We hope he doesn’t talk that fast with his mouth full. (Via ChrisTucker.com)

Chris Tucker, the star of nothin’ but Rush Hour movies was at Tao inside The Venetian last night with a lone male guest (we’re assuming it was Jackie Chan) where he dined on chicken satay, sushi, lobster wontons, Kobe beef and the soul-crushing despair that comes from hearing a restaurant full of people screeching “Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth” from every table around you, despite the fact that you were in Jackie Brown for God’s sake.

By Jason Scavone

FACT: Steve Aoki exists on two planes of existence simultaneously. (Photo by Ray Alamo | SpyOnVegas.com)

DJ Steve Aoki invades LAX inside Luxor tonight to spin a live set promoting his new album, “Pillowface and His Airplane Chronicles.” That’s not all that’s going on tonight, kiddies. Read on for the rundown. Events at 10 p.m. unless noted. Click for more words and pictures »

By Jason Scavone

How often do you think Donny Osmond gets Walter Sobchak thrown in his face?

Soon-to-be Vegas headliner Donny Osmand had some words of wisdom for Miley Cyrus in the Time 100, written, actually, before the super creepy photos of her looking like a refugee from Village of the Damned came out. Quoth the Osmond:

I guarantee there will be many bumps in the road ahead. One of them, especially for somebody who acts and sings on her own TV show, is that your image becomes cryogenically frozen into a specific stereotype.

Prescient!

By Jason Scavone

“Now tell them you fell down the stairs, or so help me God when we get home, I’ll hit you so hard it’ll tat up the other side of your face.”

By Jason Scavone

She still doesn’t like your girlfriend. Yes, you, you.

Following last night’s show at The Pearl inside the Palms, Avril Lavigne went up to Moon for the afterparty where she and her crew of around 20, including members of opening act Boys Like Girls partied until 3 a.m. at the biggest table in the room, even being joined by George Maloof. It’s a well-known fact that all casino moguls love girlie pop-punk. Steve Wynn alone owns the biggest collection of Pink memorabilia in the world.

Also at The Palms last night was Dhani Harrison, son of late Beatles guitarist George Harrison at the Playboy Club with members of the cast of Cirque’s Love, where he drank Long Island Iced Teas and his guitar gently wept.

By Jason Scavone

First Axl, then Scott Weiland. Slash hopes to next work with someone easy, like Charles Manson. (Via VelvetRevolver.com)

Opening at Symbolic Gallery (4631 S. Dean Martin Drive, Suite 100) this Friday from 6 to 9 p.m. is a new exhibit by rock photographer Mick Rock, “Rock N Roll Eye,” which is not to be confused with “Electric Eye,” the completely awesome Judas Priest song. Easy mistake to make.

Rock got his start shooting Bowie (David, not Zowie) in 1972 and has shot Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, The Sex Pistols, The Ramones, The Talking Heads, The Strokes, Michael Stipe and The Chemical Brothers. While all that is well and good, the important thing to note here is that expected to attend the opening are ex-Guns ‘n’ Roses guitarist Slash, fellow former Gunner Matt Sorum, Motley Crue bassist and former heroin enthusiast Nikki Sixx, Anthrax guitarist Scott Ian, Rob Zombie guitarist John 5 and — naturally, because he’s omnipresent — Criss Angel.

Does anyone give an event instant rock cred the way Slash does? We’re pretty sure Slash could hang out in the children’s ward of a major hospital and by the end of the night there would be six skanky groupies hanging out and a shady dude dealing PCP from behind the dialysis machine — which is just the way we’d want it if we were a terminally ill fifth-grader.

By Jason Scavone

Junior Seau, seen here before facing a team of destiny ordained by Jesus, Vishnu and Zeus themselves. (Via Patriots.com)

Linebacker Junior Seau, late of the 18-1 New England Patriots (Did we mention they were 18-1? They definitely were 18-1. Because they lost. To the Giants. In the Super Bowl. No, that won’t ever get old, but thanks for asking.) spent Monday afternoon drinking Corona and Southern Comfort at the Venus Pool Club at Caesars Palace in a VIP cabana.

From there, Seau and company went over to Social House for dinner on the patio, sake bombs, and quiet jealousy over the fact that Amani Toomer and Eli Manning have Super Bowl rings.

Zowie Bowie was also spotted at Social House Monday, while other local fixtures Carrot Top and Mike Tyson made it to Pure last night. Much like Seau and teammate Rodney Harrison, neither Carrot Top nor Tyson were able to subvert fate, destiny and an acrobatic David Tyree in front of 70,000 screaming fans on Feb. 3.

By Jason Scavone

Lil John may be our new favorite person. EVER.

Uhhh, you remember that whole thing about Lil John bringing his own special pimp cups to Tao Saturday night? Well. There they are. Including the custom iced out magnum of Patron that Lil John presented to club owner Jason Strauss.

We have absolutely nothing to add that could possibly make that any funnier than it is. It’s our deepest hope, however, that Lil John can come up with a similar Maker’s Mark cozy and deliver it here to the FiascoCave.

By Jason Scavone

Kaskade is set to make a kakophony. (Via KaskadeMusic.com)

The Bank inside Bellagio’s Thursday night Sessions party brings in seven-time No. 1 hitmaker Kaskade this week. Kaskade scored on Billboard’s Hot Dance Play chart most recently with his remix of The Pussycat Dolls’ “Don’t Cha.” As if that song wasn’t already ubiquitous.

Entertainment Weekly and Kanye West noted his “Steppin’ Out” in 2004 as one of the top singles of the summer, and who are we to argue with a guy who surrounds himself with spaceships?

By Jason Scavone

Anna Naroznaja is not Hawaiian, nor is Estonia tropical. Somehow, this still works. (via HawaiianTropicModels.com)

It’s just a week away until the gaping void left in our hearts by the departure of the Miss USA pageant is filled, when the Miss Hawaiian Tropic International Model Search celebrates its 25th anniversary at the Golden Nugget.

Running from May 6-10, the contest will pit representatives from dozens of countries against each other as they try to crack the top 10 for a share of $25,000 in cash and prizes and a chance to take the crown that Miss Hawaiian Tropic 2007, Estonia’s Anna Naroznaja, will be passing on. If the folks at Hawaiian Tropic would listen to us for a change, this will be the year oil wrestling is finally used to determine a winner.

The run-up to the event will include photo shoots, rehearsals and meet-and-greets at the Nugget and Hawaiian Tropic Zone at Planet Hollywood Resort, with the preliminary swimsuit competition set for May 9 and the finals May 10 at the Freemont Street Experience’s First Street Stage. Everclear will perform, and their depressing songs about daddy issues should be a perfect counterbalance to an otherwise upbeat evening.

By Jason Scavone