and that’s a little different from a text message saying you’re just hanging out with the girls. Which means hitting a rooftop party, going to the afterparty in a Palms SkyVilla, befriending some strippers, hanging out at their table at Drai’s, and somehow making it home at 5 am. Sorry. It doesn’t mean no more fun , but just be honest about where you are. That leads me to the next point.
• Communicating needs: It’s very important that both of you can communicate exactly what you want. If you need space, you need to communicate it. Don’t think the other person will be hurt. Unless by “communicate it” you interpret that to mean “throw progressively heavier things.” Then there will probably be some hurt. Remember kids: Feelings can be repaired, but blood is really hard to get out off a carpet. If it hurts their feelings that you need space now and again, maybe you shouldn’t live together in the first place. Everyone goes through an adjustment period – it’s different coming home to someone, to not really having alone time. Keep communication lines wide open, and it should make the transition easier. Again, unless you’re communicating by heaving the marble ashtray your grandmother gave you at someone’s head. Unmistakable message, really, but not so much productive.

In short, figure out if you can handle it, and then act accordingly. If you’re living together for the short term – for a month-long winter break from college or until one of you can find a roommate in this tough economy – or the long term, if you’ve answered the above, and it feels right, go for it. Just maybe exercise a little caution if your girlfriend if has one of those crazy … I mean, slightly odd, wedding books and a stack of pictures ripped out of Bride Magazine.

Got a question, problem or a rash you can’t get rid of? Let contributor Stephanie Sims help. Write us, and maybe if you’re good and promise to stop chasing the cat around with that jar of peanut butter, it’ll find its way into the column.

By Stephanie Sims

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