No, really, the draw is all the sports they show.

Will UCLA take it all? Will UNLV get out of the first round? Will anyone recognize that Mississippi Valley State isn’t a community college that specializes in air conditioner repair? Who cares, Scores Las Vegas has naked girls, and as we all know, boobs beat basketball.

From 7-10 p.m. Thursday, the gentlemen’s club will host a SpyOnVegas.com Open Bar, featuring Stoli Blueberi Berry Fusion Lemonade cocktails. Because nothing captures the desperation of trying to hit an open trey at the buzzer to pull off the miracle upset of a dominant No. 2 seed quite like … blueberry.

If you like your basketball with considerably less nudity (though we can’t fathom why you would), the 40/40 Club at Palazzo will be open early for the first round of the NCAA tournament. Jay-Z’s joint will welcome the tremendously hung over and the beer-for-breakfast crowd starting at 9 a.m. Thursday and Friday.

Over at the Hard Rock Hotel’s Center Bar, a plethora of go-go dancers will mourn the first round elminations Friday night after the last game is finished in a contest to see who is the go-goiest of them all. The quarterfinals are Saturday around 8 p.m. at The Joint, and they shake it in head-to-head dance-offs until there’s one girl left standing. There can be only one, Highlander.

For those of you who don’t own a TV, or just refuse to watch sports on any set that isn’t half a city block wide (check THAT diagonal, Best Buy), Planet Hollywood has you covered. The Runnin’ Rebels’ opening-round tilt against Kent State tips off at 11:55 a.m. Thursday, and will be broadcast on the Miracle Mile’s Strip-side LED video screen.

Go on, Rebs. Finish the job the National Guard started. (What? Don’t look at me like that. We all know hippies aren’t people.)

By Jason Scavone

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