This girl tried to psych out opponents with, ‘Have you seen my porno?’ Well-played. (Photos by Tony Tran | SpyOnVegas.com)

There are some strippers who know their way around ping pong. We don’t know if it’s that they’re just down for anything that involves a paddle, or if there’s some sort of rec room in the basement of every strip club across America, but there were a lot of girls at Sapphire’s Third Annual Ping Pong Palooza that were borderline Gumptastic on the tables. Either that or the Las Vegas Table Tennis Club put implants in a bunch of ringers. Either way. We don’t really know.

The tournament pitted teams of nightlife professionals against each other for a trophy that could only be described as the Stanley Cup of stripper ping pong. Sadly, we weren’t fated to take a celebratory lap around the club, as we personally dragged our team down to an early first-round exit at the hands of Haze. We’re not ashamed to admit that the dancer who was our fourth — every team was three guys and a dancer, unless they brought their own girl — was far and away the star of our squad. But then, we never said we minded getting beaten by strippers. Rimshot!

The evening started with a topless tournament, made all the better by the girls who decided their victory celebration would be “lots of jumping up and down.” While awesome, that still wasn’t the highlight of the night, which has to go to Watching Every Dancer Remember Right Before The Start Of The Match That You Can’t Play Ping Pong In Lucite Heels. There was more delay of game than Peyton Manning managing the play clock. We just hope next year someone has the foresight and sense of humor to paint nipples on the balls.

Actually, we really hope this takes off and leads to other clubs trying topless foosball, topless pool and topless air hockey. Just no topless darts. That has the disaster potential to be like a summertime run through the sprinkler, but more silicone-y. For a full run at the pictures, hit up SpyOn.

By Jason Scavone

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