Dane Cook’s biggest fan.

Straight up, we don’t like Dane Cook. We think he’s hacky, we don’t like his mugging, we hate the way he uses schmaltz to try to sound like a sensitive guy who just happens to like a couple of non-threatening blowjob jokes, and we think he gets by on physical energy and college dude charm more than on the quality of his material. And that’s all putting it nicely. But clearly, we’re in the minority.

His show at the Colosseum last night, nearly a sellout, was a case study in Cookology. Sitting right in front of us were four sorority girl types, clearly in love with the guy, who were a perfect example of a divide in people’s taste in comedy.

Every time they cracked up, like when Cook referenced his “powerful chest” and “big, fat cock,” we sat in stony indifference. One girl even went so far to parrot back Cook’s manic movements in fits of laughter, as if flailing were the ne plus ultra of comedy.

But every time he dropped a joke worth a mild chuckle, like a bit about a woman committing suicide by slowly lowering herself into a well filled with acid, the sorority girls were having none of it — to the point where one whispered a throaty “Wow” to her friend, as if somehow the very idea of setting up a joke with a premise was foreign.

Maybe that’s what it comes down to. Maybe his appeal is for people who take everything at face value. Then again, maybe people just wanted an excuse to buy “F*ck Bees” T-shirts, of which we saw at least two in the crowd on the way out.

Bobby Kelly opened for Cook after performing at the earlier — and much better — Jim Norton show. Although the show format was inverted with Norton doing his set first, then bringing out Russ Maneve and Kelly, it was strong start to finish.

Norton has a rabid fanbase — especially with the Opie & Anthony crowd, who kept egging him on to do characters from the show. It was a little inside baseball for those of us without satellite radio, but it did lead to Norton delivering one of the best heckler takedowns we’ve ever heard (“You put the accent in the wrong place, dushbag.”).

His set had a surprising amount of animal and political content, although there was enough raunch mixed in, with bits about jerking off a bear to get it to stop from mauling you, and what Hillary really should have done in the primaries. (“If Hillary had a any balls she’d have gone on Saturday Night Life, rubbed a cigar under her nose and said, ‘Ah, fuck it. I’ll smoke it anyway.’ “)

This was the best show we’ve seen so far at the Festival. Day 3 has its work cut out for it. Other Day 2 highlights include the Cheech & Chong roast, Jerry Seinfeld and Nick Cannon checking out the David Alan Greer show.

By Jason Scavone

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