We are like 100 percent positive the dude on the left was a Bond villain in the ’60s.

Unwritten Law did something you never see rock bands do anymore, and it’s really too bad. They put out an album that refers to the band name name: last year’s Live and Lawless. Like AC/DC’s High Voltage or .38 Special’s Special Delivery or Whitesnake’s Snakebite. The absolute king of them all was Mountain, who released Climbing!, Twin Peaks and Avalanche before finally running out of plain-old-mountain puns and decided volcanoes were close enough for Eruption. We guess Ski Slopes and Shifting into Low Gear and Burning a Lot of Gas were a little esoteric. Why all bands don’t do this we’ll never know. You’re telling us you wouldn’t buy a Fall Out Boy record named Falling for You? You’re a damn liar if you do. Anyway, Unwritten Law is tonight’s poolside Friday Night Live show at the Hard Rock Hotel, twinned with the SpyOnVegas.com Open Bar. Get your ticket here. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

Oh Megan, will you and your yappy little dog find completely contrived love?

Well, we guess when you’ve been on I Love Money already, nobody can accuse you of being disingenuous. Megan Hauserman’s Megan Wants a Millionaire is just putting a fine point on the niceties of golddigging.

To celebrate her celebration of the almighty paper, she’s bringing assistant Cecille Garr, Road Rules castmember Mark Long and Millionaire hopefuls Corey Thomas, Dave Cohen and Matt Riviera to the premiere party at Jet inside The Mirage tonight. Look, at least Megan, like ODB, just wants your money. She could steal everything we own and carry it away in a canvas bag with a dollar sign on it, and it would still be better than having to spend 10 hot seconds trapped in the same room as New York.

By Jason Scavone

K-Fed, seen here not reaching for his wallet.

More like Kevin STIFFerline, right? Up top!

K-Fed whose new VH1 reality show can only be explained by a briefcase full of Brittney’s money and a burned copy of Playing with Fire being left on producer Chris Arbego’s doorstep was filming yesterday at at the Hard Rock Hotel.

He got there around 5 p.m. to stop by the pool before turning up at Wasted Space with girlfriend Victoria Prince and 13 friends — where he proceeded to hit the comped bottles then leave a tip of exactly 0.00 dollars. American. Apparently he must have drawn down his bank on cargo shorts and oversize T-shirts.

Now, here’s the best reason to not stiff your server: It was very publicly put out there that not only does he tip like like a snippy Frenchman on holiday, but it was also very publicly put out there that he was “noticeably heavier.” Ooooh, snap. We’re doing this thing high-school-girls-who-are-friends-but-secretly-hate-each-other style.

K-Fed and Price were also at Tao last night drinking Jack and Coke — no idea how the tipping on that was. Sister property Lavo saw Jay-Z and Beyonce come in for a private dinner for two, dressed low-key. Also at Tao was Jerry Bruckheimer. This explains why there’s a smoking crater where Tao used to be. Ray-J turned up around 1:30 a.m.

Today at the Hard Rock, Vince Neil was checking out both the sound system at The Joint ahead of Saturday’s Crue Fest and the pool villa suite at the new Paradise Tower. This is the Crue’s first trip to the new Joint after they closed down the old one in February.

Neil’s empire is expanding quickly — His Feelgoods on Sahara just opened and it’ll have its grand opening Sunday with a 10 p.m. show from the Vince Neil Band. The second Vince Neil Ink location, inside the Rio at the entrance to VooDoo quietly had its soft open on Wednesday. They’re still putting in details like art and design, but they have six artists and five bays ready to lay down ink. The shop will have its grand opening in a month or so. We hope Tommy Lee comes, but has to hire someone to follow him around as his extended tattoo canvas. Like a personal assistant whose job it is to get more Mayhem tats.

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Tony Tran | SpyOnVegas.com)

Hey, all we know is that if you’re trying to downplay the idea you might be gay, maybe you shouldn’t stare at Evan Seinfeld’s chest when you have Tera Patrick’s right there.

By Jason Scavone

Actually, she doesn’t look all that furious. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

CSI and Fast and Furious actress Mirtha Michelle was at Lavo last night for their new Seduxion Latin night. Which, is apparently, the sexier way to spell “Seduction.” Just like Zapp Branigan’s sexy learning disability, sexlexia. She was also in something called Senorita Justice, which is about the most awesome name for a thing ever. It sounds like it should be Salma Hayek’s nickname for her ladybits.

By Jason Scavone

Hey, waitasec. Tera looks way too innocent here. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

Tera Patrick did up her birthday at Tao inside The Venetian last night with husband Evan Seinfeld. Cuba Gooding Jr. was on hand at the club, so we’re going to figure this means Tera is angling for a spot in Boat Trip 2: Trip Harder. It’ll be a bold reimagining of the series, much in the line of the line of cinematic gems Not the Bradys, Not The Munsters and Not Star Trek. Gooding was at Rare 120 inside the Hard Rock Hotel earlier for dinner.

By Jason Scavone

At least they didn’t do that stupid ‘Bittersweet’ song. That was Big Head Todd. Worst. Lyrics. Ever.

Toad the Wet Sprocket comes out of that dark corner of the ’90s when serious, earnest, acoustic-playing slow-jam bands were somehow lumped into the alternative section instead of being confined to the ghetto where bands played on your dentist’s receptionist’s radio belong. See also, Maniacs, 10,000; Blossoms, Gin; and the Blowfish, Hootie. At least they got their name from a Monty Python bit, but we will, for the rest of our life, always confuse them with Big Head Todd and the Monsters. The show is at 7 p.m. tonight at the Rio’s VooDoo Beach (keep your shirt on) and runs concurrently with the SpyOnVegas.com Open Bar from 6 to 9. Get your voucher here. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

With apologies to Tosh.0’s Keyboard Kato.

Mining was the first big industry in Nevada, which is tragicomically delicious when you consider what a ghost town Las Vegas is turning into. Oh, sure, you can complain about the highest unemployment record in the nation, or a pitiless banker foreclosing on your home, but what’s really important is how the worst economy since there was a run on cherries and George Washington was forced to trade Thomas Jefferson his wooden teeth for a fresh stack of Declarations of Independence is impacting the nightlife and entertainment industry.

The last couple of months have been brutal with one closing after another. Sure, everyone’s hoping CityCenter jumpstarts the economy back to the days where you’d pay $700 for a $30 bottle of overhyped vodka while a waitress flirts the tip money right out of your pocket — but that’s not going to change the last eight debacle-tastic weeks.

Sit down, warm your hands over a hobo trash can fire and pour out a 40 for some dearly departed friends: Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

We’re hopping down the Bunny Trail.

The N9NE Group’s Creative Mixologist Dave Herlong has finally brought together the disparate loves of Parisian artists and easily entertained children: Absinthe and the circus.

The Playboy Club’s Bunny Tail is an inspired twist on the Green Fairy that reimagines absinthe’s sugar-dissolving ritual as a fun bit of fluff — literally. In celebration of everyone’s second-favorite part of the backside on a Playboy Bunny’s costume, Herlong put the Tail together to mark Hugh Hefner’s 83rd birthday in April (and the Playboy mogul in turn put the drink away).

Start with a quick squeeze of lemon at the bottom of a glass, then fill with ice and add a little limoncello. Carefully prune a wad of cotton candy to fit the mouth of the glass and puff it up out of the top. Now, the rest of the drink is served club-style so you can get the hands-on experience of DIY cocktail construction. The be-cottoned glass is served alongside a mini bottle of Le Tourment Vert and a bottle of San Pelligrino Limonata. You can get the Tail instead with vodka or tequila — but you’re missing out on the experience if you do. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

The H-O-V had to G-O. (Photos by Erik Kabik | Retna)

Just before the restaurant at Tao was about to close last night, Jay-Z stopped in with a friend and a bodyguard to hit the private dining room. Jigga got a call that interrupted dinner, so they had to have everything wrapped up — and even apologized for having to bounce. That’s right, July 29, 2009: It’s the day a celebrity apologized for something without resorting to a halfhearted YouTube confession designed to appease public sentiment. We’re as shocked as you are.

Jay-Z is in town for three days of Beyonce at Encore, which starts tonight and runs through Sunday.

By Jason Scavone