Robin Zander looks like he’s deeply suspicious of Rick Nielsen here. (Photo by Scott Harrison | Retna)

We’re starting to wonder about Cheap Trick. Sgt. Pepper Live wrapped at the Hilton a couple days ago, but they hung around town to open the John Varvatos Bowery NYC at the Hard Rock Hotel. And this is after they already got here early to do that show with Def Leppard and Poison. Something doesn’t add up …

Wait! We’ve got it. Cheap Trick is going to buy Fontainebleau. Oh my GOD, you so heard it here first. It makes sense. See, Cheap Trick’s biggest album is Live at Budokan, which is an album that refers to a thing in a place (Tokyo.) Fontainebleau is a hotel named for a hotel (Fontainebleau Miami) which refers to a thing in a place (Fontainebleau commune in Paris.) Plus, if you rearrange the letters in Live at Budokan you get “Koan ad but vile” which we can take to mean the band decries the commercial corruption of a spiritual Zen tool. And if you rearrange the letters in “Fontainebleau Las Vegas” you get “Ennui a saleable vast fog” which we can take to mean the band decries the commercial corruption of a personal existential crisis.

The pieces all add up.

Or, you know, they were there to rock out for the opening of the boutique across from Rare 120. But we like our way better.

By Jason Scavone

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