Well, we know he’s not above doing experiments with his body.

You know how in those old Looney Tunes cartoons the female black cat would always wander under a loose fencepost that had just been painted so she ends up with a white stripe going down the middle of her back, and so Pepe LePeu thinks she’s a a skunk and spends four hilarious minutes trying to date-rape her? We’re pretty sure that’s what happened to Sammy Sosa. He just tried to crawl under a loose fencepost and got painted white. Also, he’s going to be dealing with some rather unwelcome advances from a cartoon skunk in the near future.

Sosa was at XS inside Encore Friday night in the middle of his skin bleaching? Vitiligo? Steroids side effect? Body double played by C. Thomas Howell? Controversy. Here’s another frame of reference for Sosa’s prior darker shades. It just happens to include him getting beaned because head trauma = HI-larity.

Incidentally, when your defense for these pictures is, “He is going through a rejuvenation process for his skin. Women have it all of the time,” that is still doesn’t make it any better. Try to picture Bob Gibson getting skin rejuvination. Then refer back to that picture of Sosa taking a ball off the face. Incidentally, while everyone’s making a big deal about his skin looking 15 shades lighter, why isn’t anyone talking about how shiny he looks? It looks like someone dipped a Cubs jersey in Vaseline and olive oil then whipped it at his head.

Also at XS were LeAnn Rimes with Eddie Cibrian, Jets wideout Braylon Edwards and Oakland receiver Javon Walker. Sister club Tryst saw Maxim model Mayra Veronica hosting her cover release party while Mets outfielder Gary Sheffield was around. So, you have a Met, a Raider, a Jet and a Cub all circling around each other in one night. They may as well have buried some Indian bones underneath the place, too.

By Jason Scavone

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