Verne Troyer wants YOU — to watch his sex tape. No dice, Verne. (Photos by Ash Hopkins)

Verne Troyer was at Prive inside Planet Hollywood Resort both Friday and Saturday night where he was with a big group that included a Playboy playmate whom Troyer referred to as his girlfriend. Now look, we’ve seen what happens when Troyer has had girlfriends in the past, and frankly, we’re not sure he can handle the responsibility. For the sake of society’s ocular health, the government should do something here. We can’t afford another sex tape to nearly leak out.

Alexis Bledel of the Gilmore Girls celebrated her birthday at the club, keeping things low key on Friday before dialing it up on Saturday, when she drank vodka/Red Bulls and danced with her friends until 3 a.m. It was some sort of sisterhood. We believe pants were involved.

Finally, Kevin Federline stopped in around 1:30 a.m. on Saturday with a group of ladies and spent his night at the club’s Table 69.

By Jason Scavone

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