Oh, THIS is what Obama was talking about. We totally get it now.

Miss April 2009 Hope Dworaczyk hosts at the Playboy Club inside the Palms tonight. Dworaczyk insists on dating Jason Kidd when we’re totally right here. Sure, maybe we’re not as tall, or rich or good at basketball or as handsome or well-traveled, but we’ve got it where it counts. We totally care about her as a person in a way all those jocks don’t. God. It’s like junior prom all over again. Or the much less appropriate senior prom we tried to go to like three years ago. Don’t you judge. We were just trying to make up for lost time.

Moon, meanwhile has Mari Ferrari for Goodlife. Ferrari was voted Best Topless DJ of Russia. The fact that they have enough topless DJs to have to hold a contest has us browsing Travelocity for flights to St. Petersburg.

• The Aggrolites and Tomorrow’s Bad Seeds play Mommy’s Little Monster at Wasted Space inside the Hard Rock Hotel.
• Body English at the Hard Rock has the SKAM Artist takeover with Sky Nellor, DJ Five, Eric Cubeechee, DJ Irie and Eric D-Lux.
• Mist at Treasure Island holds March Mania.
• The Bank at Bellagio does March Model Madness.
• Audigier at Treasure Island does No Money in the Bank with $2 entry, $5 You Call Its and bottle service starts at $150.
• Lavo at The Palazzo has Vice Vice Baby with DJ Vice.
• CatHouse inside Luxor holds Closet Sundays.
• Mist at Treasure Island holds Sunday Night Live with Brother Luke.
• Caramel at Bellagio welcomes marketing director Charlie Harris with Hello Charlie.
• Tabu at MGM Grand has Confession.
• Blue Martini at Town Square holds house:kitten Sunday.
• Don Rickles wraps up his run at The Orleans Showroom.
• The 10th anniversary High Rollers Weekend finishes its run at the Tropicana.
• Tom Jones drives the ladies wild at the MGM Grand Theater.
• Divebar (3035 E. Tropicana Ave.) holds Extreme Karaoke.
• Red Room (3101 W. Sahara Ave.) does Local Industry Coming Together.
• Cheyenne Saloon (3103 N. Rancho Drive) has Chanauk.

By Jason Scavone

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