1024FRI: THE ROUNDUP

KanyeHsieh
Oh Yeezy. You’re the Yeeziest. (Photo by Denise Truscello)

So, Life Is Beautiful is happening. You’ve probably heard. It’s kind of a thing. Kanye headlines tonight, if you need to get your Yeezy on. Or you wan wait til Tao tonight, where Kim’s celebrating her birthday. Either way, please don’t grab North so she can find out what it’s like to crowd surf. That sounds like a bad idea that’s also a felony. Plus you’d have to deal with Kanye ranting about celebrities don’t have rights some more. No one wants that. (more…)

OMNIA ALREADY EXPANDING

Omnia
You try to be Omnia to everyone.

The wrapper isn’t even off the Omnia-nee-Pure at Caesars Palace, but Hakkasan Group is already pushing westward. Coming this spring, Hak is overhauling its just-acquired Stingaree club in the Gaslamp as another Omnia. Stingaree’s last night of operation is November 2, and the second Omnia will open just after the spring bow of the one at Caesars.

Early rumblings have it that Hak ain’t stopping at two, either. We’re hearing at least one more Omnia is targeted to be in the works.

DEADMAU5 WILL NOT BE GOING TO ANY OF PARIS’ DJ ENGAGEMENTS

deadwet
Dammit, Paris. Get off Deadmau5′s lawn, already. (Photos by Al Powers)

Deadmau5, it turns out, is not a fan of DJ Paris Hilton.

Training the full power of his fully armed and operational battle station on the lowest of low-hanging fruit, the ‘Mau5 dropped all sorts of truth-bombs about Paris for collecting check after check at her DJ gigs. First, though, he starts out nice and slow.

I remember back when, at the cosmo in vegas, she attended, and i guess i was accommodating (as far as that usually goes for me) i could see she was having a fun time, liked the music, and just wanted to be a part of it all… so of course, why not… even i couldn’t hate on that.

But the rest of it, he could totally hate on. Comparing Paris’ DJ tourism to his budding interest in Formula One, Deadmau5 says:

so maybe youll catch me performing in the snake pit, atrtending a professional track event, or even having some friendly fun with some legit drivers in a non competitive track setting… but i 10000% never in a million years wouldnt have the balls to encroach on their scene, and consider myself a professional.. enter their marketplace, and profit.

thats just insulting as fuck.

so paris, thank you… were actually not even mad youre enthusiatic about electronic music… we love that youre a part of our party. But please, get the fuck back in your go kart. No need to prove that you found someone stupid enough to consider paying you a million dollars for something the world knows you arent… because here’s what you actually are to everyone who knows better.. ticket sales. nothing more.

Next up, Deadmau5 pens a sarcasm-laden poison pen missive to ebola. (Ebola is actually a more accomplished DJ at this point.) (more…)

DEANDRE JORDAN DIDN’T SEE NOTHIN’ OUT OF BLAKE GRIFFIN

jordan
Of course he didn’t. His eyes were closed.

While Metro is still investigating whether or not Blake Griffin choked, slapped and stole from a dude at Tao, one person has Griff’s back. That person is, predictably, on the Clippers. DeAndre Jordan was there and lays down Hoops Omerta when he says he didn’t know nothin’ about nothin’, so stop askin’ questions, copper. Meanwhile, Metro says the case remains open. We’re hoping for a protracted manhunt if they do decide to charge Griffin. The whole War Machine thing was fun. Dog could get involved again. (more…)

1022WED: THE ROUNDUP

lemmy.jpg
Lemmy not included. Sadly. But Slim Jim ain’t a bad consolation prize.

The Sin City Sinners roll up with Stray Cats drummer Slim Jim Phantom tonight at Brooklyn Bowl (7 p.m.), because you haven’t listened to enough “Stray Cat Strut” lately. Seriously, when was the last time you blasted “Stray Cat Strut” in your living room? Years ago? What are you even doing with your life? Getting your dinner from somewhere other than a garbage can? Total waste. (more…)

BLAKE GRIFFIN: ALLEGED WIELDER OF PIMP-HAND

Clippers_Damon
No cameramen were harmed in the taking of this picture.

Hey, you remember that fun, team-building night out the Clippers had just last weekend at Tao? Of course you do. It’s weird that you’re so into the Clippers’ off-court movements, but we guess it keeps you out of trouble. Unlike Blake Griffin. Allegedly.

Per TMZ, Metro is looking into whether Griffin grabbed a phone from, choked and slapped a 39-year-old dude named Daniel. To be fair, Griffin did say he was going to start standing up for himself more.

Tao had no comment. Probably because they don’t want to chase away any lucrative Frankie Muniz business. (more…)

J-LO COMIN’

JLo
Who, li’l ol’ me? (Photos by Erik Kabik)

Britney Spears is getting a roomie, y’all.

This sort of explains why Jennifer Lopez was hanging out at Marquee for the Bruno Mars afterparty over the weekend, but apparently J-Lo is close to inking a two-year residency deal to split the Axis Theater with Britney Spears. She’d earn more than $26 million over the course of the deal–and her per-show rate would be higher than Brit’s, $350,000 to $310,000. Let the Grand Diva Wars the prophecy foretold begin.

Maybe this time they can skip the predawn announcement in the middle of the desert. Considering how well it worked out the last time.

1021TUE: THE ROUNDUP

wonderyears
And this is why we’ll always have a thing for Winnie Cooper.

The Wonder Years are at Hard Rock Live tonight ( 5 p.m., $23 ). The band, not the TV show. But come on, you got SO excited when you thought it was going to be the TV show, didn’t you. It wouldn’t even have to be any kind of live cast reunion or anything. They could just put on a bunch of episodes and charge five bucks to get in. We’d pay it. (more…)

SHARKNADO 3: STILL NO SHARK VEGAS

Sharknado2
Who wants to go to a divey tourist trap like Sharklando?

Ian. Buddy. We thought you liked us. You’ve hung out for two summers now doing Chippendales. We thought that meant something.

But apparently we were wrong. Because when Sharknado 3 happens, it’s going to be along the East Coast. Er, Feast Coast–from Washington to Orlando.

What do we have to do here? Wait for Sharknado: Ottawa to run on by before a confluence of weather events sucks the water (and sharks) out of Lake Mead and sets them loose on an unsuspecting Las Vegas? We’re begging, here. You know you can’t have a proper disaster series until Vegas gets wrecked. Do your part. Something, something sand sharks. There. We just got you started. (more…)

1020MON: THE ROUNDUP

Irrera
Dom, not Tom, not Dan.

If you’ve been saving your trip to Brad Garrett’s Comedy Club for a special occasion, this is the week to break it out. Dom Irrera headlines ($46-$68, 8 p.m.), and anyone who did a stint on Dr. Katz is right by us. And anyone who’s done a voice on Bob’s Burgers is doubly right by us. What we’re trying to say is: We watch too many cartoons. (more…)

  • Categories