‘Grizzled’ sits well on Alice. (Via myspace.com/officialalicecooper)

Hide your guillotine and stash away your boa constrictor, everyone’s favorite Freddy’s Dead actor, Alice Cooper, is doing three days at The Orleans Showroom starting tonight at 8 p.m. This is the perfect chance for those of you who can’t wait two more months for Halloween to load up on eyeliner and shiny pants. To be fair, there really isn’t a bad time for shiny pants, but still.

You know what we love best about Alice Cooper? He can worship at the twin altars of horror and metal, but still find enough room in his life for golf and zombie ballet.

Through it all, through the sneering “Billion Dollar Baby” and the bombast of “No More Mr. Nice Guy”, this is still a guy who found a way to channel his inner Kip Winger and deliver the ne plus ultra of ’80s metal videos. “Poison” has it all. Emoting frontman? Check. Gratuitous wind machine? Check. Strobe lights? Fog? Check and check. Confusing setpiece? Oh, we’ve got chains hanging in what we’re pretty sure is Don Dokken’s basement. Close-ups of a rock bimbo? Tawny Kitaen didn’t look this good humping a car. Twist ending? A double-swerve of comeuppance that Hitchcock couldn’t have come up with if he had boned Rod Serling.

By Jason Scavone

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