Miss Ohio Monica Day cuts the cheese. No, really. Fenacho.

The Miss USA girls, or at least 15 of them, continued their all-out assault on Vegas today at The Venetian after yesterday filming their introductions for the April 11 broadcast. The pageant contestants were back at the hotel to take a gondola ride where they are rumored to have caused a six-boat pile-up as gawking gondoliers failed to keep their eyes on the road. Canal. Whatever.

From there it was on to Morels French Steakhouse & Bistro inside The Palazzo, where executive chef Eric Bauer personally served the girls. Bet that was a tough gig to take, Bauer.

By Jason Scavone

FACT: My Chemical Romance’s next album will be a tour de force death metal/jam band mash-up. (Photo by Scott Harrison)

The guys from Panic at the Disco, Mark Stoermer of The Killers and Macy Gray took in last night’s My Chemical Romance show at The Joint inside Hard Rock Hotel, presumably in matching black shirts and red ties. My Chem returns to The Joint for a second performance tonight at 7 p.m.

After the show, Stoermer and fellow Killer Ronnie Vannucci had dinner at Ago with Gerard and Mikey Way before heading to Body English where both John Dolmayan and Bill Bellamy were also hanging out.

Joss Stone, meanwhile, was treated to a surprise early birthday party at a private VIP suite where Gray also joined in. If Amy Winehouse had shown up, it would’ve officially been an R&B chick singer convention.

By Jason Scavone

For whom is this situation more embarrasing? Discuss. (Photo by Scott Harrison)

You have to give him this much credit: 17 years after releasing his hit single and 16 years, 364 days and 22 hours after becoming a punchline for everyone from 3rd Bass to Ice-T, Vanilla Ice is still out there doing “Ice, Ice Baby.”

And still, apparently, getting girls to show off the goods for it. At least, that’s what happened Saturday night at the Rio’s McFadden’s, when Ice was apparently a huge hit with a bacherlorette in a beer-swilling competition.

At least he didn’t destroy McFadden’s with a bat.

By Jason Scavone

Picture this with 58 percent more peg legs.

Francesco’s, the Italian trattoria inside Treasure Island, will be closing down tomorrow. The space will be renovated for an as-yet undisclosed restaurant at an as-yet undisclosed time.

We’re hoping that the TI puts in something a little more in line with its traditional pirate theme, like a Vegas outpost of the national chain Nothin’ But Grog.

By Jason Scavone

Don’t do it, Tailor Made. There’s no way she’s as delightfully batshit as New York. (Photo by Erik Kabik)

One-time Dancing with the Stars rug-cutter Shanna Moakler was at Planet Hollywood’s Prive Saturday night to celebrate her 33rd birthday with Patron, vodka and Red Bull, 40 of her closest friends and George Weisgerber, better known to his adoring legions as I Love New York 2 winner Tailor Made.

“Winner,” of course, being a relative term. He did, after all, get sentenced to date (or possibly marry, if you’re inclined to believe reality TV reunion shows) crazy-ass New York and her 46 pounds of fake boobs.

Also seen at Prive was comedian Wanda Sykes, who would be perfect for Tailor if that whole New York thing doesn’t work out.

By Jason Scavone

(Photo by Scott Harrison)

After dining at Fix at Bellagio, Danity Kane delivered the goods to partygoers at Bank on Friday by breaking into “Damaged” during a fete for the all-girl quintet’s status as the country’s chart-topping act for the last two weeks. Diddy is so proud he’s going to start a new business to celebrate.

Also on hand in a separate party were San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman and rapper Lupe Fiasco, who is this website’s second cousin on our mother’s side.

By Jason Scavone

Just your typical Epic Records employee. (Photo by Erik Kabik)

The Hills – Reality star? Actress? We’re not sure how one would actually classify The Hills – Audrina Patridge was on hand Saturday night to host at Pure inside Caesars Palace.

Following in the prestigious footsteps of Paris Hilton and Carmen Electra, Patridge performed with the Pussycat Dolls. Now, we know you’re desperate to know whether she, well, let’s just say “got into character,” with the Dolls. The answer to all your prayers for grainy cell phone photos can be found here.

By Jason Scavone

Buffalo lineman Marvin Fowler, center, offers advice to two hopefuls looking to break camp with the Bills on the defensive line.

Buffalo Bills lineman Melvin Fowler was spotted at Bare Pool Lounge at The Mirage on Saturday along with teammates JP Losman and Daryl Boykins. The 310-pound Fowler at one point jumped up and danced the Soulja Boy on stage to the delight of fans of smashmouth, trench-warfare football and tightly choreographed line dancing. The three Bills then went out and lost a Super Bowl as a show of respect to longtime Buffalo fans.

Director Quentin Tarantino was also at Bare on Saturday, knocking back a strawberry margarita. It’s what Vincent Vega would have wanted.

Meanwhile, over at Luxor’s CatHouse, System of a Down drummer John Dolmayan was having dinner with celeb chef Kerry Simon Friday night while Criss Angel was in the Loungerie. Er, not dancing, just hanging out. We hope.

And finally, ER actor Shane West was seen Saturday night at Bellagio’s Bank.

By Jason Scavone

We’re pretty sure the girls we grew up with next door were nothing like this.

Rain inside The Palms was all about variety Friday night. You had your choice of eye-catching diversions: A bondage model, the triple threat of three blondes with their own reality show, or 2,800 hard-charging partygoers, many of whom were Playboy hopefuls, as the Girls Next Door hosted a Bachelorette Bash for Stacy Burke.

Kendra Wilkinson, Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt rolled into Rain all in black, no doubt to mourn another bondage girl being made an honest woman. It’s a story as old as time, really.

In-between rounds of photos with fans, the girls found time to get up on stage and sing along with Snoop tunes, leaving Hef alone in the Mansion complaining bitterly that back in his day, it would’ve been Ava Gardner up there crooning along with Dean Martin. OK, chances are Hef doesn’t have a whole lot to complain about, actually.

By Jason Scavone

Twisting, shouting, etc. (Photos by Erik Kabik)

The Miss USA girls wasted no time since their arrival in Vegas last week, getting down to business Saturday night at Planet Hollywood’s Stomp Out Loud theater for a sock hop to benefit Best Buddies International.

The 52 girls, counting current Miss USA Rachel Smith, danced with 52 people with intellectual disabilities from Opportunity Village. A time-traveling Michael J. Fox playing “Johnny B. Goode” was, regrettably, not part of the festivities.

Smith herself danced away in a T-shirt, jeans, and her official Miss USA sash. Does she have to wear that thing everywhere? Even the grocery store? We’re all in favor of more jobs that involve constant sash-wearing. We’d at least like to see it brought back for mayor. It would accentuate Oscar Goodman’s martini nicely.

By Jason Scavone