My God, it’s full of stars.

Look at that grill. It’s hypnotic. You want to turn away, but you can’t. It’s like staring into the sun. The candelas coming off that thing could light a coal mine for a year. You’re powerless to stop the avalanche of crunk spewing from the awesome majesty of Lil John’s mouth.

The crunk juice aficionado takes over the turntables tonight at Prive inside Planet Hollywood. He stole the show on New Year’s Eve when he hijacked Avril Lavigne’s countdown and went on to an impromptu gig with Too Short. If you were Avril, though, a tiny little pop-punk pixie, wouldn’t you back off when a frenzied Lil John decided he wanted the spotlight?

By Jason Scavone

Shortly after this picture was taken, Vanilla stared longingly at a pair of parachute pants in a store window.

You’ve got your Bogart in Casablanca, you’ve got your Gable in Gone with the Wind, you’ve got your Cooper in High Noon, but if you really want to capture that stoic, hard-but-soulful leading man vibe, you need to look no further than Vanilla Ice in Cool as Ice. See, they called it that because the star was named Vani– well, you get it.

You could even get your chance to ask him about it because Vanilla, who will never escape that name no matter how much he insists on returning to his birth name, Rob Van Winkle, will be on hand at McFadden’s inside the Rio Saturday at 11 p.m. to do all those things he’s known so well for. You know, sending word to one’s mother. Being white. Etc. We hope he plays that song from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2.

By Jason Scavone

(Photo from JossStone.com)

Smoky-throated Brit Joss Stone did some shopping at the Hard Rock Hotel today in advance of her show Saturday at The Joint. Stone picked up a hot pink Chio swimsuit with Swarovski crystals, a scented candle, multi-color flower print tights and a bronzing body shimmer. There, now armed with that knowledge and a few more bars in the shower of your take on the White Stripes’ “Black Math” you can be your very own home version of Joss.

Also seen checking into the Hard Rock was Tampa Bay running back Michael Bennett. Earlier in the day, former middleweight champ Fernando Vargas was spotted at Planet Hollywood’s Hawaiian Tropic Zone, where El Feroz was kicking back a beverage.

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Hew Burney | SpyOnVegas.com)

Diddy (Who absolutely did not shoot Tupac. Come on, LA Times, even we knew that.) came up roses wearing his svengali hat for Making of the Band 3 with Danity Kane, the girl group that celebrates two straight weeks at the No. 1 spot on the charts with their second album Welcome to the Dollhouse with a party tonight at The Bank.

Danity Kane is named for, uh, an anime superhero one of the girls came up with. Good God, even SWV tried harder than that. Two straight weeks at No. 1 for a modern Monkees, but the new Gnarls Barkley album, fueled by the mind twistingly good single, “Run,” only comes in at No. 18.

The quintet sashays down the red carpet at 11:30 p.m.

By Jason Scavone

PLEASE someone give her a Patridge Family spin-off.

Recent old-photos-coming-back-to-haunt-her victim and Ashton Kutcher accomplice Audrina Patridge will hit play host tonight at the Pussycat Dolls Lounge inside Caesars Palace.

It’s been a big week for The Hills in town with Spencer Pratt staying at the Hard Rock Hotel for Wednesday’s World Event Cagefighting match. Pratt dined with sister Stephanie at Wolfgang Puck’s Cut Wednesday night, and was seen in Cut’s lounge last night with love interest Heidi Montag.

It was reported yesterday that Montag and Pratt were staying in separate hotels over the weekend. Rumors of a feature-length Hills movie started swirling around the Internet yesterday, leading to simultaneous explosion of thousands of teenage girls’ heads.

By Jason Scavone

Over/under on how many times she’s made “All the Small Things” cracks at Barker: 759.

Former Miss USA, Playboy model, Dancing with the Stars vet and girlfriend of Dennis Quaid (Surely she meant to date Randy, right? You say a sense of humor is sexy all the time, gals. Time to step up.) Shanna Moakler celebrates her 33rd birthday at Prive inside Planet Hollywood Saturday night.

The on-again, off-again wife of former blink-182 drummer Travis Barker gets the party started at 10:45 p.m. Moakler has also been romantically linked with Billy Idol, leading us to suspect she’s chiefly interested in dating guys with exceptionally spiky hair.

By Jason Scavone

Playboy? Salons? This should be HARE-raising. HA! Oh man, hare, it’s — what? No? Fine. Be that way.

On Sunday night at 8 p.m., the Playboy Club at The Palms kicks off its Hair Wars, a competition among local salons to win $1,000, which they’ll probably just wind up blowing to feed their crippling conditioner habit.

Brandon Hair, Globe, Diva, Lime Light, Arc, Salon Static and Amp will all square off and try to present the best pin-up girl style during this first round of competition, while DJ Roxy Cottontail spins. If you go, try not to stand too long in one spot lest roving bands of stylists saddle you with Javier Bardem’s No Country For Old Men ‘do.

By Jason Scavone

Robert Smith. (Please note, not the singer of The Cure or the Vikings running back.)

The nominations for the James Beard Foundation culinary awards are out, and Las Vegas sommelier Robert Smith of Picasso at Bellagio is in the mix for what are considered by some to be the Oscars of the food world. Whether that includes an orchestra to play winners off when the acceptance speech runs long is as yet unverified.

“The James Beard nomination is truly an honor and a coveted reward for Bellagio and our team at Picasso,” Smith said.

Also receiving a nod was Saipin Chutima Lotus of Siam (953 E Sahara Ave.) in the Best Chef: Southwest category.

By Jason Scavone

We’re rooting for her simply out of provincial loyalty. (Photos by Erik Kabik)

They’ve got the sashes to prove it: The 51 hottest women in the country descended on Planet Hollywood last night to kick off the two-week run-up to Miss USA 2008. That counts the District of Columbia, for those of you keeping score at home, which we believe is represented this year by Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

The pageant will be aired on NBC live April 11. Pageant owner Donald Trump recently sued Senorita Mexico USA for allegedly infringing on Miss USA’s copyright, and is keeping a watchful eye on Fraulein Deutschland USA.

Miss Nevada Veronica Grabowski is reportedly dating Mindfreak Criss Angel, although if you press him too hard for details, he may levitate you to the top of the Luxor and leave you there.

By Jason Scavone

He’s the one with the wallet that says Bad Mother … oh, you know. (Photo by Erik Kabik)

Prior to their joint birthday extravaganza at Revolution Lounge, Bare Pool Lounge and finally Jet, director Quentin Tarantino and Black Eyed Pea Fergie kicked things off by taking in a show of LOVE last night at The Mirage. We’re pretty sure Tarantino had The Beatles in mind when he wrote the Gimp scene in Pulp Fiction.

After the show, the birthday boy and girl and their friends and family were treated to a backstage celebration that featured a tower of cupcakes, during which time Tarantino was overheard to complain loudly about why he had to be Mr. Pink Frosting.

?uestlove spun sounds inspired by Tarantino’s films for a crowd that included Fergie’s boyfriend, Josh Duhamel, The Rza, Kid Rock, Vivaca Fox, Darryl Hannah, Diablo Cody, Eli Roth, Nelly, Keyshia Cole, Miya Granatella, Esther Canadas, Kim Vo, Stacy Keibler, Emily Wynne-Hughes and Tarantino producer Lawrence Bender.

It was also noted that during the performance of LOVE, Fergie sipped white wine, which should put a damper on those pregnancy rumors.

By Jason Scavone